Tag: war

2000 meters to Andriivka

I just watched “2000 meters to Andriivka” at the Siskel Center. I started crying even before the documentary title appeared on the screen. Then I stopped crying because there were no tears left. And then I started to cry again when they showed footage of the funerals. And for all these almost two hours, I felt eternal hatred towards those who started this war and those who allowed it to happen.

Horror. Hopelessness. Sorrow for all these lives gone, especially since Mstyslav Chernov tells us which of the soldiers he filmed were injured and died later. And the way he runs the excerpts from the news coverage from the days of the counter-offense, mentioning that “it didn’t deliver to expectations” or whatever the language was.

To say this documentary is difficult to watch is to say nothing. The official trailer below does not give even a remote impression of it. I don’t know how to keep living life as usual when you know that this actually happened, and that the corpses I saw on the screen were not props, and the captured Russian officer was not an actor.

P.S. If you are in Chicago, there are two more screenings.

Unfortunately, Yes

On Tuesday, I was making dinner at the ODS, and after the dinner was made, and everyone who was around ate, we sat down chatting in the common area. One of the newest residents asked me the usual “where I was from,” and then whether I ever go back, and what part of Russia I was from, and whether I had even been to Moscow. And finally, he asked: what’s the best time to visit Moscow? I paused for a moment and replied: When the war is over. And when Putin is out. To his credit, he immediately understood why I replied that way, but his questions perfectly illustrated the fact that the war in Ukraine is completely out of sight for most Americans. People do not think about Russia as one of the parties in the war. And they do not understand that when I reply, “I am from Russia,” I feel it as saying, “I am responsible for that bloodshed.”

In my mind, that’s somehow related to another story my friend told me. She was at a store, where an older Pole with very limited English was trying to communicate something to a store clerk. Later, after my friend and her daughter left the store, that person left right after them, and upon hearing them speaking Russian, he said: Well, I should have asked you for help in the store! My friend turned to him and asked him in Russian: “Oh, do you speak Russian?” He looked at her with a deep pain in his eyes and said, “Unfortunately, yes!”

My friend told me that she will never forget this person and a pain in his eyes.

About Imperial Mindset – Again

One of the topics of our conversation with my friend, who visited me on Saturday, was how we both strive to break away from the imperial mindset we had for most of our lives, and how the war in Ukraine has forced both of us to re-examine our beliefs and our “defaults.” She told me about a project she is working on with the Chicago Kyrgyz community, and how she knew virtually nothing about Kyrgyzs before that. She feels a great deal of respect and admiration for this community, and she regrets that she was once clueless, following the “younger brothers” shortcuts of Soviet propaganda. I understand her very well, because I feel the same way, and I am ashamed of the younger me looking down at the “smaller nations.”

One particular story she told me, struck me. When she was teaching a gymnastic class in a Russian-speaking daycare for pre-schoolers, she noticed a girl, sitting by herself and not coming to participate in the gymnastics activities. She encouraged the girl to join, but the teacher, who herself was a Ukrainian refugee, dismissed the move: “What would you expect from aul?” The aul is a word for a small rural village, and the whole sentence was a diminitive reference to the girl being from a “small nation.” My friend was appauled by the fact that a person who just experienced the Russian agression would say this, but she said nothing and still encouraged the girl to participted. Months later, that same teached approached my friend and said: I was thinking about that episode and our conversation, and I am sorry I said that. Now I realize how wrong I was.

I do not think there is much to comment on that, but I shared both my friend’s respect for this person who came a long way to realize that her believes needed some corrections, and also my friend’s deep regret about how deep inside each of us this sense of superiority was rooted.

20 Days In Mariupol

The Siskel Center ran “20 Days in Mariupol” as part of their Shadows of the War Lecture series, which meant that this documentary was a part of the curriculum for the students of the Art Institute of Chicago. The tickets were also sold to the general public, so I got a chance to watch it (without advertising).

It’s incredibly painful to watch this documentary right now, with Trump doing what he is doing, with the UN resolution, and everything related. Adding all the other battles I have to fight these days, it feels like the whole world is against me, and all the evil forces are coming from one source (which is not true).

I do not think I can add any meaningful comments about this documentary. In the beginning, the lecturer mentioned that “there is not much reading available” for it, but I am sure that there will be plenty and that it will remain in the history of war documentaries as an outstanding journalistic work. And I hope that the time will come when it will be presented as evidence of war crimes to the International Tribunal.

Today, however, it feels like nobody is held accountable for all these atrocities.

You can watch the whole documentary here if you haven’t had a chance to see it yet.

