On family history, parenting, education, social issues and more
Author: Hettie D.
My name is Henrietta (Hettie) Dombrovskaya. I was born in Saint-Petersburg, Russian (actually, back then – Leningrad, USSR) in 1963, and immigrated to the United States in 1996.
I love Saint Petersburg, the city I was born and raised in, and I think it’s one of the most beautiful places in the world. Similarly (but differently) I love Chicago, and can’t imagine myself moving somewhere else in the observable future.
I have three children, Igor, Vlad and Anna, all adults living on their own, and one (so far) granddaughter Nadia. I also believe that my children are the best thing that happened in my life.
As for my professional life, I am working in the field of Information Technologies. When I was twenty, I’ve declared that the databases are the coolest thing invented and that I want to do them for the rest of my life. Thirty plus years later, I still believe it’s true, and still, believe that the databases are the best. These two statements together imply that I think a person can have it all, and indeed, I think so! Keep reading my journals to find out how I did it.
I have had this dishwasher for more than two years. At some point, I noticed the cleaning quality had declined, and dishes not placed in the middle had residue. I even purchased an extra year of insurance because I was afraid I would need to call for a major repair. I read the instructions at the time it was installed, and I thought that I had been doing all the cleaning that was necessary, but it turned out I was wrong.
A week ago, I decided to read all of the instructions one more time, and it turned out I never cleaned the parts that could potentially be clogged – and they were, indeed!
I finally took the racks out, turned them upside down, and cleaned all the small holes that were clogged! Why I can’t read instructions – don’t ask 😂
There was a book, and there was a movie, and there was a musical. They met. They fell in love. Life circumstances separated them. They found each other ten years later to stay together forever. Then she developed dementia. And he moved to the nursing home to be close to her, although she couldn’t recognize him anymore and didn’t know who he was. He reads to her “a book” – a notebook with the story of their lives, in hopes that she will remember and return to him.
Most of the Broadway productions are great, and this one was no exception. Also, in addition to great music, a live orchestra, and beautiful voices, the acting was… one of those moments when everything is so real and so recognizable that it’s heartbreaking. Of course, the story touches on the topics that are constantly on my mind, but it’s not like I couldn’t watch it because of some similarities to real life. It just went along with my thinking…
Three pairs of actors play the main characters in three different stages of their lives.
My weekend regret: I didn’t go to the beach because of the weather. The wins: 1) the rain stopped mid-Saturday, so I could still go biking; 2)I did a lot of non-work work, primarily working on my open-source projects. Another regret: I am still not where I want to be with almost all of them.
Anyway, some Sunday positivity:
Monroe HarborThere was a very strong wind from the North, and I biked rather far South, plus I left a bit late, and ended up being back to Rogers Park later than I thought. Fortunately, the Common Cup is right on my way home. I never tried their oatmeal because I didn’t expect much of it, but last time, my friend ordered it, and I tried it and loved it! This one is with raspberries and almonds!My weekly summer bouquet from the Glenwood Sunday Market
I received this in one of the WBEZ newsletters, and I couldn’t stop laughing! Yes, that’s how it looks!
Hi Henrietta!
Somewhere between changing the sheets for the third time and making yet another cheese plate, I realized my home has basically become a bed and breakfast. My washer and dryer have been working overtime, as have I.
If your summer has looked anything like mine, you know how it is. Everyone wants to experience summer in Chicago and all the fun that comes with it, yet you’re scrambling to remember what’s even happening this week. Let our calendar do the planning for you and bring your guests our way for a good time, like a free jazz concert featuring Mike Reed’s Common Good Dance Band on August 14 at Navy Pier or Thalia Hall’s Free For All on August 29.
The good news? Fall is coming, and with it, a little breathing room. We’ve already got some great events on the books, so once the guest room empties out (or the air mattress is deflated), it might be time to start filling in your own calendar again. Scroll down for a preview.
I only heard about Shakespeare in the Park before, but I never attended their performances. Last weekend, they were right here, and Touhy Park, and also I had a friend visiting, so there was no excuse not to go (except for it was raining until alomost the preformance time!) Fortunately, it stopped raining, and the performance was not cancelled, and there was not a single drop of rain during the whole show.
I loved it!!! It was so authentic, brilliant in each and single detail: no amplification, of course, following the original script to the letter, accentinuating as I imaginge they did in the Globe, so that no one would have any doubt about heroes and villans, the costumes with just enough details, the music, and I can keep going!
After the play was over, I had one very distinct feeling: from now on, I will never be able to watch Shakespear plays any other way! My friend was overjoyed to see so many Black actors, and one lady from the audience told us, that she was an English major, and saw “As You Like It” at least fifteen times, but never-ever…
I know that at most ten persent of my readers click the links I share, but please-please-please, read their mission statement.
I want to say it was the worst summer weekend so far: barely 70 both days, pouring rain for half of Saturday, and strong winds both days. My friend from Oak Park visited me on Saturday; she always wants to sit by the lake, but there was no chance of that! At least the rain almost stopped by the time she arrived, and we walked to the lake to watch the waves.
