Author: Hettie D.

My name is Henrietta (Hettie) Dombrovskaya. I was born in Saint-Petersburg, Russian (actually, back then – Leningrad, USSR) in 1963, and immigrated to the United States in 1996. I love Saint Petersburg, the city I was born and raised in, and I think it’s one of the most beautiful places in the world. Similarly (but differently) I love Chicago, and can’t imagine myself moving somewhere else in the observable future. I have three children, Igor, Vlad and Anna, all adults living on their own, and one (so far) granddaughter Nadia. I also believe that my children are the best thing that happened in my life. As for my professional life, I am working in the field of Information Technologies. When I was twenty, I’ve declared that the databases are the coolest thing invented and that I want to do them for the rest of my life. Thirty plus years later, I still believe it’s true, and still, believe that the databases are the best. These two statements together imply that I think a person can have it all, and indeed, I think so! Keep reading my journals to find out how I did it.

American Dream Documentary, And A Surprising Discovery

Since neither Igor nor I had an opportunity to participate in any of the May Day events, and I couldn’t even get out of the office to watch a march, I suggested watching one of the Labor Movement documentaries screening at the Siskel Center during the first days of May. We went to see the American Dream documentary produced by Barbara Kopple in 1990. It shouldn’t be a surprise that I didn’t know about the labor strike against Hormel Foods of 1986. My complete cluelessness added suspense because throughout the whole documentary, I didn’t know how it would end! Sometimes (often?) it’s important to learn not only about impressive victories, but also about great failures.

There was something else, quite unexpected, that caught my attention while I was watching this documentary: the way everyone talked. A couple of weeks ago, I saw an article reporting a recent study finding that people now use fewer words than they did twenty years ago, and this documentary was striking proof of that! As a frequent participant in political rallies, I know very well how even the best speakers talk these days! In this movie, the union leaders, the members, and everyone talked intelligently, used a lot of words, and spoke complicated sentences. Nobody was shouting slogans; instead, people reasoned, considered different aspects of the matter at hand, listened to others’ arguments, and offered counterarguments. And trust me, none of this was rehearsed! There were heated debates, and at one point, a debate turned into a physical fight, but still!

I was shocked! Where did all of this go?! How did we get there? And how can we return to normality?!

Watch trailer on Vimeo

Mindfulness In Nature: Spring

On Saturday, I attended a meditation session organized by the Nature volunteers group. I attended a similar session last year, and I liked the experience and the instructor. As last time, we gathered by the Leone Beach clubhouse, observed the lake, and recalled our previous interactions with nature. We shared our stories, and then we walked in the Nature Area, paying attention to the signs of awakening nature, and then gathered together again to share our thoughts and observations.

With the weather being like it was for the previous month, I was surprised to see that many flowers were blooming! In early spring, I always notice new bright green coming out of the dry brown patches of the previous season grass. Life goes on :).

Matisse’s Jazz

On Thursday, I finally went to the Art Institute to see Matisse’s Jazz exhibit. Usually, I try to see every new exhibit on the day it opens, but as I’ve mentioned multiple times, it’s been a stressful month. Or a couple of months:).

This is a small exhibit, and it made me think. At first, I didn’t quite get the concept. I could not understand why Matisse abandoned painting and drawing in favor of colored paper cutting. I learned that he started using scissors and paper after the surgery, when, for a very long time, he could not stand long enough to paint. But then he switched to this technique entirely, and I was looking and looking, and trying to find the rhythm which I am always looking for in Matisse’s works. And then I finally found it.

Daizies – an earlier Matisse’s work
After – Jazz cutouts

A Silent Movie At Guarneri Hall

On Wednesday, I went to a show at Guarneri Hall for the first time after a long break. The show was rather unusual – it was an accompaniment for a classic silent movie.

The program featured

Pianist and composer Stephen Prutsman returns to Guarneri Hall for the third time, amping up the fun for one of our most-anticipated events of the season. A Night at the Movies pairs a silent-era film comedy with a brilliant, original film score written and performed live by Prutsman and a small ensemble.