Russian Lies #6

The last documentary of the Russian Lies series is about Russian athletes and how they are perceived in Western countries. Once again, there was not that much new information for me, but the most valuable part is a clear explanation of how the Russian government uses the athletic achievements of the Russian citizen to it’s advantage. This situation is very similar to the conferences participation, and that’s what I have difficulties explaining to many of my peers. So many times my peers would ask me why I want to panish people “who didn’t do anything,” and tell me that “they want to support them during difficult times.” And each and single time I explain to them that Russian authorities use these situations (like some important person coming to a Russian conference or some Russian researcher is being accepted to speak at some European conference) as an evidence of the fact that “they like us,” ” they can’t survive without us,” and so on. And they so totally-completely do not get the part which is so clearly explained in this documentary!

Russian Lies #5

The fifth of the “Russian lies” documentaries, that one is about the role of media in Russian society, and it is restricted. Probably the least surprising of all of these documentaries – all happened on my watch.

Russian Lies #4

I wish this documentary was separated into at least two films because it touches on several different topics. Otherwise, I have little to comment on. Being intimately familiar with the selection process and the teaching methods at the Vaganova Academy through a friend, I never had illusions about Russian ballet. I remember an evening at my Palatine neighbor’s home when her older daughter rushed in after her first ballet class with a Russian teacher: “She was hitting us on our legs! “

As for looting art, it is, unfortunately, a universal problem. Some governments choose to correct their mistakes, and some don’t…

Russian Lies #3

The third documentary of the series is about Soviet and Russian movies. I am leaving only minimal comments here because Russian cinematography is almost unknown in the US, to the best of my knowledge. Even my most frequent movie-going friends had seen very little if any, of the Soviet movies and even less of the Russian ones. And the fact that movies are the most efficient propaganda tool is well-known, so I have nothing essential to add.

War Thoughts

We can survive pretty much anything Tram would try to do with our country. I am pretty sure about that, partially because of the usual percentage of pre-election promises being and not being realized and partially because I remember what Anna taught me about how the Congress works (and why it works that way).

There is only one thing that might be irreversible, and I am afraid of it – the betrayal of Ukraine. I believe that it may happen because I know that the business wants to end the war. Nobody from the business side of things wants the war, and the business does not care about what the end of the war will entail. No matter how much analysis is done, they still do not care about what will happen in two weeks, yet along, in several months.

I know that the call is to end the war, and if Trump would end the war the way he wants, it will mean that Ukraine as a state will cease to exist. I imagine that there are a lot of people who don’t care, but even if they don’t care about Ukraine they should understand that the next war will be inevitable. I probably shouldn’t mention that Biden’s decision regading the missiles usage is too late, and as much as I hope for the best, I don’t believe that any major wins are possible.

Everything else will be fine.

Traveling With Russian Passport

That was the first time in a while that I traveled together with Boris and had a connection in London. Actually, since I had a connection in London on my way to Helsinki, I had three London connections in a week!

The first one was just me, and there was a very long wait, and no priority line was opened.

The second one was with Boris, and we had it all:

  • Interrogation at the passport control in Helsinki
  • Interrogation at the boarding gate (the gate attendant started checking the regulations for transfers – as if Boris was the only one transferring person without a UK visa)
  • Interrogation in Heathrow
  • Long lines at security without a priority lane
  • Barely made it to the gate

The third one, again with Boris, on our way back from Athens

  • The online check-in didn’t issue a boarding pass for him
  • In the Athens airport, a BA counter attendant went to check the regulations (as if Boris was the only person connecting without a UK visa).
  • Then he called another associate, and this whole process took twenty minutes, and for some reason, they asked for my passport as well. They finally issued boarding passes for both of us, adding that Boris “can’t step out from the airport” in London (as if it was ever different). Then they tried to convince us to check in our carry-on (we refused because we didn’t want to wait for our luggage at 11 PM)
  • We finally made it to the lounge, which was not very impressive (fun fact: you had to go to another lounge for a toilet)
  • Interrogation at the border control, however – no lines!
  • Surprise: no lines at the security check!
  • We were absolutely sure we wouldn’t have time to go to the lounge, but because of zero wait time in the security line, we had it!

Completely unexpected:

  • When we arrived in Helsinki and had to go through passport control again, they figured out that “we were together,” and despite my protests, they sent me to the same officer who talked to Boris. I should have said that “we are not traveling together,” not “we have different passports,” but I didn’t realize it right away, and then I was a subject of interrogation. They assumed that I wanted to stay longer and asked whether I had a residential permit, and then when I said I didn’t they asked to show my returning ticket.

Summary: it was so good to finally be home, and before midnight!

P.S. Just to be clear: I understand that the suspicions against Russian passport holders are completely justified, and that post is not a protest.