Th Night Ministry Founder Passed Away

I learned about the passing of Father Behrens two days ago, and today, the official email notification arrived in my inbox.

April 20, 2024

Dear Henrietta,

It is with a heavy heart that we share the news of the passing of Rev. Tom Behrens, the Founding President & Former CEO of The Night Ministry. Tom’s vision, dedication, and unwavering commitment to serving our community’s most vulnerable members left an indelible mark on our organization and the city of Chicago.As we mourn the loss of Tom and keep his family and loved ones in our thoughts, we also celebrate his remarkable legacy. Tom’s passion for helping others, particularly our unhoused and marginalized neighbors, inspired all who knew him. As the organization’s first employee, he laid the foundation of compassionate service that still anchors The Night Ministry today. And as our Founding President & Former CEO, Tom provided visionary leadership for decades that deepened and widened our impact in Chicago.In 1976, a coalition of diverse congregations hired Tom to perform outreach to individuals on the streets of Chicago at night in response to loneliness, poverty, and homelessness in the community. As Tom told the Chicago Sun-Times the following year, it was his job “to be present to them, to be available, to listen.”As Tom pioneered street outreach in Chicago by holding office hours from the trunk of his car and visiting bars and all-night diners, the encounters he had raised his awareness of gaps in the availability of services to Chicago’s unhoused population, specifically in the areas of shelter for youth and health care. And as his awareness grew, he took action.In the late 1980s, Tom played a key role in successfully advocating for the passage of new state legislation allowing nonprofits to operate group shelters for unhoused youth, which had been prohibited in Illinois. As a result, the landscape of youth services in the state changed dramatically as opportunities became available for unhoused, runaway, and at-risk youth to access safe shelter. The Night Ministry launched its first youth shelter, with 16 beds, a few years after the legislation was enacted. Today, across several Youth Programs, we provide shelter, supportive services, and critical resources to hundreds of young people and their children each year.Tom also oversaw the launch of The Night Ministry’s Outreach & Health Ministry Program in the early 1990s, when the organization outfitted a recreational vehicle to offer mobile healthcare services to individuals who struggled to access more traditional means of care, such as clinics or physicians’ offices. Initially focused on Chicago’s North Side, today our Health Outreach Program brings free medical care, case management, and resources like food and clothing to neighborhoods across the city and even to public transit, serving thousands of people each year.Tom’s tireless efforts transformed countless lives and set the standard for compassion and advocacy in The Night Ministry’s work. His spirit will continue to guide us as we carry forward his mission of providing human connection, housing support, and health care to those who are unhoused or experiencing poverty.

In gratitude,

Carol J. Sharp, MPA
President & CEOMichael V. Borromeo
Chair, Board of Directors

I was extremely privileged to know Father Behrens in person. Moreover, when many years ago, my friend from Russia, who worked for a similar organization in Sain-Petersburg, “The Night Bus,” asked for guidance and emotional support; Father Behrence wrote a long letter to her. I just found it!

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The Start of Women History Month

From February to March: on Wednesday, which was still February :), I went to the event which celebrated women who advocate for Equity, Diversity and Inclusion, hosted by Wintrust. I had never been inside this building, one of those that make the Chicago Financial District and embody the Gloden Era of our city, when the buildings were designed to ensure the customers that their savings are secure :). I love LaSalle Street, it’s silhouette, and each of it’s buildings!

Wintrust’s Grand Banking Hall in it’s glory

There was wine, cocktails, and bites, and some desserts at the end, and there was a lot of people! Mostly women, and many, like me, didn’t know a single person in the room, but everybody was happy to start a conversation.

The panelists were great, although I am starting to resent the idea that “women have to put their careers on pause to have children.” However, there was one thing which struck me most, because it echoed a conversation we had during the other panel two days earlier. Incredibly smart and gorgeous Tope Sadiku, who is of Nigerian origin but lived most of her life in the UK, mentioned how she rejected the offers to participate in any Black issues discussions, panels and committees, because she didn’t know the UK Black issues, and could not meaningfully contribute. The keyphrase was “I didn’t know I was Black until a came to the US.” At that moment, I recalled the question from one of the participants of our Black History Month panel at work. He asked our speaker whether, in his opinion, Black people or women are in more of a disadvantage at the workplace. I think that even if a workplace prejudgement might be close to equal, to hostility is proportionally on the side of race.

