Hettie’s Reflections – Blog Posts

Muti

On Tuesday, I went to the CSO concert one more time, and this time, it was with my neighbor, and it was a long-awaited concert with Ricardo Muti!

We were sitting in the first row, and we heard and saw everything, and it was so astonishingly, incredibly good! Jessie Montgomery was present in the audience, and she came on stage after her piece was performed, and the audience exploded with applause!

I realized that I didn’t hear Ricardo Muti conducting for a while, and I realized that I had missed this experience. It continues to surprise me that even going to these concerts after long work days does not make me feel tired, but just the opposite!

Mother’s Day And Mom

I wanted to do something more interesting than having coffee together for Mother’s Day, so I got the tickets to CSO for Renee Fleming and Eugeny Kissin’s concert. At the beginning of the season, I booked several tickets for Sunday matinees to take mom, but I had to return half of them because of scheduling conflicts. When I saw that concert, I thought there was no way thee ae any decent tickets left, but to my surprise, I was able to get two tickets, if not in the first row, still pretty close to the stage. Then I thought that I was not even going to try to make any dinner reservations because it would be impossible to get anything for Mother’s Day. Again, to my surprise, Forte was wide open, so I got the reservation right after the concert.

Overall, things were good. Mom complained about all the usual stuff but within average :). Unfortunately, one more time, I tried to reason with her when she told me that “here” things are different, and “back at home,” they would always announce the performers and the pieces, and she would not take my reminders that it was always the case at the classical music concerts. I blamed myself for getting into the arguments, but overall, she enjoyed herself.

I have weekly sessions with a therapist now, and these sessions helped me to realize that whatever I am doing and how I am talking to mom won’t change the speed of her decline; it will take its own course. I know that when I start reasoning with her and call for logic, it never ends up good; it makes bother me and her upset. So I am trying not to contradict her and not to argue, just to let it go.

I think that if I learn to control myself most of the time, it will be better for both of us. It’s along the lines of me stopping trying to fix everything and let things be the way they are.

Today’s good news: I finally got in touch with a Russian-speaking case manager, and she gave me a lot of good advice and reassured me that we will be able to resolve all the things related to mom that I am struggling with right now. That was very encouraging and really elevated my spirits.

Now, both mom and I need to focus on her citizenship interview that is scheduled for next week. She is panicking that she might forget some answers or not understand some questions, and I am panicking that she might start Putin’s propaganda… We have a weekend to rehearse, and I need to find and print all her documents, and a copy of her application. Hopefully, all goes well!

I Am Glad I Am Here!

Last week was two years since I moved to Rogers Park. Since then, I have changed jobs three times and had a lot of ups and downs, but one thing is for sure: I am so glad I moved! I enjoy coming back home, I enjoy walking the neighborhood, and that’s my home for real.

Elementary School In The Soviet Union, p.2

For the first three years of school, all the classes were held in the same room, except for PE and singing. Even in the first grade, the desks in the classroom were arranged the same way as in high school, three columns with six desks in each, with two students sitting at one desk. I know it is hard to believe now, but at seven, I was relatively tall for my age, so my place was in the fifth (out of six) row in the right column. My neighbor was a girl named Sonia Skorpileva. She was taller than me, clumsy, with messy hair and a leaking fountain pen. We all were as cruel as seven-year-olds could be and made fun of her. Unfortunately, the teachers often supported such behavior, publicly shaming the students for even minor mishaps. For example, on the days when we wore white aprons, we were also supposed to have white ribbons in our braids (and black or brown ribbons on regular days). One girl (and I even remember her name, Natasha Ponasenkova) had purple ribbons. Although it was our first First Day of School, our teacher called her out, put her in front of the class, and allowed everybody to laugh at her for these purple ribbons. And then she told her to tell her mom that the ribbons had to be white. She was a very pretty girl, but we never acknowledged that since she was from a “troubled family.”

Since the very first day of school, it was expected that we sit still for all forty-five minutes of each period. We were almost never allowed outside during the break, even though the school had a courtyard.