In Buster Keaton’s College, Ronald, a nerdy scholar, pans sports in favor of academics. This attitude wins him no points with his peers and especially coed Mary, who favors the athletic Jeff. Ronald’s effort to win back Mary through his failed attempts at various sports is the setup for Keaton’s unique physical comedy in this hilarious film from 1927.

Here is a more detailed description of this movie, and also the interview with the composer.

I think that most of the audience had more fun than I did; for me, it was more educational than funny, and I am unsure what cultural context I am missing. Still, I didn’t regret going, but I liked the other two concerts I attended there more.

Guarneri Hall always has small receptions following each concert, where you can grab a glass of wine and some bites. Since that’s too late for me, I would grab some fruit, cheese, and crackers and not stay for long. This time, an older gay couple asked me if they could join me at the table, and at first, we had a lively conversation about silent movies. They told me about their visit to the Lumiere Museum in Lyon a month earlier, and I shared how I watched Lumiere le Cinema at Siskel. Then we talked about other cultural venues and places to have a pre-concert dinner. And then they asked me where I lived before coming to the US. Since it was not the first question they asked, I felt it was appropriate, and told them that I am from Russia, and that I have lived here for thirty years. Then they asked me whether I ever go back, and I replied: not since the war started. They nodded, but then immediately started telling me how they had visited Russia, what Moscow and Saint Petersburg were like, and how they loved museums. Then, they started about Navalny, “who is the only person who is capable of changing the course” (they spoke in the present tense, so it looks like they completely missed the last several years of development). At this point, I stopped nodding politely and told them that although I condemn the killing of political opponents, Navalny wouldn’t be better for Russia. To which they said that “they stay away from politics” and “of course, we were true innocents abroad“, but then kept going on at length about the great culture.

… just saying that when people are “selectively innocent” about politics, that’s when bad things happen.

Stress Release

I made a couple of the right decisions over the past several days that dramatically improved my quality of life. First, I decided not to go to the Nature Volunteering workday on Sunday. It was not obvious that this was the right decision, because the nature volunteering season had just started, and I already knew I wouldn’t be able to make most of the workdays due to scheduling conflicts. Still, I had several major tasks related to the conference that were already past due, and I knew that I was pushing them back, and I even knew why. It was important for me to have a mental space to finally start working on them, because otherwise, I could give myself an excuse that these tasks required more uninterrupted time than I had. I also knew that if I kept pushing them back, their weight would make me even more anxious.

Exactly at the moment I was about to leave the house for a workday, I started working on the conference lanyard design. It was a more difficult task than usual because we had a lanyard sponsor, so the design should have included their logo, and I couldn’t say that if I mess up, I will just order a new one. It took me an hour and a half, but in the end, I was happy with my design. Also, after several back-and-forths, I signed the contract for our speakers’ dinner, which was my second hanging task, and I suddenly realized that a big portion of my worries was gone!

Another thing that helped me a lot was the way I communicated with my mom. Firstly, I told her in advance that on Sunday, I would be in transition between activities, so instead of sitting with her in her apartment, I would take her for coffee at Common Cup. And then, I didn’t visit her on Monday and Tuesday, not because I had events to attend, but just because I don’t have to visit her every time I have a free evening. I hate to say it, but it was the best thing I’ve done for myself! I didn’t have to cope with stress during or after the conversation with her, and I was also surprised by how much extra time it provided. I felt like a human after several weeks of not feeling that way 🙂

New Year’s Resolutions Four Months Later

My trainer calls the people flocking to gyms at the beginning of the year “resolutionists” :). We both wait till this tide subsides between the end of January and the end of March. To be fair, some people stay, and good for them!

Having this “resolutionist” effect in mind, I was cautious about reporting my results and waited for an extra month. Now, at the end of April, I am happy to report that I was able to change my yoga practice habits the way I wanted. Now, I consistently have one private lesson a week, a group lesson when time permits, and an additional 1 – 1.5 hours of practicing yoga on my own.

