Category: everyday life

Work- Life Balance, And What’s Not

Last week, our CTO asked the tech leadership team to estimate the percentage of all work time we spend on the following categories: the actual management, routine work and processes, and project work. 

I was in Helsinki at that moment, and since I had some extra time< and Boris was there, I decided to approach this task creatively. 

We had different views on what should be considered the project work and whatnot, but in the end, I decided to count as project work only the code writing and coming up with ideas on how to do certain things. I classified all the project planning, discussions with businesses, etc. as management. 

To calculate the percentage of each activity, I needed to calculate the number of hours I spent on each of them. Since I had time, I didn’t just estimate, but I looked at the three previous weeks and calculated the average numbers. 

It turned out that I work 55 hours a week, and I could not believe that number when I saw it. I always thought that if I worked during the after-hours, that’s because I spent some time during the workday for some non-work things. No wonder I felt so tired in the past weeks, and no wonder I felt that I need some vacation, And no wonder I did pretty much nothing in Helsinki. 

All of the above might explain my reaction to the “Laziness Does Not Exist” book. These past three weeks were the weeks when we finished working on the book, and immediately all the extra time I had was taken by work, and that was not right. A side note: when I calculated the total number of hours I work, I included the “natural time waste,” which totals to about an hour a day: sort intervals between meeting, coffee, and bathroom breaks, stretches, and other small distractions. They are essential for your normal functioning, and thereby should not be subtracted from the work time. 

It’s not that I never knew all that. I knew, and I was encouraging other people to not overwork. But for some reason, I always thought that “this does not apply to me.” Because I am passionate about my work, because this is not hard for me, because I am a superhuman, and for whatever other reasons. 

I am trying to change it now, and I realized that I need to advocate for myself the same way I advocate for others. 

Maid: A Book Review

This is not the real review, just the short note, since I want to mention this book to my friends who are following what I read.

Another book I finished last week, was Maid by Stephanie Land.You might want to say that “that’s what Barbara Ehrenreich wrote about in “Nickled and Dimed,” except for (as she herself said in the foreword) that’s FOR REAL. Stephanie is not role-playing. it’s not a game, it’s survival.

Working hard is not enough. Working multiple jobs is not enough. Trying your best is not enough

My takeaway from this book is: people who are struggling, need help. They need help from organizations, funds, and people. From individuals. Otherwise, survival mode will stay forever.

Laziness Does Not Exists: A Book Review

I especially liked the first half of the book. I’d say I would give 5 stars to the first four chapters and four stars for the rest. I felt like the second half was partially repeating the first, and at the same time, it felt less convincing and slightly off-topic. But what I just said does not diminish the fact that this book is AWESOME! For me, it was also extremely timely – just when I felt completely burned down.
Interestingly, I knew most of the things this book is talking about many years ago. I knew that even when we have an 8-hour workday, the actual time we can produce the intellectual results is not more than four hours a day. I knew that switching from time to time your attention to something which is not “work” helps the thinking process. I knew that when you work too much and too hard, your body becomes less immune and more prone to all sorts of illnesses.
I knew it all, but after I joined my current company, where I really wanted to do all the things I wanted, and it was too much of these things, I started to think that if it is not “somebody” which makes me work more, but I, then “it does not count.” I do not know whether anybody can make any sense out of the last sentence :), but at least I know what I meant to say :))

Another thought which resonated with me a lot was about “me” and “everybody else.” Devon Price says that most of the people he interviewed for this book would agree that “people in general” are not lazy, but they would say: but I am REALLY lazy. For me, it was “nobody has to work overtime, and it is unproductive anyway,” but “I” CAN work long hours, because “I” have a very special attitude, and since I WANT it, not like somebody MAKES me, I will be productive. Maybe now that timing was right, but I took it in this time. Even before I finished the book, I resolved to make changes to the way I work now, monitor how many hours I spend working, and not allow my direct reports and people around me to work long hours. It is unproductive and sometimes dangerous.

And the final takeaway from this book was about stopping “saving” people. Once again, I knew for a while that I rush into “saving” people way too often. Recently, I started to distinguish between people who need just a little push or simply encouragement and people who need me to listen to their complaints about everything that goes wrong with their lives. It’s nothing wrong with complaining; I just started to realize that there are people who are not looking for ways to improve their situation but need to complain just for the sake of complaining.

To summarize, by the time I turned the last page, I had a whole bunch of resolutions, and I also liked the author’s personality and writing style a lot!