Being Black

The Back History Month is officially over, but my mind is occupied by conversations I had recently.

For our Black History Month event in the firm, we had a panel with Nwabueze Phil-Ebosie, the Director of Engineering at ComEd. He came to the US from Nigeria when he was seventeen, and after obtaining a degree in Engineering from Perdue, he worked at ComEd for his entire career. He talked about his experience of coming to the US from a place “where everybody looked like him,” to a very different environment. The moderator’s questions were mostly about the challenges our guest experienced during his career at ComEd, and about what needs to be done to attract more Black talent to Engineering, and how to create the environment that foster innovation. Then there was time for questions from the audience, and many of them were more pointed.

As it often happens, I was an icebreaker, asking him how he keeps himself opened to new ideas working at the same organization for eighteen years (later I got the mike twice, asking about the fear of failure which accompanies any innovation and about starting to engage into STEM earlier, in the middle school the latest). Then other people started to come with their questions, and very soon the most important question came up: How you deal with hostility? Phil-Ebosie said that in the beginning of his career he it often about choosing his battles, and often times choosing focusing on work and ignoring hostility, but now he would not tolerate hostility and would calls things out. One of our coworkers asked whether wouldn’t it be that if he won’t be silent in his earlier days, he won’t rise to the position where he is now, and won’t have the power to call the hostilities out. He replied that he just thinks that now is the time, but I think that the person who asked was not convinced.

I was not convinced either, especially having several conversations with before that night, and after the meeting was over, we all moved to the cafeteria and the conversation continued. I do not want to share personal information which people related to me, but many stories shocked me, even though I consider myself to be “informed on that subject.” The scariest part is that many things you would have thought are the things of the past, are happening right now. It makes me angry when I hear that Black people state that they understand that the passerbyes think about them as a thread, as “big Black man,” and ll these things. Again, i do not want to dig into personal stories, but OMG! Even at school, even among neighbors… I am aware that there is very little I personally can do, but I can’t sit still and do nothing. At least in my little corner of the world, I want to make a difference. I am not the right person for that, as people mentioned that there should be conversations, and can’t be rushed, and we should find common grounds, and yes, it takes time…

WTTW Event

The invitation to this event came from WTTW directly, and I immediately replied, because the topic of homelessness is on my top priorities list.

Below is a description of the event, which I copied from the link above (as usual, knowing very well that people do not like to click on the links!)

Four walls with a door that locks. Sufficient heat and food. A place to be safe, to rest, and to live. Most of us take these essentials for granted but, on any given day, it is estimated that as many as 65,000 men, women, and children are currently experiencing homelessness on Chicago’s streets, in shelters, or while “couch surfing.” Many are suffering from mental health issues or addiction, and as a result, they may be estranged from family and friends. Without a fixed address, any rental or credit history, forms of identification, and other basic resources, jobs and stability can be unattainable.

“Housing is the foundation for stability and security for people,” says Nicole Bahena, Vice President of Community Partnerships at All Chicago, an organization dedicated to ending and preventing homelessness. “Without it, it’s difficult to keep up with anything else in life – taking care of yourself, finding and keeping a job, getting medical care, caring for your family.”

In a series of documentaries, Firsthand: Homeless will go beyond the stereotypes society often assigns to unhoused individuals through the firsthand perspectives of real people who are navigating its complexities and hardships. And through expert talks, news reporting, and conversations with thought leaders and community members, the project will explore possible solutions.

“When you’re homeless, you’re [just] surviving. There’s not much room to live.”

How do people find themselves homeless in Chicago, and how do they survive? Turns out, each person’s story is different.

