It calmed down in many different ways. In the beginning, I was calling Boris at least three times a day. I told him upfront that I will be not a normal person, and that I need his help to get to some stable set of mind.
I think that what affected me most was that things were changing so rapidly, and that was giving a sense of everything falling apart. But recently, I got back to almost normal. There are no logical reasons for that. The situation in the country and the world didn’t become better; in fact, it became worse. I even somehow started to accept the fact that Boris and I might not see each other till the end of the year.
It would be the longest time ever for us being apart, and it does seem like “never.” I told him the other day that I want to put his things away, out of sight. I did not want to do that, because the only time in my life I did it was when I thought we are going to divorce. But he said he is fine with me putting his things away if later I can make a show of putting them back.
We talk for 30-40 minutes every morning before I start work and, most of the time, for another 30-40 minutes later in the day. And our usual long talks on the weekend. We talk about work and research, and various home improvements, and yet another new computer. And we never talk about how much we miss each other.
A couple of days ago, Boris told me that Finnair called him about the flight on March 20, which he canceled online. They said to him that they are going to “uncancel” it and that he will be able to choose any other flight before the end of the year. They said “for now,” assuming that based on the situation, the extension may go to the next year. For some reason, I felt very encouraged by that exchange, although I know that nobody knows:)