On family history, parenting, education, social issues and more
Author: Hettie D.
My name is Henrietta (Hettie) Dombrovskaya. I was born in Saint-Petersburg, Russian (actually, back then – Leningrad, USSR) in 1963, and immigrated to the United States in 1996.
I love Saint Petersburg, the city I was born and raised in, and I think it’s one of the most beautiful places in the world. Similarly (but differently) I love Chicago, and can’t imagine myself moving somewhere else in the observable future.
I have three children, Igor, Vlad and Anna, all adults living on their own, and one (so far) granddaughter Nadia. I also believe that my children are the best thing that happened in my life.
As for my professional life, I am working in the field of Information Technologies. When I was twenty, I’ve declared that the databases are the coolest thing invented and that I want to do them for the rest of my life. Thirty plus years later, I still believe it’s true, and still, believe that the databases are the best. These two statements together imply that I think a person can have it all, and indeed, I think so! Keep reading my journals to find out how I did it.
I watched this movie, although I didn’t have time, and I had other things to do. I dropped everything and could not stop. And now I can’t do anything until I write about it.
As a Chicagoan, and as a music lover, I know about Daniel Barenboim’s West-Eastern Divan Orchestra, how I could not know? He talks about this orchestra almost every time he talks about anything publicly. I also know that many people, both inside and outside Israel, do not like this project. Barenboim always says that that project won’t bring peace, won’t stop the war, but it helps to build understanding. Now I am wondering, to what extent this movie is “loosely based” on Barenboim’s story. Because it’s way worse. And hopeless.
Twenty years ago, I resolved that I will never speak or write publicly about the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. That is one of those conflicts, where everybody is right, and everybody is wrong, and there is no way to change anybody’s opinion. And sadly, this brilliant movie proves it.
I do not think that anybody who believes that there is a right side of that conflict, should watch this movie. There is a reason why on Vimeo, the comments for that movie are disabled. I wanted to cry through most of the movie. And I want to cry now.
Vlad made a surprise appearance in Palatine on Saturday. I know the story – he and Anna have ordered some stuff from Vanille for me, and then Vanille went on quarantine. Then Vlad decided that he and Dylon will just come and surprise me.
I am not sitting at home all the time, even during quarantine, and when Vlad arrived unannounced, I was not at home :). So I kind of figured that all out, when he called :).
We met outside, all of us wearing masks. Vlad brought me some French pastries and a bunch of red carnations for the VE Day celebration. I gave half of them back to him so that my mom could see then when we all get on the zoom meeting. He also brought a box of macaroons and told me that he wanted to give it to my neighbor, who was driving me around all the time before and after my surgeries. She was surprised and happy :).
It was a bittersweet encounter; it’s hard not to be able to hug and kiss, and to keep the distance. I am glad that Vlad and Dylon came down here, but I can’t wait till we can meet for real.
We decided not to tell my mom that Vlad was here. I told her that Vlad sent pastries and flowers by Uber (they do such deliveries these days), and I gave her Vlad’s flowers to take home after our quiet family celebration.
May 9, or otherwise a Victory Day, is when the VE Day is celebrated in Russia and some other countries, including Finland. This article summarizes all the reasons why different countries celebrate on different days.
When we first came to the US, we quickly realized how little did we know about the events of WWII outside the part of the war which took place on the territory of the Soviet Union. And we also realized how little the people around us knew about this very part of the war we identified the most. Since then, it became our family tradition to celebrate this day in a very personal way, preserving the memories of the family members who lived through these times, and not to shy away from the complexities of that part of history.
My mom is a survivor of the Seige of Leningrad. A big part of how we are celebrating now is to let her know that her struggles are not forgotten. Since May 9 is not an official holiday in the US, we were always combining the VE Day celebration with the Mother’s Day. That year, it would be perfect, and if not for the quarantine, it would be a lovely weekend.
Since this year is also the 75th Anniversary of the VE Day, we tried our best to make it a memorable day for mom.
We chose a time when everybody could join a zoom meeting. I kept it low, so mom didn’t know all the details. I only told her a day before – I will pick you up at a quarter to five, and we will go to my place to celebrate a Victory.
I made our traditional salads on Friday, and Igor made yet another trip to Palatine to pick up the salads and some other stuff from the trunk of my car.
On Saturday afternoon, I started to set the table. I had “a moment” when I realized that what I thought being a can of sprats is a can of sprat pate, which meant I had to make deviled eggs in fifteen minutes. Which I did, but it was a personal record.
Everything worked great; everybody was on time; everybody had red carnations on the tables visible to mom. Anna sang mom’s favorite wartime song for her (and she called later one more time, and sang more). We drank for Victory, then for Mother’s Day and all moms, and for Anna’s new job, which she starts on Monday. Anna told mom, that thinking about her struggles during the Siege of Leningrad gives her courage and strength to navigate the current crisis. And I think that that’s the message my mom needed the most.
A display of my maternal grandparents pictures before, during and after the WWII, which I made a couple of years ago
Mom was very grateful for everything: that I put up this display again, that I made all the traditional food, that the sweets were so delicious, and that I got everybody together. She said that it was a bright light amidst the grim situation.