Vlad Is Going Back To School

Vlad applied to Augustana college to finish his degree, which he abandoned eight years ago. What happened then is a long story that will probably be told at some point. The only thing I want to tell now is that nothing in his current career depends on this classic major, and nobody ever reprimanded him for not making this final push. 

In my view, the only reason he wanted to receive a diploma is that this was an unfinished project. And the major obstacle for the past several years was that if he would choose to do this, he will have to put the rest of his life on pause for three months. 

Now, with the remote learning and temporal indoor dining closer, everything suddenly falls in place. 

He applied for the federal loan, which was granted but didn’t cover all classes and fees. He shopped for a private loan, which would cover the rest, consulting with me on the way. At some point, I received an email from Augustana addressing me as “a parent of a student.” I messaged Vlad: what in the world is that?! And he was like, “sorry, mom, it looks like they still have my old records somewhere in the system; I will fix it. I am an independent student now.”

As usual, all these college tuition talks prompted me to think about several subjects. First, why it is only in the US that college costs what it does, why one class has to cost 7K+, and why higher education is almost free in the rest of the world. 

I know (and the only reason I know it is because my kids are so smart and resourceful) that there are relatively easy ways to significantly reduce your costs. And if anybody thinks that the fact that higher education is not free fosters more responsible behavior, they are wrong. It encourages opposite behavior. But the most frustrating fact is that all of these ways to reduce the costs are so non-obvious, so hidden! 

The above was the second topic. The third one is about who’s the responsibility it is? When I read the blogs of parents whose children are in the process of getting into college, I do not understand why it becomes parents’ responsibility rather than their almost adult children? I read about the Facebook groups of parents researching scholarships and admission requirements, and I do not get it. 

Also, I do not understand a desire to get children through college debt-free. I understand even less why so many parents see their financial assistance being a basis for dictating their college-age children which classes to take, how to behave, what is the minimal acceptable GPA, etc. 

I will stop here :). I will never understand most of the above :). And I am immensely happy that it was different with my children. 

The Message Which I Left To My Co-workers Today

Since we are celebrating Black History Month, I wanted to pass along some information about Chicago Neighborhoods. 

During the past year, several co-workers asked me about different Chicago neighborhoods, especially about their safety. I always have an uneasy time answering these questions because “safety” had become a loaded word in general, and especially in Chicago. The reality is more complicated than dichotomy safe/not safe, and for a while, I was thinking about ways to show these complexities in a way that would be easier than reading volumes of history books. 

My older son, who is a contributing reporter for Austin Weekly, has put together a list of articles that talk about different Chicago neighborhoods, their history, stigmas, and much more. 

Let’s talk about neighborhood stigma
Chicago and race: perception, polling, and reality
Urban Renewal and Gentrification in Chicago
Best of the SouthSide
Differential Pathways of Neighborhood Change and Perceived Neighborhood Reputation
The Woodlawn’s future

I am aware that nobody likes clicking the links, especially non-technical ones, but is it challenging to come up with a short essay on a complex topic. I hope you will find these links useful and educational and make this Black History Month more meaningful. 

P.S. I had received a record number of thanks!

P.P.S. Igor, if you will still be able to come up with something more compact, it would be great.

Mom Got Her First Shot!

So glad that Vlad was ready to take her there while I was away!

Vaccination One More Time

They called me three times on Friday! First, to confirm mom’s appointment for Monday. One more time, because they forgot to remind me that mom needs to bring her ID to verify her age so that she won’t be turned down. And the third time – from her doctor’s office, because they didn’t receive that information yet, and they wanted to make sure we know about the vaccination. It was very touching, but I can’t stop resenting it took so long to figure things out!

On the same day, I received a message from my health care provider that the vaccine is available to the patients and that everybody will be contacted individually when there will be a turn for their age group. Once again – great, but why in the world it took co long?!

Fixing Everything Broken

After almost two months of unsuccessful attempts to repair my under the sink cabinet, I finally found a person who fixed it and asked for only $20 for this job (I paid $30). The only other person who responded and came to take a look priced it for $75 at a minimum (“if there will be less than one hour work,” otherwise – twice as much). That was a happy moment amidst an otherwise miserable couple of weeks – all my attempts to secure this falling down board looked horrible. Even when nobody except for me could see it – I saw!

There was one more thing I needed to repair – the leaking sink in the first-floor half-bathroom. I didn’t notice for a while that it was leaking. When I realized the problem, there was already a lot of damage. However, the moment I realized it was mid-December when I could not take in anything extra. So I put several layers of the blue shop towels under the leaking pipe and left it until “after the holidays.” 