After a month or two, the teacher started grading both our classwork and homework. The grading scale was from 1 to 5, but 1 (“very bad”) was almost never used, 2 was already “bad” or “unsatisfactory.” Starting from the second quarter, we had “quarterly report cards,” which mostly presented the mean of all the grades one would receive in class through the quarter. At the end of the first quarter, all of us became Young Octobrists, the communist organization for kids aged from seven to nine. All Young Octobrists wore a pin on the left side of the chest: a small plastic or metallic start with the portrait of Lenin at the age of five in the middle. The name “Octobrists” (Oktiabriata in Russian) referred to the “October Revolution.” Since in 1917, the official calendar used in the Russian Empie was the Julian Calendar, all the dates were two weeks behind the rest of the world, thereby the Revolution happened on October 25, not on November 7. Although Russia switched to the Gregorian calendar in February 1918, by that time, the Revolution was already called “the October Revolution,” or “The Great October Socialist Revolution,” or simply “The Great October.” It was too late to change the trademark, so it continued this way. So, we all were “Young Octobrists” and wore these “Octobrists’ pins” on the left.

I know that all I am describing sounds pretty dull, but I didn’t think my life was boring or uninteresting at the time. My old post with the home movies covers the second half of the first grade, and there are lots of fun activities!

My historical posts are being published in random order. Please refer to the page Hettie’s timeline to find where exactly each post belongs and what was before and after.

New Planting Season

Even though I have no time and no car, and nurseries do not do deliveries, and even the water in our courtyard – what can stop me?

Morning Biking

A swimmer!!!

What I Liked About Yestreday

It’s not necessarily that I managed to squeeze in so many activities in one day. It’s not about numbers. It’s about the fact that throughout the whole day, I did what I wanted, things that were important to me and that I didn’t want to miss.

And also – I had many people’s interactions. I talked to the people in my neighborhood, and that’s what I didn’t do enough recently, especially because the winter was long and the spring was cold.

I talked to the florist from whom I bought the annuals for my balcony, I talked to many vendors at the crafts fair, I talked to the artists in the Greenleaf Center, and to the people at Grant Park.

Funny thing. I felt like I spent tons of money during the day because I bought from so many vendors. But when I sat down in the evening to record all my spendings I realized that it was way less than I thought. I believe it’s because all the interactions, whether I purchased something or not, were meaningful.

Chicago, Join The Effort To Save Ukrainian Children!

Saturday – As Planned!

That’s the most amazing fact about today – I did pretty much everything I wanted, and som more!

Long (ish) bike ride in the morning:

My cleaning lady came to wash the windows, and this year, we were also to open all of them. While she was washing the windows, I did a big portion of my emails and started my submissions to PG Conf NYC. Then I went down to Jarvis square fair and bought a lot of plants for my balcony and for our courtyard vegetable garden. Then I hung out for a little bit at the fair, chatted with the neighbors who also went down there, bought a crazy artisan doughnut

and hurried to the Abortion Protection rally (and finished my conference submissions on the CTA)

After the rally was over, I went straight to the Switch on Summer event (Switching on the Buckingham fountain). Last year, I came there too early and as a result, didn’t stay till the actual turning on the fountain (it was too hot). This time, I came at about 1-15, and it was perfect!

Continue reading “Saturday – As Planned!”

Sleep

For the past three or four months, I have been making an effort to sleep more. I had a feeling that recently, my five-and-half hours were not enough anymore, and for the longest time, I had a battle with myself to get six hours of sleep every night. I rarely succeeded (except for when in Finland), but I kept trying. I thought I managed to do it rarely often and was surprised to see that my Apple watch rarely tells me that I met my sleep goal.

A couple of days ago I finally decided to look at the stats in the Health app, and I found out that the length of my sleep didn’t change for the past two years! When I was trying to sleep more, I ended up having more time “in bed”, but exactly the same sleep time, which is something like 5 hours and 15 or 20 minutes.

Now I am going to stop trying because lying in bed and not doing anything is a complete waste of time! (Sleep is a waist of time in general, but even my body needs some :))