State of Mind, State of Health, State of Body, State of Finances, State of the State of Illinois

Today is May 1st, and the weather was gorgeous. I will do my best not to write about what I didn’t do today, but instead, to write about something I did :).

This week, I started to wear contact lenses again. On Tuesday, there were eight weeks past my second cataract surgery, and by all medical advice, I could start. I was freaking out because the implants are so close to the surface, I can see them. And I only started to wear soft contacts in October, and then stopped at the end of January, so I am not very skilled with them. Taking them off is the scariest thing because you almost scratch the eye. Besides, my eyes are still dry after the surgery, 

I started from just two hours on Tuesday and wore them for eight hours today. Some days, I can’t put on or take off one of the contacts for a very long time, but overall, things are fine. The only weird thing is that my close vision is way worse in the contacts than in glasses. 

Unfortunately, my eye doctor won’t start seeing patients in May, which means I won’t have a better prescription for a while.  

Another week of physical therapy is over. Once again, same as last year, I feel tremendous improvement, but “the thing is still there,” and I can’t forget that “I have that.” I hope that I will be able to get back to how I felt in fall 2019 when there were weeks during which I could almost forget I have “that.” One more week is approved by the insurance, and I might do a week or two out of pocket if I feel it would help. 

Financially, I closed the books on April today. The twenty percent salary decrease didn’t hurt yet, because I was doing one small side job, but now it is over, and the next month will be a real decrease. Mom’s lease renewal was on April 1st, and the rent increased as usual. But overall, I should be in the budget. 

It was funny to see how my spendings changed in March and April. In March, I had a considerable increase in food spendings, at least forty percent above my average, which means even if I was not hoarding, I was changing my shopping habits :). In April, it was still above average, but somewhat less, about twenty percent. 

Also, in March, my spending on all kinds of household supplies doubled and went almost back to normal in April. All expenses on theaters/concerts/other leisure/ turned to zero, but spendings on books/audio materials, etc. increased more than twice. 

The numbers in Illinois are growing, and I am jealous of other states and countries who’s numbers of active cases, and daily new cases decrease. At some point, it looked promising, but now I do not know what to think. 

Oh, and also today, we had two hundred people demonstrating by the Thompson Center demanding “to open Illinois.” It breaks my heart when I think what a beautiful day it would be if not pandemic. That is such a wonderful, such a meaningful holiday. I would take time off in the middle of the day to cheer the Downtown rallies. 

I am doing lots of things, and most of the time, my mind is focused on something productive. But sometimes, there are these moments. The moments when I think that I will never see Boris in the flesh again; that I won’t be there for Anna and the new baby when they need it. Then moments when I miss people and places badly. And then there are moments when I feel calm and thankful that the sun is shining, that everybody is alive and well, and everybody is employed, and even my mom received a stimulus check yesterday :). 

As my yoga teacher says, “let’s enjoy this beautiful calm state of mind as long as possible!”

2 thoughts on “State of Mind, State of Health, State of Body, State of Finances, State of the State of Illinois

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