On family history, parenting, education, social issues and more
Author: Hettie D.
My name is Henrietta (Hettie) Dombrovskaya. I was born in Saint-Petersburg, Russian (actually, back then – Leningrad, USSR) in 1963, and immigrated to the United States in 1996.
I love Saint Petersburg, the city I was born and raised in, and I think it’s one of the most beautiful places in the world. Similarly (but differently) I love Chicago, and can’t imagine myself moving somewhere else in the observable future.
I have three children, Igor, Vlad and Anna, all adults living on their own, and one (so far) granddaughter Nadia. I also believe that my children are the best thing that happened in my life.
As for my professional life, I am working in the field of Information Technologies. When I was twenty, I’ve declared that the databases are the coolest thing invented and that I want to do them for the rest of my life. Thirty plus years later, I still believe it’s true, and still, believe that the databases are the best. These two statements together imply that I think a person can have it all, and indeed, I think so! Keep reading my journals to find out how I did it.
Mom turned eighty-eight on Tuesday. Since she always refused to celebrate her birthday before the actual birthday (the superstition that you can die not reaching it in this case), and since next weekend didn’t work either, Igor and I took her out on the day of her birthday.
Fortunately, since Igor discovered Eurasia cafe, we can always go there for the food that mom likes. We ordered several different Russian dishes, and gave her our presents, and everything was good. At leat, she seemed happy and thanked us. Although for the next two days, when I talk to her on the phone it sounds like she found some reason to be unhappy, but I am pretending I do not notice:).
I am very thiankful for the opportunity to host the January edition of PGSQL Phriday series. I hope that this series will continue and more people will join the discussions!
Thank you to everybody who contributed to the January PGSQL Phriday topic! I suggested “Postgres and Software Development,” while being very well aware that this topic is not popular in the PostgreSQL community. To be completely honest, I thought that it was possible that only Ryan Booz would contribute!
That being said – a big thank you to everyone who participated! Please find a summary of contributions below, and please let me know if I missed your post!
The first person to contribute was Andreas Scherbaum with his blog post PGSQL Phriday #004: PostgreSQL and Software Development. Andreas had a huge advantage as he could summarize the information from over 140 interviews he conducted for his “PostgreSQL person of the week” series. His blog post mainly focuses on what people are saying about the development for PostgeSQL – patch submissions and other details of how PostgreSQL…
That was my last summer before school, and that summer, I was not sent to a dacha with detsky sad, and I didn’t go to the sanatorium. Instead, it was the first of many summers I spent in Estonia, in Narva-Joesuu. When I published my old home movies, I talked about that time here. I know that my father’s side of the family spent summers there for many years before that. My great-grandfather (the father of my father’s mother, David Solomonovich Levitin died there and was buried at the local cemetery. As I mentioned earlier, I know that I spent at least some part of my very first simmer there, and I have no idea what happened later and why I never went there for seven years.
These questions didn’t bother me back then, though. For most of the summer, I was there with my great aunt Fania, whom I called granma (baba) in the absence of an actual grandma. As I mentioned earlier, my great uncle Mish and his wife Nadia rented another room in the same house. In contrast to baba Fania, uncle Misha, eight years younger than her, didn’t like being perceived as a “grandpa,” so I called him uncle. His wife Nadia was even more concerned with looking younger than she was, and I called her aunt. I know that the rest of the family just barely tolerated aunt Nadia. I do not know the actual reason, but I remember that she was criticized for exactly that: behaving as a grand dame, taking good care of herself, etc. In the pictures below, she helps me to get into the “bridge” position (remember my PE/figure skating?). Since uncle Misha was 58 at that time, she should have been fifty-something and looked outrageously good for her age (by that time’s standards).
It was another extremely productive week. Still, many people at work were on vacation, and although many questions and issues required my intervention, I had long periods when I could focus on my big projects or debus something complex.
Also, I kept a list of my tiny “do-to” things that must be done at some point – everyone has such a list! I managed to cut it dramatically during the first week of the New Year. I dare to say I did everything I planned:).
I keep thinking about how fortunate I am with my job, where my knowledge and skills are so much needed, and people treat me with respect and appreciate my community work as well. It feels good every day, and I am counting my blessings.
My list for this weekend was modest because the workweek was productive, but I had three huge items on my agenda: to take off all Christmas decorations, take off all tree ornaments, pack everything, and put it back into storage. And it took pretty much the whole day (except for talking to Boris and visiting mom). It sounds right because decorating took many hours as well:). When I decorate house my house for Christmas, it is one of the most joyful things because it makes my place magical. And when I take the decorations down, it feels like: Ok, the holidays are over, and it’s time to dive into life, into the new year, into all new things I want to do.
And once again, looking back at 2022, it was just an outstanding year for my professional development, although war dominates all aspects of life. And once again, I am not depressed because of the war. I am angry but also very active and productive.
The last glance at my holiday cards before I pack them, sign the year, and put away – Thirty-four this year!
That is – about people in Russia who are not just silent but actively and voluntarily support the aggression. And I know that those of my friends who stay sane amongst this insanity are as horrified as me, only, unlike me, they have to live to face this insanity every day.
And once again, I can’t stop thinking about where I would be if… I recall the conversations I had with my friends sometime in 1980 or 81. I think I already mentioned that, and I want to repeat it again: at that time, most of us didn’t have good feelings toward Jews who were emigrating. We thought that they were cowards and wanted the easy life, and didn’t think about the consequences of their departure for those who stayed (the latter was true).
I was in love with L. (he liked me but didn’t love me and gently tried to push me away), and his family obtained the vise and were getting ready to go to Israel. L. didn’t want to go. He was eighteen and told us he would rather stay and go to Afghanistan than join the Israeli army.
I clearly remember that that’s what he said, and that’s what we all thought, and we hated his parents for not understanding such an obvious thing.
What was I thinking? What all of us were thinking? When I shared these horrific memories with Boris, he said that at least the Soviets didn’t launch missiles against Afghans. OK, they used other weapons. But that’s why I kept thinking: what was wrong with me? And those few Russian people who understand – I really admire them because I have no idea how they managed to stay human, and I am afraid I would not measure up if I were there.
There are people who understand that standing for your country’s independence is not an act of war and that Russia initiated the war, not the other way around, but there are so few of them!
My tree will come down on the upcoming weekend but I still receive Christmas mail! Looks like the flight cancellations and the rest of the mess right before Christmas also affected mail delivery, and my parcel from Germany sat in ORD for at least a week!
I finally received it yesterday!
There is such a variety of cookies, and the ones I tasted are awesome, and out of twenty, only one broke!
Here is a Christmas card from Japan, which also made it this week:
Also, a card from one of my few still-sane Russian friends made it to that side of the pond! It looked like it crossed the Atlantic swimming on its own, so the card itself was almost destroyed, but the ornament inside survived, and I hung it on my Christmas tree:
I am going to take the last picture of my cards display on Saturday, before removing them and storing them.
Hettie's Reflections 