I have a new colleague who was transferred to Chicago from our Montreal office. She is on a different team, but I helped her with some projects in the past, and she was ecstatic to see me in the cafeteria on her second day on the job.
Since this first day, she has asked me all things about Chicago, including where to move from her temporary housing, what to see, where to be, and so on. I told her she could come to our beach sometime, and since the forecast for the weekend was hopelessly cold and rainy, I suggested she follow me after work on Thursday. She did, and she loved Loyola Beach (she said it’s her favorite in Chicago so far, which I agree with (and she is also surprised that beaches are free).
She shares many observations with me about our office and how people work there. One thing she mentioned was about people being “too focused on work”, eating lunch at their desks, and in general being “heads down.” She mentioned that at the Montreal office, she would catch up with everyone first thing in the morning before diving into work.
I told her that I do not think it’s normal, and I do not approve of this eating lunch at your desk thing. Later, I thought it wasn’t normal in the US either, and I remember chatting with co-workers at all my jobs, except during my short tenure in trading, and that even in consulting we didn’t count eight hours as “eight hours head down.” And to be honest, I do not think it’s humanly possible to produce a quality outcome with more than seven hours “netto” working time, except in some extreme circumstances. What is true is that, as I mentioned multiple times, the work is very intense, more than anywhere I worked before, and eight hours of work drains me entirely.
I told my new colleague that she can always check with me and come down to my floor for lunch if everyone else eats at their desks 🙂
On Wednesday, my mom had an appointment at the hearing aid lab. She started to complain that she was hearing worse a couple of weeks ago. Since I suspected that the problem was most likely with the hearing aid, not with her hearing, I started by calling the lab and asking them whether it made sense to see them first before sending her to the audiologist one more time. They agreed that the problem was most likely with the hearing aid, so I scheduled an appointment at the time when her caretaker usually comes. She started to insist that I need to go with her, but I told her I would go if/when we need to go to the doctor. The next day, she told me that the appointment is too early, and she won’t be able to get up and leave the house at that time, or she will faint on the way. I replied that that was her regular time of leaving the house, and that if it were later, she would miss her lunch and faint from hunger. I also scheduled an Uber so that they could leave the house thirty minutes later.
It was indeed a dirty filter, and it is probably on me that I never learned how to change them and left this knowledge with Igor, who used to go to these appointments with her. Now, I googled it! And I ordered replacement filters. I might have thrown the old ones away last time.
The next day, my mom emailed me at 3 PM that she was devastated because she lost one of her hearing aids when she took the garbage out, and he already traced her steps, and the device is nowhere, and all other horrors. I told her to check her clothes or wherever it might fall. In 30 minutes, she emailed me that she swept the floor, didn’t find anything, but then she saw the hearing aid on her bed 🤷🏻♀️. Do not ask. Another thing I can’t understand is that, after she had already found it, she said she was so nervous she couldn’t eat or do anything. And this disaster continued into today, because when I came, she yelled at me, saying I didn’t understand how stressful the event was. Once again – 🤷🏻♀️
A very cool and fun article about the importance of remembering your achievements: Your Brain Forgets Your Wins. I can’t say enough how important it is to remember what you’ve done well; your wins, not your failures.
I felt very bad about never attending Customer Appreciation events at my wealth management company, so when they announced an event at the venue within a ten-minute walk from my office, I felt compelled to RSVP yes.
Except for a couple of amazing shots of Chicago at sunset, it was 100% wasted time, even though I spoke with my portfolio manager and some people in his network.
***
Thursday escort was a complete crisis again. I was a team lead for the early morning shift, and there were just three of us (and one texted that she was running late). That’s already a challenge when there are six antis out, because the moment the second car with a patient stops, you do not have enough bodies to protect patients.
Having nurses being dropped off with the accompaniment of “stop murdering babies,” and wondering why they have to cross the front line every morning…
And then getting a message in the middle of the workday about a new nasty group of antis. And domestic violence. And “horrible people.” And guns. And cops. And “if you can come, come”. Putting the vest back on in the elevator. Running down, and running two blocks south. Cops. Crying woman. Leaving forty minutes later since it looked like they all left, only to receive a message five minutes later that they were still around…
***
My new coworker, whom I texted yesterday with a suggestion to go to the beach after work, responded while I was in the middle of the aforementioned crisis, so I didn’t even see her messages among the others. She accepted my crazy idea, even though she was working from home, and we decided on the meeting time. She came to Jarvis; we stopped at my house so that I could change, and we could grab the beach chairs, and then we walked to Loyola Beach.
She loved it! She said that was the best beach in Chicago she had visited so far! She loved how calm things are here (and you know I love it as well!). We spent an hour and a half at the beach; I never stay at the beach that long on workdays. And then I walked her to the bus stop and made sure she got on, and she said that when her family will be visiting, she will bring them that beach, for sure!
Hettie's Reflections 