Busy. Tired. Tired. Hopeful

I would think that if I have so much work, I won’t be upset about anything else. But somehow it adds up: my ginormous workload, the overall worrisome situation in Illinois with a still-growing number of cases, being apart from the rest of the family, mom going crazy because of isolation.
I am trying to imagine how restless other people are becoming when even I, with all my understanding of the necessity of quarantine, have a difficult time continuing that way.

Last week, I started to bike early in the morning regularly. I loved these very early bike rides for a long time, but now it’s even better because usually there is nobody on the bike paths before 6 AM. However, today, I met several large groups of people walking in the forest preserve. That explained why there were no deers today :). One group consisted of at least ten adults with no masks on. And it was 5-40 AM.

One of the things which makes me feel tired is the fact that I constantly hear comments, both from “left” and “right,” about my behavior. It looks like in the eyes of half of the world, I am not doing enough and endangering myself and everybody around me. And for another half of the world, I am a panicer subdued to the propaganda.

My honest feelings are that none of us have enough information to evaluate the risks completely adequately. And every day, more information becomes available. I do not know about others, but my opinion on what’s the right behavior changes often. I am trying very hard not to criticize anybody’s behavior because I am not sure whether the ways I am handling the situation are better. I am trying very hard not to be angry with people. Success varies :).

One piece of good news: got a volunteer permit:

And another piece of good news – it finally stopped raining :).

11 thoughts on “Busy. Tired. Tired. Hopeful

  1. > being apart from the rest of the family, mom going crazy because of isolation.
    Same situation here. My grandma is 86. She lives alone and I can`t come to her place because I

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Sorry novice here). So I`m going to install a TeamViewer on my old phone and send the phone to my grandma. I`ll arrange several video meetings a day for her. I hope it helps her to stay more involved and distracts from the situation.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s all good, and thank you for your reply! As for my Mom, who is 85, I communicate with her simply because there is no other option. I am her only window to the world. That puts additional restrictions on me because I am limiting my contacts with the world. Fortunately, our community is moderately impacted, and it is relatively easy to be safe. But I still have no idea when I will see in person my husband, my daughter and my granddaughter, and the new baby who is yet to come. I saw my younger son once, and my older sone twice so briefly it does not count.


  3. “It looks like in the eyes of half of the world, I am not doing enough and endangering myself and everybody around me. And for another half of the world, I am a panicer subdued to the propaganda.” — that’s exactly how all the normal people feel now. It’s stressful not only because of all the fears and discomforts, but also because most people are confused and bewildered about what is right and wrong and, in order to find some firm ground under their feet, press others as well…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It is completely understandable, that’s why I am not arguing and such. And I honestly can’t be sure about the best course. Anna mentioned something similar – that she does not have a good feeling, of whether she is doing enough, or too much, or too little for her family protection.


  4. You are doing the right thing by trying not to judge other people because as you said, nobody knows for sure. I know some of my friends are a lot more worried and scared about the whole situation than my husband and I are, and I can only imagine what they think of us. But I don’t care and don’t even want to think too much about it.

    I follow all the rules imposed by the government and then try to stay focused on my own little world, my family, my work. It is best for me at the moment.

    BTW love your picture 🙂 Really nice outfit, good for you 🙂 I am forever in my jeans, t-shirts and hoodies, time to change into something beautiful. Summer is finally here 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Thank you :). I go dressy at home, or not, the same as I would head to work on any given day, only without a makeup. And I love that New Zealand handmade neckless 🙂

    I think that it is essential not to rebel against the local regulations, and also to respect other people’s comfort zone. Anna was telling me yesterday about their new neighbors, and how the mother told her kid that he should not enter Anna’s backyard because other people heed to feel safe (Anna, correct me if I said it wrong, but I think to was something pretty close).


  6. (virtual) hugs! 🙂 In the above comments all what I was going to say – all was said. We all need to be kind to ourselves and to our close ones.

    Liked by 1 person

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