At some point, I bought tons of books on Audible, thinking that I could still return them if I didn’t like them or if I decided not to read them. However, they changed their return policies (and it was probably a good call!), so I ended up with a lot of never-opened books. Since they were already on my phone, I decided to give them a try, and many of them turned out to be not bad at all!

Code Name Blue Wren. I picked this book because it was in the Women’s Month recommended reading from CPL (from last year!). The description (a Cuban female spy) was intriguing, but when I started to listen, it felt boring, and I abandoned it. I resumed reading several months later, and finally, I was into this book. The most interesting was trying to understand the psychology of a person who turned against the country that gave them so much…

This is the Story of a Happy Marriage. It’s a short story; I can’t tell why I liked it; I guess it’s just the timing was right.

The 19th Wife. I learned something about different aspects of polygamy that I hadn’t thought about before and about what is especially damaging to it. I am still unsure whether I should have spent that much time on it, though.

Before the Coffee Gets Cold. That was the book we read for our Book Club, and I really enjoyed it, although I can’t quite put my finger on why. During our discussion at the Book Club meeting, I suggested that it might be because I often reflect on whether I would have wanted something in my life to be different. However, I always come to the conclusion that I wouldn’t change anything in my past because everything I’ve done in the past has made me the person I am today.

Before Your Memory Fades. Book #3 (I believe) from the same series. During our book club discussion, somebody mentioned that “Before coffee gets cold” has a sequel, but “it is way worse.” I didn’t believe them and bought the book. It turned out that they were right!

Most Delicious Poison. Spices, medicine, poison – they all come from the same plants, there difference is in the quantity.

The Quiet Girl. One more book from last year’s Women’s History Month recommendations. Don’t know what to make out of it. It was definitely a captivating reading, but I do not think that I would miss something if I would never read it.

I still have several books from the last-year supply, and one new book from our reading club, and one more…

No time to write the actual reviews, but I still wanted to leave a couple of notes about the books I recently read.

• Last year, I read Henry at Work. I started reading it because it was recommended as a book about “the meaning of work,” especially “during the era of mass resignation,” and it sounded interesting. When I started to read it, I realized that first, I needed to read at least some works of Thoreau, so I started Walden. It was an incredibly difficult reading for me, in part because early nineteenth-century English is very different from the modern language and in part because the pace of the story is a hundred times slower than I am used to. I took it upon myself to beat this challenge and exercise patience, especially because it was sort of a point of Thoreau’s philosophy. I made it :), even though it was possibly the slowest reading in my adult life. I am still thinking to which extent I agree with Thoreau. Is my work meaningful? I hope it is because I am definitely not working “just so I can earn money to live.” But is it really meaningful? I am not sure. I am in the race for a big paycheck? Am I one of the people who wants things because others want them, and I might not need them? Judging by me being among the first to get Apple Vision, it seems like it, but that was probably the only purchase of that kind in many years. Are my desires to have more cultural experiences and travel more unworthy ones? Henry James Thoreau condemned trains, saying that there is no reason for people to get from one place to another “as fast as possible.” I find it hard to agree :).
• Eat to beat your diet. I started reading it because I thought that it was going to be an anti-dieting book. The author claimed that “you do not need to eat less; you just need to eat the right foods, and you will be able to fight bad fats, and everything will be great.” In fact, when he talks about the studies, he mentions that people in them were not eating less, but they were given some special foods in addition. However, when it comes to meal plans, the first things he emphasizes are “eat in moderation,” intermittent fasting,” and similar calorie-restricting techniques.
• Before the Coffee Gets Cold. I read it for the book club and loved it! I can’t even tell why I loved it so much and what’s the significance of this work, but I was completely taken! Loved it to the last drop! Possibly will read the next one in the series.
• Red Alert - The Novel that Inspired Dr. Strangelove, or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb. I started reading it after I watched the movie. That’s shocking reading for anybody born in the Soviet Union. It’s hard to say “I loved it” about such kind of a book, so let’s say it left a long-lasting impression on me. I will try to write more about it next week.
• Three more books “currently reading”.

