I saw people at all the beaches last Sunday while my mom and I were in an Uber on our way to the CSO concert. Not only were each beach we passed filled with people, but I swear that each piece of concrete which was close enough to the lake had at least one person sitting on it :).
Unfortunately, I didn’t have time to go to the beach on Sunday, but on Monday, when I was walking from my mom’s house to my house, I stopped at Loyola Leone beach and touched the water for the first time this season 🙂
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Everything is on bloom along the Lakefront Trial
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Peach blossoms delivered with my CSA box
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Also, today was Earth Day. Last year, the weather on this day was very gloomy and wet, and also, it was too close to the conference, so I ended up not doing any community cleanup. This year, I saw a workday at the Leone Beach Nature Area. Sensing that it might be one of the very few opportunities for me to do something nature-related, I signed up.
We put new mulch over the pedestrian paths. I didn’t have time to take a picture while we were working, but I took one when I walked to my mom’s house later today.
A middle-aged white man with a ponytail was playing a guitar and singing on the platform. I always appreciate it when street performers do not use amplifiers or recorded accompaniment, so I reached into my backpack for a dollar bill.
Only then did I read a sign attached to his bag: No Tips Please.
Yesterday, I stopped by my mom’s to tell you about my second cousin’s death. I sort of expected the reaction that followed, but still, given how she always tells us how nervous she gets when she doesn’t hear from someone and how we should keep her informed, it’s a bit inconsistent.
She made sure she understood me correctly, asking me to repeat who died. I told her that yes, David Raskin had passed away, and we were not informed. She said: Well, Alla (his widow) could have sent me an email! I told her that Alla was found unconscious on the floor and was taken to a hospital, to a cardio clinic, and she didn’t even ask how Alla was. Neither did she ask when exactly David passed away, nor what the cause of death was. She was just very sad, he was the last relative, but oh well, what happened can’t be changed. Now, can you look at this message on my phone?
The situation in Russia is pretty hopeless because there are people whose only goal is to find out how each situation could benefit them, and they do not care about other people, other people’s feelings, preserving memories, or pretty much anything except their own gains. The only thing I was able to negotiate was “putting aside papers that look old.” I will try to put together a list of things that I want to keep, if possible, but I have no idea whether I will be able to take anything away.
There was one more CSO concert on Sunday, the one where I took my mom. I used to purchase a separate matinee subscription for her, but I know that no matter what she says, it is becoming difficult for her to attend the events often. Besides, to be completely honest, going with her is not more entertainment for me, but a difficult job.
She used to enjoy the music, but now she always says that she was looking at the musician’s hands rather than listening, and I feel a little bit resentful spending money on the tickets when she is not really engaging in the show. That would be OK, as long as she’s saying she enjoys time with me, but also, she keeps saying unpleasant things about everyone: a conductor, musicians, patrons, and staff. She recognizes many musicians, and she has some opinions on their character, which I have no idea how she got. Most frequently it’s “he always thinks too high of himself, he likes to show off: look at me, I am so great!” I think that most likely it’s because when she sees people on the stage smiling, she does not understand why 🤷🏻♀️. She also comments on everyone clothing, body sizes, hairstyles, etc, and always asks “what is the nationality of this artist,” and get upset when I tell her I have no idea.
The concert was very good, and I hoped that the program which contained several smaller pieces will be better for her to stay focused. Unfortunatley, the seats I got where on the side, rather than in the center, so she had trouble capturing the sound, and also she could not see the musicians hands, so she didn’t like it that much. She could see the conductor, which partially compensated for the rest 🙂 .
On Friday, I left work earlier to take a train to Milwaukee to pick up Nadia and Kira. I planned to work on the train and at Anna’s house so that I wouldn’t miss more work, but when I walked out of the office and looked at my phone, I saw the email notifying me about the death of my second cousin, and then I had to make calls, send emails, and just process what had happened. And then I had to switch gears completely and be present for the girls.
It was a very good visit. I am glad that I left early and we could take Borealis back; this way, the girls were not super tired when we arrived home, and there were no unnecessary fights.
We had ice cream before bed, breakfast sandwiches in the morning, and then went to the CSO for Kids concert. This time, it was “The Bremen Town Musicians.” I hope that they record these kids’ shows, where the 45 minutes are packed with classical pieces in an amazingly dense manner. The music from the recording below is played in the beginning of each concert, and after a couple of repetitions, the kids know it by heart.
Anna arrived and met us after the concert. We went to Lea Cafe for lunch (I am so glad everyone likes it the way I do!).
Then we headed back to Rogers Park. The girls and I went straight to the beach, and Anna went to my mom’s house, and then they met us there.
Going to the beach playground was a great idea! The girls took all the sand toys from my house and built sand castles.
Being by the lake felt so good, and it felt like summer would actually happen (you might start to doubt the latter one!). Nadia went close to the water almost immediately and stayed there looking at the horizon. Then both of the girls took their boots off and said that they wanted to feel the sand with their feet. It was far from being warm on Saturday, and I could not imagine how one could feel “good” being barefoot in this weather, but they apparently enjoyed it!
