Hettie’s Reflections – Blog Posts

Work-Life Balance:)

I worked from home on Friday, and it was surprisingly good. Most times, my attempts to work from home result in frustration: I spend time prepping my meals and doing something around the house, thereby spending less time on work activities and thereby not being able to step away for a bike ride or for a beach break. Since I started working at my current company, each time I tried to work at home during Boris’ visits, I would regret it and resent not doing work and not doing non-work.

But last Friday was different, and now I want to build on this positive experience. I think that the perfect start of the day was the decisive factor: I did strength training first thing in the morning, then Boris and I went swimming, and when we were done, I ordered a takeout breakfast at Charmers. It’s a little bit over a ten-minute walk from the beach, so our order was ready just in time. We ate breakfast at home, and I started my workday right after that. It was a little bit later start time than my usual, but that was fine with everyone, and then I could work without interruptions. It was a very busy day, I had to service three internal customers simultaneously, and I was up to the challenge.

We had lunch together, and I was able to finish my workday at 4:30, so we had time to bike afterward and do a couple of other things. As I said, I hope to reproduce this success in the future.

***

The weekend was doing nothing in the best possible way – a long bike ride, more lake, and me cooking our favorite dishes. Boris hinted that in Finland, they eat salmon soup even when it’s hot outside, so I made some.

I also made tiramisu, and we ate it all 🙂

It was too hot for outdoor activities at midday (at least for Boris), so we spent a lot of time just sitting inside and talking. It was great since I constantly feel that we do not have enough time for that, and I do not want to put my life on hold until retirement!

We Live In Pre-War Time

Boris cited one of the BBC commentators about us “living in pre-war time.” That was when we once again, for the hundredth time, talked about “Western countries trying to prevent a full-scale war.” And for the hundredth time, we talked about pre-WWII times and Czechoslovakia, and attempts “to prevent the full-scale war,” and how these attempts “to make things better” ended up making things worse.

And thinking about last week’s prisoner swap and what we now know about how it is related to Navalny’s murder – it’s basically the same thing. People involved in this process from the Western side were trying to do the best possible thing and stay up to their values, and that led to the murder and to Putin going unpunished.

And I don’t know why I am writing this for the hundredth time. I have enough evidence of businesses making extremely poor decisions in favor of “this very minute profit.” I have seen it for years, and I have very little hope that things like this will change. Not even in observable future, just – never.

Mornings At The Beach

Why have I never done it before?! Why did nobody tell me about paradise right here?! How many mornings were wasted!

Boris went to the beach early in the morning on Monday when I went to work, and he said going there “before breakfast” was great. I suggested we do the same on Friday (I decided to work from home on Friday), and that was amazingly good. Today, we did it again, and it was even better. It changes how your day goes! Walking into Lake Michigan toward the rising sun, feeling the first touches of the daylight on your face, immersing into the warm water (almost warmer than the air!) – priceless… I will try to do it as many times as possible as long as the weather stays like that…

(and in case you are wondering – I biked before that!)

TIME Magazine: A Breathing Break

I know that, and I have known about it since the time I realized how regular yoga classes helped me to become a different person and to control my mood much better (not like I always use this technique, but still! However, that’s the first time I read about using it in the work environment, and not to alleviate an individual person’s mood, but to globally improve the workplace.

Link to the article.

When we talk about effective business strategies, breathing is probably not a concept that crosses our minds. These conversations more often than not gravitate toward the conventional markers of success—market share, competitive advantage, profit margins, and growth trajectories. We picture meticulously crafted plans that map out the path to achieving corporate goals, driven by data analytics, market research, and financial projections.

But what if we took a radically different approach, one where we measured our success on prioritizing our employees well-being, rather than solely focusing on the company’s output? What if we prioritized one simple thing that we all have access to and can deploy at any time: the power of our breath.

It may seem “airy-fairy” or far leaning into the new age movement, but incorporating well-being and mental health into business strategies is starting to gain ground as a transformative trend. It turns out that a happy and healthy workforce is not just a moral imperative—it is a competitive advantage.

In an age where the business landscape is quickly evolving, the modern market demands more than just traditional tactics; it calls for a holistic approach that integrates the human element at its core, especially with the rise of AI. We’ve seen that the next generation of talent is demanding more from their employee experience, one where how they feel at work matters just as much as how they are compensated. And the truth is that companies that actively support their employees’ mental and emotional health are also seeing improvements in productivity, morale, and retention.