Yolanda, grandmother of four, lives with her fiancé Clarence in a tent under the Damen Avenue bridge, in the shadow of a Costco and a block from the abandoned Lathrop Homes where she once lived and worked as a live-in aide to a man who later died, leaving her without a home. She grapples with health issues, including depression, and spends her days panhandling for loose change on the street above her head. Despite it all, Yolanda shares what she has with others and stays true to her faith. As she watches her young grandsons playing at the beach, she knows that she must keep going for them. “Just hold on and have faith,” she says, hopeful that better times are coming.

Dan is also living on the streets. Homeless for more than 12 years since his suburban home went through foreclosure, he now kills time by riding the L and walking around the city. He takes viewers on a tour of some of his regular downtown haunts, including the 11th floor stairwell of a public parking garage where he sleeps. He is surprisingly sanguine about his situation, but it’s clear that navigating life without a home is challenging. Avoiding crimes against the homeless and overcoming an ongoing heroin addiction are Dan’s immediate concerns, but his search for housing just might soon be successful.

At least Jackie has a roof over her head. She lives in a homeless shelter with two of her three young children – out of necessity, her youngest child is living with her ex-husband. She works part-time as a bus operator for a subcontractor for the University of Chicago, a long daily commute from across the city. Jackie is attempting to mend fences with her mother, who previously struggled with drug addiction – it was an altercation between them that landed her and the kids on the streets in the first place. She is hoping to be approved for an apartment for her family soon, which will afford them some freedom and privacy.

Brian feels fortunate to have obtained a transitional apartment at St. Andrew’s Court and a job through the CTA’s Second Chance program. He explains that he spent years moving in and out of the prison system and cites a lack of stable, affordable housing as a key reason why he kept reoffending. To give back, he also works with the Chicago Coalition for the Homeless on the city’s proposed Bring Chicago Home ordinance that is designed to help others in his situation.

Like Brian, Kimberly is also working to improve conditions for unhoused people. With her toddler Jasmine, she has been part of a transitional living program since the nursing school she had been attending pulled a large portion of her financial aid when she became pregnant. As she tackles several daunting mental health issues, she strives to make lives better for homeless youth – even heading to Washington, DC to lobby Congress – and dreams of a better life for Jasmine.

Throughout the upcoming year, get to know the stories of people across Chicago who are experiencing and addressing homelessness through five documentaries; four talks by community and thought leaders offering insights, context, and possible solutions; text, audio, and visual journalism; a companion discussion guide for schools, libraries, and community organizations; and, in partnership with The Night Ministry, All Chicago, and the Chicago Public Library, community conversations extending the reach of the project into the many neighborhoods across Chicago.

As I said, I signed up without knowing any details. However, there was something else going on for the past three months.

I always make volunteering for the Night Ministry my top priority, but still, I barely went there for the past three months. It was a combination of things: my travels, Anna’s surgeries, my overall busy schedule, but also the budget cuts in the Night Ministry and the staff shortage. The last time I was there was a real disappointment because the staff was busy on a call with one of the families, and the youth were all in their rooms, and I ended up cooking solo and leaving. I emailed our volunteer coordinator to discuss what we wanted to do next, and we agreed to have a “Make your own pizza” night, but then, to my horror, I realized that I was double-booked for that night! And then he emailed me saying that he was transitioning to a different position, and I would have to coordinate with other people (fortunately, I knew one person from that list!)

This one person informed me that they could only arrange something on Tuesdays, and my Tuesdays are pretty much off-limits. Boris told me that I needed to figure out how I could fit this activity in so that it would be meaningful (which means at least twice a month).

That was my state of mind when I came to the WTTW event, and just when I entered, I saw all these people from the Nigh Ministry and the person who was my new contact, and we sat down and talked. She relayed to me that there will be no dedicated coordinator in the observable future and that they have no budget for the events anymore. I asked her what her plans were, and she said that she would be learning alongside me. And that’s when I realized that I couldn’t walk away.

Also, when everybody was leaving the event, I recognized the face of one young person in the audience and nodded in his direction. He said: I remember you! You were cooking at the ODS!

… I have a feeling that my leadership skills will be needed!

P.S. I didn’t get a chance to ask my question during the recording, and my question is – why do we have ten different lines for housing? Why the process is so convoluted? Why can’t we have a centralized database for people and housing resources? That’s where I would put money first!