The Palatine Farmers market started its season lost Friday, and I didn’t even know! So this Saturday, I was determined to go. I thought that it would be a great idea to bike there, but we had a frost last night! Most likely, the last frost of the season, but cold enough for lots of my impatiences to die. It was not deadly for humans, for sure, but it made a ride unpleasant. So for today, I took a car to the train station and then walked to the market.
It was such a pleasure to see familiar faces, even when in masks and six feet apart. And even more so, to hear that people recognize me, even when my face is covered with a mask and sunglasses.
I love Vanille Patisserie, and I am sure I mentioned them in this blog at least a dozen times. I love their European-quality pastries and cakes and their macaroons. One of their stores is located on the lower level of the Ogilvie station, and in the times of peace, I stopped there to pick up treats for both office and home. I ordered their amazing pies for two Thanksgivings in a row. I ordered Mom’s birthday cake from them. Last time I was in the city, I got a big box of macaroons from them to give to my eye doctor and her staff.
They were always great. They called me when they were making my mom’s cake to double-check all the details, and a week later they called to ask how everything was, and whether mom liked the cake. When the quarantine started, they left only one store opened, had not more than twp customers in the store at a time, and extended their delivery options. They came up with so many funny and thoughtful quarantine specials.
I sent Vlad and Dylon their “Where is Lori Lightfoot” cake. I sent alphabet macaroons set to Nadia. I sent money to their Meal Donation program: you can buy meals for first responders, and the shop with add a couple more. I didn’t have any preference, where to send, and they emailed me two days before they were going to deliver “my” donation, that it will go to the UIC nurses. They asked whether I wanted to attach a personal message, and I replied – of cause!
May 8th was supposed to be a day of free delivery to the North-West Suburbs, and I ordered a bunch of things for our V-Day/Mother’s Day, including some frozen stuff. And then on May 6th, I received an email:
The other day, I asked Boris to take a picture of how does the nature in Helsinki looks like now. He said, he already did, and sent me a link to several images of awakening nature. And then the next morning, when I called him at our usual meeting time, he has outside, walking in the Sibelius park (he lives right by it).
He showed me the flowers and the trees in bloom and the bikers and the dogs :). And I didn’t feel sad like “oh, I wish I was there!” On the contrary, it felt so nice and so special, it was really “as if I was there.”
Tonight, I presented my NORM talk at a PG Conf webinar. That was the second time I gave it after the SOFSEM conference in January. Two weeks ago, I used it to reopen Chicago PUG online, and I felt that the presentation went horrible. Other people were saying I did great, but I didn’t feel that way. It was challenging to present without hearing and seeing the immediate reaction of the audience. Besides, I faced some technical difficulties.
That time, I practiced in zoom the day before to make sure I almost know it by heart, including all the jokes, and it went really well. Even though I haven’t heard the audience, I could feel that people are engaged. The questions in the zoom chat started to appear while I was talking, and there were lots of them!
Also, I am so glad I put together a GitHub repo with a working example! I hope that this will open a new chapter in the life of the NORM framework.
I felt great after my presentation was over. It was probably as close to the atmosphere of the real conference as it could get:)
Our Park District came up with a very creative way to keep the residents active during the lockdown. At the beginning of April, they launched a virtual competition, “Increasing the distance.”
The distance is minimal, but I know that many people stopped moving entirely, so it is important to get them out and moving, even if it would be for a mile a day.
Another weekend activity was planting my flower garden. For the past four years, each spring, something would happen which would prevent me from doing it the way I like.
In 2016, I just started my new job; I was traveling to Texas each week, and I do not even remember how that summer looked like. I remember that I only put some flowers in the planters on the deck. In 2017, the weather was really bad, and half of what I planted died. In 2018, I had my back surgery. And in 2019 I could not start panting until June, because it was so cold! Each spring, I was saying to myself that next year it will be better. And here comes 2020!
I knew that after this weekend, the weather wouldn’t be great for a while, so Sunday morning, I headed to the Home Depot. It was not “first thing in the morning,” I was up for almost five hours by that time, but 10 AM is still considered morning 🙂
At Home Depot, it was pretty well organized, they had a separate entrance and exit, and they only allowed a limited number of people into the store simultaneously. I have to say, that selection was not that great; I know pretty well what I need to get to have all of my flowerbeds and planters the way I want. This time, many items which I used to buy every year where not there. If it were business as usual, I would come back one more time and one more time and would visit other stores, but that time around, I decided that I will go with what they have. So unless I will run into them in Jewel-Osco, I won’t have any ivy, coleuses, or decorative sweet potato vines. But hey – I got a full trunk!
I started planting in the afternoon but managed to finish everything in one day.The weather was beautiful, I was outside in a t-short and capris, and I really like how it all turned out!
This weekend was nice and warm and sunny, and tomorrow it will become much colder. It does not look like we are going to have another summer-like day till Memorial Day weekend.
I tried to use this warm time as much as possible, doing tons of things outdoors.
I spent a total of at least four hours in the forest preserve, both biking and walking. On Saturday, I decided to take mom to the forest preserve again since she enjoyed it so much last weekend. This time, in an attempt to minimize encounters with other people, I decided to take her to a different site, which worked great. Although there were still people, there were way fewer visitors there. Also, the roads are wider, so you can keep the distance. And last but not least, the change of scenery is a good thing.
Hettie's Reflections 