All Is Right

And all of a sudden, the rush is over. I can’t stop smiling since last evening.
I had just two and a half workdays this week – we were dismissed at 1 PM yesterday, and since more than half of the company is on vacation, plus we have a code freeze, I was able to do work at work! That felt great – I was able to close all my tickets for the current sprint, the first time in I do not know how long!

Granted, there is still a lot of work with the book, we have ten days to finish, and there is still a substantial amount of writing. However, since I have so many days off, I am confident we will finish on time.

Yesterday, I stopped at the post office to drop off my cookies. Like with my nail spa and physical therapy, I packed small individual boxes rather than one box or a tray. I chose really pretty cookies for them because shipping for many years, I know first-hand how hard they work and how under-appreciated they are.

Their supervisor was on the shift, and I stopped aside, waited for a customer to complete their transactions, and told her: that’s for you guys, thank you!!! She was so happy I can’t even describe it:).

And then when we were dismissed after 1 PM, I realized that I could actually stop working because all is done, and I do not need to finish work after-hours. I talked with Boris for an hour; he kept asking whether I still have time or I need to run, and I kept telling him that I do have time. Although we still talk every day, it was mostly essential communication for the past two weeks, and I always had a hard stop.

And then I went downstairs to my living room and sat down on the floor in front of the fireplace. And listened to all my clocks ticking. I looked at all my lights. And I felt immense happiness. I thought about me not having Christmas for half of my life and how happy it makes me have it now. How easy it is t make your place bright and beautiful, and how could anybody choose not to have Christmas! (that was an after-thought following one online exchange about having “dead trees” at home).

All is good, all is right, and I am so fortunate to have all I have. I was surprised how happy I can be being alone for both Christmas Eve and Christmas, but I am genuinely happy.

In the evening, I completed one very important project. Among my old Christmas ornaments, I have a string of beads from 1959. I always put it on the tree, but this year the string finally gave in. I managed to catch the beads and prevent them from falling off completely, but I didn’t have time to put them a new string with my December rush.

I did it yesterday, and surprisingly for me, it felt like a very solemn activity, like some religious rite: pulling from the old string, one by one, and adding to the new one.