In reports from Gallup’s December 2023 poll, nearly half of U.S. adults, upwards of 45%, reported frequently feeling stress, and this is undoubtedly magnified in the workplace. Many organizations think they have a people problem when, in fact, they have a leadership opportunity. A critical component of effective leadership is identifying whether you are operating from a state of fear, or a state of love. When we are stressed our decisions and behaviors are driven from an unconscious emotional operating system and we contribute to a culture of fear-based incentivizing.

The science of stress can be broken down like this: when someone faces a stressful situation, the amygdala—a part of the brain involved in processing emotions—sends a distress signal to the hypothalamus. Upon receiving the distress signal, the hypothalamus activates the sympathetic nervous system by sending signals through autonomic nerves to the adrenal glands. These glands then release the hormone epinephrine (adrenaline) into the bloodstream. As epinephrine spreads throughout the body, several physiological changes occur. The heart starts beating faster, increasing blood flow to the muscles, heart, and other vital organs, while restricting the blood cells in our forebrain. Pulse rate and blood pressure rise, and breathing becomes quicker.

With our blood now flowing to our limbs in order to help us, quite literally, flee the situation, our cognitive processing, things like rational and logical decision-making, is impaired. We are now operating from a conditioned state of survival, but the challenge is that in the modern-day world, we’re not very good at distinguishing threats from non-threats. And if our limbic system (whose function is to process and regulate our emotions, memories, instincts, and moods) isn’t attuned to know the difference in what we perceive as threats, our decision-making abilities can quickly become compromised. For example, when receiving a distressing e-mail, your body will activate the same stress response that it would if you were evading a saber-toothed tiger back in primitive times. So the experience of dealing with the e-mail includes restricted blood flow to the conscious mind and a reduced conscious awareness of the correlating physiological responses. In essence: you forget to breathe. And this greatly reduces anyone’s capacity to make an intelligent decision or regulate their behavioral or emotional responses in a productive way.

Studies have demonstrated that various emotions correlate with distinct breathing patterns, and by altering our breath, we can influence our emotional state. For instance, when experiencing joy, our breathing tends to be steady, deep, and slow. Conversely, feelings of anxiety or anger often lead to irregular, rapid, and shallow breaths. By consciously adopting the breathing rhythms linked to specific emotions, we can effectively induce and experience those emotions ourselves.

In other words, if the order is reversed and the physiological state is consciously changed, it can have an immediate effect on the psychological state. The quickest way to do this is by employing conscious breathing. One can use the breath to reset their own system, and it can also be employed with a team to release stress and get everyone energetically connected. This can be especially helpful before a team strategy meeting, creative planning, or even at the start of each day since everyone comes in with their own stressors from their individual lives.

One such breath is an “Emotional Clearing Breath,” which can be used to change your energy and calm the nervous system down. First, a negative feeling that needs clearing should be identified. Focus on a recent event or encounter that resulted in a negative reaction. Try to get to the root of what triggered the reaction—not the act itself but what the event activated within. This will be a core emotion like feeling unworthy, unseen, unlovable, unvalued, inadequate, insignificant, helpless, or rejected.

Next, engage in diaphragmatic breathing. Use the inhale breath to fill the belly like a balloon, deepening the breath into the lungs, then empty the lungs and slightly contract the belly to release the air on the exhale. Continue to take big, deep breaths in through the nose while restricting the throat, resulting in an oceanic-sounding breath. Then exhale the air out of the mouth, keeping the restriction of the throat and maintaining the oceanic sound—as if fogging up a mirror with the breath. Once in a rhythm, repeat this inhale-exhale cycle of breath for four rounds and then take a few moments to come back to a natural pattern of breathing. Anchor into the present moment and notice the peacefulness that occurs.

What often stands in the way of our growth is our attachment to outcomes, rather than our attention to our feelings. Breath is the simplest and most effective tool that allows us to respond rather than react and override negative feelings and beliefs. Strategies that emphasize human connection, a collective purpose, and emotional intelligence are proving to be just as crucial as those centered on fiscal prudence. When we include these softer dimensions, we are not abandoning rigor or profitability. Instead, we are enhancing our capacity to connect with customers, inspire employees, and build resilient organizations that thrive in the long term.