For about a year, I felt I was losing flexibility, and that each time I took a break from practicing in general or from a specific pose, I was losing more. I made a resolution to practice consistently and set these specific measures, and it is definitely working.

As for my other two resolutions, I haven’t succeeded yet. One was getting six hours of sleep most days (at least five days a week). I am still not convinced that I need six, because when I sleep longer in Helsinki, after a couple of days, I just lie awake and wait for when I can get up :). But getting between 5.5 and 6 hours is definitely a goal.

Reading Kindle books at least for a part of my commute is not happening either, and I know that “I have other things to do” is not a great excuse. I need to find a way to develop this new habit, but it hasn’t happened yet.

About Career Change

A couple of weeks ago, I attended a virtual event called “Women & Visibility.” I believe the name is self-explanatory. A panel of successful female professionals shared their stories about the hurdles they had to overcome to be heard, not ignored, and recognized for their contributions.

Unfortunately, nothing new! We heard these stories many, many times! One of the side discussions, however, caught my attention. The panel host asked the participants whether each of them had a significant shift in their professional career, perhaps even a career switch, that launched their future success. And all the panelists agreed.

I started thinking about what was wrong with me :), because I am one of these incredibly dull people who do the same thing all the time. I have been doing databases and almost nothing except databases for more than 40 years, and that’s the field where I transitioned from “nobody” to “somebody.” And then I thought that, in some sense, I had a career switch, and more than once. For many years, I never thought about myself as “standing out.” I knew I was good at what I was doing; good enough to always have a job, even being a single mom with three small children. Still, I was in a realm of “I need a secure job with a stable paycheck.” Only much later, I transitioned to the mindset of “I want to take responsibility for my actions, I want to make my decisions, and be responsible for the consequences.” And much later, it became: “I want to help others, I want to build a community, I want to take part in making the world a better place.”

Maybe this still counts as a career change, even though I’ve been working with databases all my life?

Other Things I’ve Been Busy With Recently

Illinois Prairie PostgreSQL Meetup is moving!

A Cooking-Related Injury

For the past several times when I came to make a dinner at ODS, J. asked whether we can make tomato soup and grill cheese sandwiches. Both were not in my personal cook book, but both sounded like easy to make (and it was sort of a shame I never made them myself). We made plans, and she specifically asked to make grilled chees sandwiches on the sourdough bread. I told her to make sure to tell the staff who will be shopping for ingredients what they should purchase.

We started with the soup because it was more work. Everything went great except for when we desided to puree the ready soup with the blender. It was “not required” but the recipe suggested that if we would do it, we should puree the soup in batches. Again, averything went great except for the last (the third) batch: I do not know what I did wrong, but when we were done, I couldn’t get the blender off the base of the blender, and somehow turned it the wrong way so that the top got detached, and a super hot soup pored down. I tried to catch at least some of it (my mistake), and a as a result, the half of my left hand got burned: it all turned red and was hurting really badly. And unfortunately, they didn’t have the anti-burn lotion in their first aid box.

Fortunately, there was an ice box on the counter, and I had en empty plastic bag in my backpack, so for the next hour-plus, I was holding a bag of ice over my left hand, changing the ice every 15 minutes. After an hour, I saw definite improvement, and knew that there was no permanent damage. Honesty, it was the first time in my life the burning made so little harm. My hand hurt after I had to throw away the last portion of melted ice when I was on the train, but it lasted for a very short time. By next morning, I didn’t feel anything, and I only a very small portion of my left tumb had some pink on it, the rest of the skin was fine.

Oh, and we made the sandwiches after the mess was cleaned, and they turned out amazing! I will definitely make them at home, and maybe I will even give another try for a tomato soup!

The Great Gatsby On Broadway

I love the book, love that period in history, and, I guess, that’s one of the reasons Chicago is my kind of town to the extent it is: the Roaring 20s was the most glorious period in its history. That show was just what I needed this week, when I needed to stop worrying about everything, and I left the theater in the most positive state of mind I had during the last month.

Lots of patrons were dressed in the Gilded Age style, including my neighbor, and I felt very inadequate, but still enjoying myself