Hettie’s Reflections – Blog Posts

More On Breaking Stereotypes And Old Patterns

Last weekend, when we talked with Lena about breaking the eating habits, she touched upon breaking away from other things we were taught froman early age. She told me: since I do not remember how early in my life, my grandmother used to tell me that when I have a family, I should attend to my husband’s needs first, then to kid’s needs, and then to my own. And I can second her – that was a universal idea.

In addition, even though we had the same access to higher education and theoretically the same access to jobs, all of us – all female I knew – regarded their love life being more important than professional career, more than anything, Marriage was definitely the first priority since our early teens, and none of us could ever possibly imagine a happy life without marriage. At the same time, most of us thought that a woman should follow her husband whever life moves him, and that sacrificing all our personal desires, for “what he needs” was in our books of “being a noble person.” We despised those women who “chose their comfort over sharing their husband’s hardships.” That’s why my extremely gifted friend, who for some reason, didn’t consider herself a “marriage material,” got married right before graduation and moved with her husband to Baikonur (where her first child died in birth). That’s why we had a had time understanding what was so heroic in the decision of the Decembrists’ wives to follow their husbands to Siberia.

Actually, I think that we just spend too much time on our personal life and relationships (and who woud’ve thought I would say that!). That was another thing we talked about with Lena, and she seconds me. The funniest part is that my current high professional status is in a strange way a result of me being focused on love and relationships too much in my earlier life – this triggered a long sequence of events which resulted in me being where I am.

Life is the strangest thing. And I am not free from stereotypes, although I try :). My kids are better 🙂

Widow Clicquot Movie

I went to watch it at the Siskel Center with my mom on Wednesday. I’d say it was a success in terms of that my mom didn’t complain about “how she couldn’t understand anything.’ What was even more impressive is that after I sent to her a short description of the movie, she googled it and read more information, and was very well prepared. And she was able to read the closing remarks about the later years of Widow Clicquot, so we had a meaningful discussion on our way back home. I am always glad when I can find something stimulating for her, and get some fresh reactions.

I expected a little bit more from that movie; I liked it, but I didn’t “love-love” it. Now, I am waiting for a premier of “Sisi”- it should start in a week, but the Siskel Center still didn’t announce the showtimes.

Eating Habits And Health

I had this WBEZ piece in my list of opened tabs for a very long time. As much as it sounded reasonable, I internally disagreed with its message. When Lena visited last weekend, we ended up talking a lot about changing eating habits, and I decided to go back to that piece and the research it referred to.

To be precise, I agree with the opening statement that there is no “one best diet.” Also, I understand that the new immigrants might feel lonely in many ways, including missing familiar foods. However, many traditional foods of most cultures, including American traditional food, are objectively not the healthiest.

There are many historical and economic reasons for eating habits to be formed a certain way, but it does not mean we should keep following them out of the force of habit. The conditions of life have changed; most of our lives have changed compared to how people lived a hundred years ago, not even talking about the earlier times. Maybe something is wrong with me, but I don’t understand the “food nostalgia” many people born in Russia mention, like missing the condensed sweetened milk or some types of ice cream or sodas. I am not saying I am rejecting my heritage food entirely. There are tons of great foods that I not only use but also frequently advertise, such as multiple vegetable soups or buckwheat, but definitely not the fried fish or soups for which you would sautee the vegetables before adding them to the broth.

I often hear these ideas about “it’s better to eat what you are used to eat,” and i discgree with it categorically. When I chatted with Lena during the weekend, she told me how difficult it was for her to break the eating habits that were engraved in her brain by her mother and her grandmother and how long it took her to learn to listen to her body and to eat only when she wants and what her body really wants. And now, it makes some sense, I am coming back to the statement that was made on this WBEZ show – there is, indeed, no “one size fits all” in what, when, and how we eat. The same as one shouldn’t blindly follow “what everybody says is healthy” patterns, they probably should not follow “traditional” means “better pattern.

All of this was to say that I am really happy and proud of Lena for breaking her old habits and making positive changes in her lifestyle. Now, she does not say that “she does not like strength training,” and I am sure that very soon, she will be faster than me on her bike!