Theft, Building Access, And What To Do About It

We had several cases of stolen packages in our building back in December, and you may remember that some of my outgoing mail (four packages with holiday cookies) was stolen as well. At that point, our association raised a question of rekeying the building, but many residents doubted that the theft had happened due to somebody having the building key. They thought that, most likely, the residents were buzzing visitors in without looking. I doubt that (everyone has windows facing the gate, and it takes a second to check). Also, I knew that my packages were stolen during the night hours. In December, everybody agreed to wait till we got new management in January.

A week ago, there was another case of theft, and the same as with me, it happened during the night hours. Once again, there was a conversation about the building re-keying, but this time, our board member related that this project is expensive, and she does not think it will help since the locks are not difficult to break. She even shared the link where you can buy a “lock gun” online.

At first, I was distraught with the decision not to rekey the building, and I was about to write an angry letter to the board, especially when they suggested I could have my packages delivered to a nearby Walgreens (it’s not “nearby,” and time is the most precious resource for me). But then I thought about it and reread the email one more time. This time, I realized that she was right and that locks do not stop thieves, and I am very well aware of that. If somebody is determined to steal, no lock will stop them. The theft does not exist when there is no reason for it. I thought about how I was always against “gating” oneself from the rest of the world and how now I was about to suggest just that, so something was wrong with my moral compass. And then I thought I already knew the answer: the only way to reduce crime, including theft, in my community is to improve the community itself. And my participation in the beat meetings and my new idea to get involved with Howard Community Board were all about that.

I often hear people complaining about the increasing number of homeless people on the streets of Chicago, and I hear their cries, “What do police think?!” I understand that seeing a lot of this misery is disturbing and unpleasant. And I hear some well-off people articulating that they want to be able to pay for never seeing “all that.”

Recently, I thought about how it felt on the streets of Chicago 150 years ago, when there were a lot of very poor people and very few rich people, and how these rich people felt walking the streets and seeing other people’s misery, and how they probably didn’t want to see it, and the policemen were here ready to remove the beggars from the public places. And how these rich people could isolate themselves from the reality behind the closed gates. And I do not want to be one of them.

And I do not want to be that

Gender Bias

There is one more episode that happened at PG Conf EU that I wanted to talk about. Several weeks before the conference, I received a dinner invite from the Swiss Postgres User Group for the third evening of the conference. Having my previous experience with that group, my original intention was to decline, but then I decided to give their organizer a third chance (he is a very nice person!) I accepted, and we went.

The group was bigger than their largest table could accommodate, so the restaurant added a smaller table, and somehow, Boris and I decided that we would have a better conversation if we chose the seats at this smaller table, especially because the organizer sat there as well.

Well, we were wrong. It was the same story as in the summer of 2022, after which I decided to “never-ever.” Six people at the table; Boris and I are the only two who do not speak German, and the conversation keeps going in German with the occasional “attempts” to talk to us on the usual topic: “So you are Russian, and you drink vodka.” BTW, it started when a Romanian at our table asked for still water, and the waiter brought a pitcher “which looked like vodka,” according to other people at the table. After the second round, I asked to drop this conversation; however, it continued. Another attempt to include us in the conversation was, “So you are from Chicago. And you traveled that far?..

I silently lamented the wasted time and thought about leaving when, all of a sudden, the conversation changed. These two, who were speaking German all the time and asking me about vodka, suddenly started to talk about Postgres, asking me questions, taking notes, and saying that their DBAs should buy my book.

On our way back to the hotel, Boris said he couldn’t understand why they suddenly started behaving “normally.” But I knew. It started after I saw them checking the conference schedule on their phones and asked them whether they decided where to go the next day. Apparently, until that moment, they thought that I was a plus one of Boris. And after I asked them which talks they liked and answered a professional question, they finally realized that talking to me may be helpful!

The moral of the story:

That’s why we need “Barbie talks” at community conferences.
“Never-ever”

	rmichaelroman on Can We Put Them To Work?
	Hettie D. on Monday Disaster
	chit74 on Monday Disaster
	Hettie D. on Monday Disaster
	rmichaelroman on Monday Disaster

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