I do not remember where this recommendation came from, but the description looked intriguing, and I purchased the audiobook. And in the beginning, it sounded awesome: Baba Yaga died in Kyiv and left her House on Chicken Legs to her youngest female descendant 70 years after her death. An attorney finds the descendants in the US, and the House on Chicken Legs arrives in a container, stretches it’s legs to the horror of the witnesses, and the story goes on. Then, there is a mysterious Russian who tries to follow the House, and we are not sure what his evil plans are.
I thought, it would be a great story, but then, the historical inaccuracies start to pile so high, that it was impossible to ignore them, and the story becomes uninteresting. Baba Yaga suddenly becomes a Jewish woman who lives in the pale of settlement. I could live with that, but next, in 1919, there are “Russian soldiers” who are “protecting the tsar”, and simultaneously, there is an October Revolution, Denikintsy, the White Army, the ‘Russian soldiers” defending “the tsar and Fatherland” and the ”government sanctioned pogroms.” Yes, I understand that the book is about historical memory, and keeping history alive and so on, but when the history is so brutalized, it’s difficult to come to terms with “presenving history.”

I felt this reading as a completely wasted time. I still listened to the end, because I couldn’t believe “that’s it.” And there is a good idea at the end, but one paragraoh is a poor justification for a long book.

This list was published a couple of weeks ago (see here), and out of these one hundred books, I read only two and heard about four more, which sounds like a miserable outcome. I am not sure there are that many people who would be able to read a hundred books in a year, and they do not have to be from the must-read list, but still. I feel like in the previous years, more titles sounded familiar.

I would be curious to know how many books from this list other people read.

Recently, I returned or deleted several books in my audio library that were bought impulsively or by mistake. When I started listening to them, I soon realized I didn’t want to continue. That being said when I started to listen to Happiness Falls, I thought that this book would end up in the same virtual dumpster. To my surprise, I realized that I wanted to keep reading! Moreover, I used each and every single free minute to keep listening until I finished the book. 

I was especially surprised that I ended up liking it so much because one of the main themes of the book resonates with the central theme of Everything is f*cted, the book which I didn’t like at all. The idea is that happiness is relative, and the higher the “base level,” the more difficult it is to reach a high level of happiness. Sure, the objective measuring of happiness is a separate issue, but at least subjectively, many (if not most) people agree. 

I do not like this idea because, for many years, inspired by my mom’s attitude, I was always super anxious for this very reason. When I wanted something to happen, or I was anticipating something good coming/happening soon, I tried to lower my expectations so that I wouldn’t be disappointed. This way of thinking evolved quickly into experiencing severe anxiety before these potentially good events. I imagined all sorts of things that would prevent good things from happening. Likewise, I was never fully immersed in being happy, always thinking that “there will be consequences.” 

It took years after I moved to the US (which meant being away from my mom and also observing a very different attitude to life) until I started to realize that I was harming both myself and my loved ones and that I started to learn to think and live differently. It took a while, but I made this change, possibly because, by nature, I am a happy person, and I was a happy child until I was taught to be unhappy. 

The most important thing I loved about this book is another theme: reflections about how a non-verbal person is judged in our society as mentally incapable. The author draws a parallel between being a foreigner who does not know the language of their new country and a person with motor skills deficiencies that prevent them from using spoken language. 

Language (and accent)-wise, I’ve written about it so often that I do not want to repeat it. I had it both ways: being a subject of “those who speak with an accent think with an accent” and subconsciously having the same attitude toward others. I am deeply ashamed of the latter, but I can’t deny that I had that attitude at some point in my life. 

Also, I couldn’t stop thinking about one Russian family whom I have known for many years, where the mother discovered a similar way to communicate with her son with severe cerebral palsy. I remember both her struggles and disbelief and denial from the doctors and general public, all the accusations of “faking” her son’s communications with others. I could not stop thinking about them all the time I was listening to this book.