Hettie’s Reflections – Blog Posts

More on Summer 1963

I found more pictures form summer 1963, the same summer, the same place, the same people. Just wanted to keep all these old photos at one place. When I was a child, I didn’t think of them more than just “these are my baby pictures, ” but now I view them as historical documents, since they’ve captured so many signs of the epoch 🙂

With Aunt Kima. It strikes me, that she is only 39 years old on these pictures.
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Madeleine Albright. Fascism: A Warning. Book Review

Madeleine Albright was the first Secretary of State I saw in action after I immigrated to the US. From the first time I heard her speaking, I had the deepest admiration of her as a political leader and a person. Somehow I didn’t come across her books earlier, but now I’ve downloaded several, and I am going to listen to all of them.

On the topic of the book “Fascism,” I think Albright has a unique perspective as a person who experienced the fascist’s regimes as a child and later had to interact (or oppose) them as a political leader. Her attitude is personal, and it could not be any other way.

I read a number of good reviews of this book (as always, only after I finished reading), and I am not going to repeat them, just a couple of additional notes. First, I found it very important that Albright speaks of many countries, which demonstrate the signs of fascism in their domestic policies. We often think that the potential threats are the same old North Korea/China/Russia, we might think of Venezuela; we remember the Rwanda genocide, and that’s pretty much it. Albright gives her audience a broader perspective, taking about Chile, Ethiopia, Hungary, and even Poland.

Second, in her definition, “fascism is not an ideology, it’s a method.” And from that perspective, she talks about the governments, which can potentially become fascists, but do not employ any of the fascist’s methods, maybe just yet. This is where I might disagree with her, I think that this approach might open counterproductive arguments.

Overall – I learned a lot of new facts from that book, and it definitely prompted me to think more deeply on the topic.

After-Eye Surgery Development

On Friday, I worked from home, and my neighbor R. took me to my eye doctor. Turned out that the situation is not as bad as I thought. The doctor measured my best correction to be – 2.75, and then started to look for a place where they would make my glasses within 24 hours.  

It turned out that such places are almost non-existent these days, everybody sends their orders to the labs. The staff of the doctor’s office was calling all the places around and finally found Lenz Crafters, where they had such an option – looks like the only one in the Northwest Suburbs:). The staff asked whether they had a lens I needed, and they said – yes, but the technician is not in; he will be there on Saturday. But we could come in and leave the order. 

When we arrived, the store associate started to show us different frames. I said that I need the cheapest one since these glasses are going to be for less than a week. For that, she replied that they have a sale of 50% off designer frames, and then they will also give me 40% off lenses. I was still trying to stay on the cheaper side, and finally picked up the frame, which was originally priced at $173. 

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Summer 1963

The first summer of my life. Since I remember myself from a very early age, and since I liked looking at my pictures even when I was a very small child (and that’s why, perhaps, I still remember it so well!), I could not believe I didn’t remember that summer! It felt unfair that I was in Estonia, looking at these beautiful flowers, and all of it was gone from my memories!

My aunt Kima is holding me here; I am six months old
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Eye Surgery Details – Part Two

Once again, way too many details, mostly for my real-life friends.

I forgot to mention that right after the surgery, I was allowed to put my right contact lens in, so after I came home, I was able to put the old lens on. After three weeks of glasses, it felt great. The left eye was still foggy, and also there were random dark “bloody” spots floating around, but for those, I knew they would go away.


I also knew that my operated eye might still change, but not significantly. So when I woke up Wednesday morning and took my eye shield off, I knew right away that that was not -2 or -2.5
My appointment was st 8-45 AM, and again in a distant location. Vlad came to me in the morning and drove me there.

When the doctor’s assistant was trying to measure my vision, I told her that I see nothing on the screen, no matter how big it is, that the screen and the wall are blurry. So She stepped closer and measured the max distance fro which I could see things clearly.

After a while, the surgeon came in, and I told him it must be -6 or so. He checked it, and it turned to be -4. I said: doctor, let’s discuss what can be done now. He started again about Lasic, and I told him: forget about Lasic for a moment, I need to understand how I am going to function in the next four weeks.

Continue reading “Eye Surgery Details – Part Two” →

Eye Surgery Details

For my real-life and/or long term friend, more detail about surgery and the aftermath.

Until the week before surgery, I was sure that I am getting the multifocal lenses, which should correct every issue I have, except for maybe some minor close vision problems. Last time I was at the doctor’s office for final measurement, a surgery coordinator reassured me once again that any multifocal will correct my distant vision 100%.


I didn’t believe that statement from the very beginning. But the staff was repeating it over and over again. They were saying that I might still need readers from time to time, but that’s it.
The surgeon called me five days before saying, that “with the type of lenses I’ve chosen, he can’t give me 20/20 vision, I will remain nearsighted.

As you can imagine, I started to interrogate him about what type will do the correction, and he said – monofocal, but they won’t give you anything else, no astigmatism correction. Just go with our original plan, you will have – 2 – 2.5 left, and in three months I will do Lasic on you. I said that I do not care about Lasic; my concern is how I will function in between. He said that I could wear glasses in between. And he strongly recommends fo me to go that way, “as I would advise my relative.” And I said – OK.

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Eye Surgery – One Done

I have trouble looking at the screen, so just a very quick update. I got my left eye operated; so far it is extremely foggy, so it’s hard to tell what it turned out to be. The surgeon told me that I have something about -2.5 left, but once again, I can’t tell now.

Now I can only see with non-operated eye, for which I can wear my old contact for the next ten days.

Will have a follow-up tomorrow.

it feels worse now than when the picture was taken, but hopefully will be better tomorrow

If I Won’t Treat Myself, Who Will?

…which is why I made a baked cheesecake for myself Saturday night. I wholeheartedly recommend this recipe – like many other recipes from my Finnish friends that one is easy to make and tastes delicious!

Before My Memories: Spring 1963

As a child, I had an outstanding memory. I remember some episodes of my life even before my first birthday. And since shortly after my first birthday, I remember more or less “everything,” meaning I remember my life as a stream of events. That was in part because my parents made lots of pictures, and I was often looking at them. 

That been said, that fact that I did not remember the earlier portion of my life, used to frustrate me a lot! I did not remember being in Estonia for the first summer of my life, and the pictures looked so lovely! 

I was born on January 19, 1963, and at that time, mothers in the Soviet Union didn’t yet have the option of staying at home with their babies for the first year of their lives. There was only the so-called “decree.” The name goes back to the early years of the Soviet state when the laws were called “decrees.” The decree which proclaimed the right of the woman to take eight weeks off work before the expected date of birth and eight weeks after went into effect in December 1917. For this whole period, women were paid 100% of their salaries. Later, women were allowed to take four more weeks off, but with no pay. What will happen if they won’t return to work? They would have to quit the job, which in turn will result in “interruption of work history” on their record, and that will negatively affect their state pension in the future.

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Valentine-Style Caramel Apple

Just a couple of statements:

  • I love apples in desserts (not that much as fruits)
  • I love caramel
  • I love cinnamon
  • I love almond
  • I love chocolate, dark, milk, and white
  • I hate peanuts
  • I hate salt in caramel

This being said, you understand my challenge in the nowadays sweets industry. And it also explains my joy when I spotted that creation at the cash register in the Eurofresh Store:

I’ve commented to the cashier that the only thing missing is cinnamon, for which he replied: don’t you have some at home? Just sprinkle over it! But let me tell you – it was super delicious the way it is!