A Little Bit Foggy Sunrise

It was not even a fog, just a mist, and the morning was balm.

It was not exactly like this IRL, but it was very close!

Another Chicago Weekend – 2

Sunday was equally amazing. As it became our tradition, when Lena comes in summer, we do Loop activities on Saturday and Rogers Park activities on Sunday. And once again, it’s great that she enjoys the same activities as me.

We started the day with a bike ride. In the past, Lena was way slower than me, and she said she didn’t do much biking this season either, but somehow, this time she kept pace with me without any issues. If I only knew, I would suggest her to wake up earlier, and we could bike all the way to the Field Museum. But even a relatively short (15 miles) ride was great!

A spectacular sunrise!
Continue reading “Another Chicago Weekend – 2”

Another Chicago Weekend

I love having Lena in Chicago because she likes the same things that I like, so her favorite weekend is also my favorite. If she had a mini-vacation (which I hope she did), I also had it!

She arrived on Friday, and we even had some time to talk, but I was too tired to stay up late (on Thursday evening, my Amazon Fresh order was delayed, and I had to wait until 11:30PM!). But the next two days, we had a blast!

I made salmon and broccoli quiche for breakfast. My balcony is in the middle of repair, but they allowed us to but the furniture back during the non-working hours
Millenium Park had only two entrances open because of the 20-years celebration, and some parts were permanently closed, so we had to go through security multiple times
We were the first to enter the Art Institute on Saturday, and it was my third time to see the Georgia O’Keeffe exhibit.
We also saw the Christina Ramber retrospective, but I didn’t like it as much as I thought I would.
Then we went to the Member’s Lounge Bar
… and took tons of pictures of ourselves. BTW, Lena talked me into wearing a dress that day, saying that her only opportunity to wear a dress was when she visited me in Chicago.
Continue reading “Another Chicago Weekend”

Lena In Chicago

Lena arrived an hour after my friends from Helsinki left for the airport (and I am happy to report that despite the World-Wide-IT Crisis, they safely made it home). I barely finished washing the sheets and towels.

Lena brought lots of cherry-flavored goodies, some fresh pickles from her garden, and lots of enthusiasm for doing touristy things in Chicago. And if you ask me – I am always in!

Georgis O’keefee for the third time 🙂

The World IT Crisis And Departure

Of course, it had to be on my friend’s departure day! On Thursday evening, their return flight was canceled, and new tickets were issued. We wondered why, and then, in the morning, I heard the news! Only then we realized how lucky they were to get an alternative flight!

Other than that, it was a perfect last vacation day for them. The weather was ideal; they went to the beach in the morning while I worked my half-day, then I went on a bike ride with Roma, and then we all went for ice cream across the street at Charmer’s.

And at the last moment, I remembered to make some hot chocolate for them to sample before departure!

This Week

I barely saw my friends this week! On Tuesday, I hosted a Chicago PUG meetup, which meant a thirteen-hour workday. On Wednesday, we went to the Grant Park concert, but it was with only two of them and today, I have a Howard/Evanston Community Board meeting (and I had to stop to see my mom between my work and this meeting!). Everything is important, and I knew that week was going to be like that, but still…

My friends are leaving tomorrow, and I have a feeling that we didn’t have time to do at least a half of the things I wanted to do with them!

Not related – today’s breakfast at work:

Other Things To Do In Chicago

This week, I didn’t take any time off, and moreover, I had something after work almost every day, so my guests were mostly on their own. I am glad that they finally realized that biking is a way to get around, that they were at the beach pretty much every day, and that they could explore the city on their own.

Today, the interested parties went to the Grant Park Music Festival concert. The highlight of today’s show was Rachmaninov’s “Rapsody on a Theme of Paganini,” with Clayton Stephenson as a piano soloist. That was an outstanding performance, and the audience was ecstatic. I bet my friends never heard Rachmaninov that way! Clayton Stephenson said that he thinks of this piece as American music (and he has good reasons for that if you ask me). And the way this piece was performed today – OMG, it was something! And definitely American 🙂

Before the concert, I took my friend to the Riverwalk, and then they finally had a chance to taste Chicago Hot Dog, so two more boxes were checked!