Let’s get back to the basics and reconnect with our breath as we recognize that the most successful strategies are those that balance the head with the heart, numbers with narratives, and profits with principles. These multidimensional strategies are not just a response to a changing world—they are the blueprint for building businesses that are resilient, sustainable, and truly impactful. In doing so, we will pave the way for a more inclusive, innovative, and humane approach to business that meets the needs of our time.

Ukraine Month In Chicago

August is officially a Ukraine Month in Chicago, and I only learned about it on August 1, and only because I went to the Daley Plaza Marked and saw the ceremony of the official proclamation of Ukraine Month:

Igor said he learned about this even at the last minute, but I didn’t know anything at all. It was very heart-warming to hear the words of solidarity and support for Ukraine, especially now when people’s attention is mostly focused on elections, and the war seems far away and irrelevant to way too many people…

Official news feed for the event.

You Can’t Plan Anything With This Weather

It’s a very hot week! Boris tried to choose a week with less chance of a heat wave when we planned his coming, but it ended up being a week with several extremely hot and humid days.

I had three good-seat tickets for a “Broadway Rocks!” concert at Millennium Park, and Boris and I agreed we could go (the tickets were originally for my French friend and her daughter, who were going to visit me but had to cancel). Retrospectively, I should have returned these tickets and gone to the indoor Bruckner concert on Friday, but it was hard to tell in advance: even when you know the weather forecast, it’s hard to say how it will feel.

It was definitely too hot, and also the music was not what I was hoping for (and not Boris’ thing) so it was almost a disaster. My neighbor to whom I gave the third ticket said she enjoyed it, but maybe she was just polite. I felt like I ruined the evening for all of us, but I finally agreed with Boris that it was impossible to tell in advance.

For this visit, I tried to minimize the outings and just come home after work – partially because of the weather and partially because I felt like we were not doing it enough – just two of us being together, not on a mission.

On the other hand, we had one unexpectedly positive experience: going swimming in the evening. I never went to Fargo Beach to swim before (technically speaking, it is not allowed 🤷🏻‍♀️), but it is a three-minute walk from our building, and – well, it’s the same lake, and it’s getting deep pretty fast.

Morning Biking

The days are becoming shorter, and I see the sunrise only by the time I reach Montrose Harbor.

Before Sunrise

Tandem Disaster

We (Boris, Anna, and I) have been talking about getting a tandem bike for Boris and I for a while. According to Anna, the major challenge with all regular tandems would be that they all are built with the presumption that the bigger person is sitting in the front seat.

We knew that if we were going to get a tandem, there war going to be a custom build, but we still wanted to try on some “regular” tandem, just to have an idea. One of Anna’s friends owns a tandem, and she arranged us to try it out.

It ended up being a total disaster. I was scared to death because I didn’t feel I could maintain the balance with a bigger weight behind me. Apparently it is different from when I have a shopping bag in the rear!

I tried several times, and I was unable to go for more than five feet. Anna said, she would try to be i n the front instead of me, and she managed to make a circle that way

Still, with this particular one, Boris could not pedal, because his knees were touching the handle bars.

I still want to try and to come up with some solution which would work for us, but looks like it has to be a totally crazy design.

Mom’s Walking Sticks

During my mom’s last doctor’s visit (we switched to the new primary care doctor) I mentioned that she refuses to use her cane when walking, and as a result, she falls often. The doctor suggested trying Nordic sticks instead: “Canes are for old people,” he said, winking, – “for those who can’t walk. and we are going to exercise, like active people.” I purchased the sticks, and on Saturday, we had a “test drive”.

I was surprised with how fast my mom got it. I noticed that she is not operating with her left hand the same way as with her right (and I asked her whether she keeps doing her hand exercises and reminded her to keep doing them. Also, I will need to check on whether she is using the sticks on her morning walks. But still, I was ready for her “I can’t do it,” but she did.

Thingers crossed!

Milwaukee Air And Water Show

Boris arrived on Friday night, and on Sunday morning, we were on our way to visit Anna and her Family in Milwaukee. That weekend was an Air and Water Show weekend, the same show that came to Chicago a couple weeks later.

My last two attempts to watch it in Chicago were not very enjoyable because you could hardly see things from the northern beaches, and getting closer takes time, and you end up in a huge crowd. In Milwaukee, it turned to be a way better!

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