That was the highligh of my weekend, the rest was my endless community work and coming to terms with a loss.
When I go to early morning escorting shifts, I leave the house at 5:50 – 5:55, so that I am on the train at 6 AM, but on Friday, I left the house just five minutes later and had to wait for the next train.
Also, my pro-choice buttons are always pinned to my escorting vest, because otherwise, I often forget them. On Friday, I just pulled my pink vest out of the closet to tuck it into my backpack when I remembered that we are now supposed to wear rainbow vests on weekdays, and the pink ones – only on Saturdays. I unpinned my buttons from the pink vest and almost put them in the pocket, but since I wore a hoodie with very wide-open pockets, I thought they could fall out, so I decided to pin them to the front of my hoodie (just until I get to a clinic).
So I walked on the CTA platform with my buttons pinned at my breast, and with the train just left, and slowly walked to the front. There was a young woman, also staying at the front, who passed me to throw away a can, then passed me again and asked, “Excuse me, can I ask you something?” I saw your buttons. Do you have anything to do with clinic escorts? And I replied: Yes, I am one of them! And I am going to the escort shift right now. And then she asked: ” How can I join clinic escorts? I wanted to do this for years, but I didn’t know how!” I told her: You need to go through the training, and then you can sign up for shifts. But before I connect you to our team leader, let’s talk!
She was a teacher, and she taught in Chinatown, so until I got off at Lake, we talked non-stop. She kept saying: I am so glad I asked! And I kept saying: I am so glad I had my buttons on, once in a year! We’ve exchanged emails, and I introduced her to our team lead, and she signed up for training. I hope she will be a good addition to our team!
My second cousin, my only relative who was still in Russia and with whom I communicated on a regular basis, passed away.
I was not notified until the day he was cremated, but it is what it is, and I can’t change it. But besides that, this whole situation is one big horror story. I do not have the mental energy to talk about details, but I will post more soon. It’s just something that appeared out of nowhere and altered my trajectory, and even though I already learned that there is nothing I can do (interfere in the current situation, where I have tons of concerns), I am still having a hard time accepting “nothing I can do.”
As it sometimes happens, I learned about this book because the Chicago Public Library announced a meeting with the author. I knew I wouldn’t be able to come because it was the day we did the egg coloring at ODS, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to join on Zoom, but I also knew that the livestream would be saved on the Library YouTube channel, so I bookmarked it. I tried to put a hold on the audiobook in the library, but there were over 100 people ahead of me, so I purchased the book and started listening, and actually finished it before March 31!
If you just watch the video, you might get the impression that Misty is mostly focused on Taylor Swift, but there is way more to it in the book! She speaks about all the well-known things which other authors mention (and which I cited from other books), like the “opportunity cost,” and how women with small children still choose to work even if the cost of the daycare consumes all of their earnings, because otherwise they would decrease their future earnings and chances of future promotion. She says that although “ordinary” women can’t afford what Taylor Swift can in terms of childcare, traveling with children, etc., she demonstrates what things should be, and what every woman should expect from society.
Also, I like how the book is structured, how it puts things into perspective, connects the dots, and also, how actionable it is.
I am not saying its a must-read, but if you pick it up, I hope you enjoy it!
My colleague from London just share with me his photos from our Sunday excursion, and most of his pictures are really great, so i told him I am going to steal them and share 🙂
I have so many things going on, and so many things I am behind on, that I worry about them all the time, and barely posted anything here for almost a week. If I didn’t mention anything happening on any particular day, it means that on that day I came home from work and started crossing the things off my list; mainly different tasks, big and small, related to the conference and to the meetup, and kept doing it until late.
On Wednesday, I visited a potential new venue for our meetups. I liked what I saw a lot, but things are still in the making, and I do not want to share until they materialize.
On Thursday, I finally went to the early morning escorting shift after a long winter break, and then went to the ACM meetup after work. The meetup went well, although there were way fewer people than I expected (probably because we didn’t have pizza :)).
Then, it was Good Friday, which we have off, and I took a super-early train to Milwaukee (and I already posted about it). We had a good time there, but the weather was really bad both Friday and Saturday. I returned to Chicago on Saturday morning and walked to Lea to have breakfast there (I needed something to compensate for the cold and rain!)
Then I returned home and did the conference things until evening, almost non-stop, until it was time to go to see mom and to take her to Above the Law theater. I really like Above the Law, and they did great with “Cyrano,” but my mom was in a really bad mood and yelled at both Igor and me (and she kept doing it since then!)
On Saturday evening, our co-workers from the London office landed in Chicago, and I took them touring the city on Sunday. It was still cold, but at least sunny and no rain, and it became warmer later in the day, so we had a great time overall, and I could show them a lot!
(They still owe me my pictures, so I will post more when I have them!)
And once again, I came back home from our touring day, and started emailing/discussing/posting to speakers, volunteers, and attendees, and it feels like I will never be able to complete all the tasks I need to complete!
All this week, there will be meetings at work, and a lot of collaboration, and I still need to execute on one million community things, and I am still nervious about all of them, and about not enough conference advertisement, and mom still yells at everyone, but I have no time to be upset about it!
Hettie's Reflections 