After the holidays, we had our virus disaster, and we were also finishing the book. It might sound unimaginable that I didn’t have time to repair the leaking pipe or to call somebody to come and fix it, but I was in a situation when I could not get any extra thought into my brain. Those who have been in a crisis situation will hopefully understand. 

When I finally put “fix this leaking pipe” into my weekend schedule, it was already mid -January. First, I tried to tighten the upper ring, but then I realized that the washers were worn out, and it was impossible to tighten it. Then I thought that if I put additional leak-protective tape over it, it will work, but it didn’t. I had to replace the drain and the tailpiece. 

I went to the ACE hardware, and first, pick the wrong part :). I went back, and this time, I picked the right one. Now, if you think about why I spent hours trying to do it myself when I had no time for anything, I can’t give a logical explanation. It’s just something about plumbing that since the kids were kids and lived at home, I believe that I should be able to resolve most of the plumbing issues myself. And through all these years, I was able to do many repairs, replacing many parts of that system. 

After spending hours, I finally connected everything, except for the lift-up rod, which kept sliding down. For some reason, I could not tighten the screw, which would keep it secured to one extra part connecting it to the pivot rode (I have no idea why this extra part was necessary). However, that was not the only problem. When I turned the water on, I realized that it still leaks a little bit.

That became really embarrassing: I spent hours trying to do it myself, and now I would have to call a plumber anyway!

When this handyman whom I asked to fix my under the sink cabinet showed up, I asked him if he was indeed not-do-any-plumbing, as he said when advertising his services. He said that he does not do “new stuff,” but “show me what the problem is.” I said that I am really embarrassed to have this problem, but.. He looked and asked whether I put any plumbing putty before installing the drain and started to explain what the plumbing putty is. I knew that I forgot to put the putty first, but I hoped I could get away without it. I had some plumbing putty, a little bit dried out but still usable. He said that I need to unscrew the ring, lift the drain, and insert a small putty ring. It didn’t work the first time, but then I managed to lift it up and afterward, tightened the ring really-really tight. After all, I was able to do it myself. Almost :))

The Weather And What’s Not

There was so much work at work for this whole week that I wanted to cry. I am reasoning with myself that by no means can I feel unhappy. There are way too many things that make me an exceptionally fortunate person, and I know that many people have real problems, so I should not complain. But I just felt very tired. I look back and do not understand where did the week go.
In the past several days, when I didn’t get a chance to write a single line here, the weather changed multiple times.

There were very snowy days, and I went sledding in the morning a couple of times. One morning, I had to clear my way.

Continue reading “The Weather And What’s Not” →

About The Vaccination

All this vaccination thing in the Northwest Suburban Cook County is so disorganized! I knew for several weeks that my mom is in the priority group 1b and will become eligible starting on January 25. The date was approaching, and nobody knew anything! All the officials were like, “please be patient!” And I am fine being patient, but I wondered why there couldn’t be a normal wait line like they have in Finland. 

There was literally no information at first. Then, the Tribune published the URL where everybody was supposed to register “to receive updates.” In Lake County, everybody could see their number in line, and even in Chicago, it seemed easier to find a slot. 

I messaged mom’s doctor in Access to Care, and they replied that they do not provide the vaccination yet and that I should try to sign up mom with Cook County. I did and received a UUID with which I could theoretically sign her up, but in both vaccination centers, all slots were full. At the alternative providers, the situation was the same. 

Also, they had endless lists of Walgreens, Jewel Oscos, and Walmarts, which would have the vaccine, but once again, “all slots full.” And what I do not understand is why they can’t have some centralized place to sign up for all Oscos or all Walgreens. Instead, you have to try to sign up with each store individually, only to find out that there are no slots available.

On Sunday, mom received an email from the NW Suburban Cook County Health Department that they have more doses and people can sign up. My understanding is that they sent this message to everybody who signed up to be in line, without any priorities. Because when mom forwarded this email to me, and I tried to sign her up, there were once again no slots available. 

In the city, the situation seems better, but you need to have a city zip code. Vlad, Igor, and I discussed whether we could pretend that mom lives with one of them :).

All of a sudden, today at midday, I received a message that Access To Care started to vaccinate and that mom can sign up. Which I immediately did, signing her for next Monday afternoon – the first appointment available. 

Now, I am cautiously optimistic, but I will believe it when I see it!