Category: reflections

Tax Returns Reflections

I know that the title sounds weird, to put it mildly, but let me explain.

Financially, I had very different periods in my life, both very high and very low, both while living in Russia and in the USA. I frequently think about how much it has changed in my life, and what things money can or can’t buy. When I was sitting at the Lyric Opera watching Così fan Tutte, I remembered how I was watching this opera for the first time, many years ago, at the same Lyric Opera House, but from somewhere very high above. It was the same opera, with a similarly funny and cynical Despina, but I could barely see what was going on onstage, while this time I could see the singer’s facial expressions. And even this upper balcony ticket was not an ordinary thing back then.

So what about tax returns? After two turbulent tax seasons, when, due to some planning mistakes, I ended up owing taxes, I ended the 2025 tax year with a sizable surplus, largely due to my total donations amount. And it’s not only about me having more to give, but also about me knowing what can be tax-deductible.

During my first two or three years in the US, I was able to take the kids to the Field Museum or Aquarium only once or twice a year. And if I had bought a family membership back then, it would have paid off in two visits, but I never had enough money “right now” to make the purchase.

Moreover, what I didn’t know back then, and even later, was that all these memberships were tax-deductible, so there are even more savings which I never tried to utilize.

The same goes for different benefit events. Not only are you paying for a fancy dinner at the fundraiser, but you can also claim a tax deduction, and I take advantage of these opportunities very often. For the past two weeks, I was contemplating “to go – not to go” for the Night Ministry Gala. I usually go, but this year, since it’s the 50th anniversary, the event will be held in Gerardy (the same place as our corporate Christmas party), and it costs three times as much as usual. After looking at the price tag for the third time, I was about to say no when I realized this ticket would be tax-deductible, which switched me to the “why not”? Still thinking 🙂

Also, the advantage of “buying in bulk.” It’s not only about buying larger packages of food, which makes each unit cheaper, but it also applies to cultural events and entertainment. Subscription tickets are significantly cheaper than single tickets, but the one-time subscription price is out of reach for many, if not most, people. I remember what it took me when I bought a CSO subscription for the first time – the cheapest tickets in the house, the last row of the gallery!

I guess the moral of the story is that it’s great that many Chicago museums have free days, many have free access for SNAP recipients, and that anyone can borrow a free family museum pass for a week at the Chicago Public Library. But it’s definitely not enough.

***

I do not want to repeat the same thing again, namely that the workload is unimaginable, but it is still the case. I had a very difficult problem at work, and I couldn’t figure it out all day yesterday. The problem was urgent, but even if it wasn’t, I won’t be able to stop thinking about it or trying to resolve it. I finally figured it out today, along with two other problems (but these ones were way easier).

When I was able to figure it out, there was nobody around who could share my joy, and no one wanted to listen to the details. I ended up calling Boris, although it was rather late for him, but at least he understood the level of my happiness – he knew how much I was annoyed by this problem.

There is no pleasure in the world that could be compared with a techinical puzzle being solved, I am convinced! At least, that’s true for me :). The most potent drug 🙂

About “Change Anything” Book

I read this book right after I read the “Stolen Focus. ” I would never pick it up on my own because I believe I am capable of making any changes in my life I want, but it was highly recommended by one of my peers, and after reading other people praising this book on his blog, I thought that it might be useful to read as something I could recommend to others. In fact, I know that my abilities of “change anything” is completely non-transferable, and I was hoping to find some working strategies.

On the surface, this book should work, though I didn’t start recommending it. The book starts with describing the “willpower trap.” Citing the famous marshmallow study, the authors say:

Unfortunately, to this day most people draw the wrong conclusion from this study. They fall into what might best be called “the willpower trap.” They assume that the only reason (among many possible reasons) certain kids were better at delaying gratification than others was that nature had endowed them with more willpower.

Patterson, Kerry; Grenny, Joseph; Maxfield, David; McMillan, Ron; Switzler, Al. Change Anything: The New Science of Personal Success (p. 15). (Function). Kindle Edition.

However, their research lab proved that, in reality, these kids had skills, and when they taught other kids these skills, the level of success was significantly higher. Changing your personal behavior and learning specific skills are important, but only a small part. Equally, if not more important, are the changes to your social circle (hanging out with a different crowd) and changes to your physical environment.

I think I will soon have a chance to speak with a person who succeeded using these strategies, and I am very interested in hearing a real-life story.

The authors then detail six sources of influence which are standing on the way of people trying to make changes in their lives, such as breaking away from bad habits. These sources of influence are:

  • personal motivation
  • personal ability.
  • social motivation
  • social ability
  • structural motivation
  • structural ability

Each of them can work against you or with you, helping you achieve your goals. In the rest of the book, the authors detail the changes a person can make in each of these six directions and the specific skills that can be developed. Not only do they describe some success stories, but they also lay out the paths each person had to take and the specific changes people adopted in each case to reach their goals.

About The Radio And Being In Direct Reach

I just think that people in the US can’t really understand the concerns of the European nations regarding potential Russian aggression. Yes, there was a Cold War. Yes, there was “duck and cover,” building bomb shelters, and such. But the US never experienced an actual Russian aggression, so all these scares were and still are very abstract.

I thought about that when Boris showed me his recent purchase last week. It was more like a joke for him, but the backstory is worth mentioning.

This is a Philips radio, which also has a large flashlight and a built-in siren. It can be charged from a wall outlet or a USB port, but it also has a built-in solar battery and, as a last resort, a rotating handle that you can turn to generate some electricity by hand. And in addition, it can be used to charge other devices via USB.

Overall, it can be viewed as a perfect “rescue me if I am lost in the woods while hiking” device, except for one small thing. The first time this radio appeared in a store was when the Finnish government was seriously preparing for potential Russian aggression and asked all citizens to have a three-day food and water supply, and to note the location of their nearest bomb shelter.

Half of Europe experienced direct Russian aggression over the last hundred years. Many cities were shelled and partially or almost completely ruined. Many countries lost big chunks of their territory. It’s very real and very close. It’s in people’s memories. And I don’t know how to get it into my countrymen’s heads that it’s not OK.

Stolen Focus: A Short Review

I really liked the first half of Stolen Focus. I liked how the author described his initial frustration with his nephew’s inability to focus on real life and his own declining ability to focus, and how he originally attributed this to a lack of willpower (like most of us do). Then, he shifts from the idea that restoring focus depends on individuals to the understanding that there are certain societal forces and techniques used by social media and other online platforms that reward this behavior. After meeting and talking to people who claimed they could successfully break from these dependencies, he seems to be back to his original thought, and I like how he shows his thought process, going back and forth.

What I liked most was the concept of “cruel optimism”, which can be described as “you can overcome negative influence if you deploy certain techniques, and anyone can do this if they try.” I am guilty of doing a similar thing for many years, telling people that “if I could do it, they could do it as well.” It took me many years to learn to stop giving advice and explaining to people what and how they should do. I still fall into this behavior from time to time, but at least I recognize it and try to stop 🙂

The second half was less interesting because it mostly repeated well-known facts about the environment and general recommendations on how to minimize its impact, as well as rather generic self-help recommendations, so in the end, I was more disappointed than excited about this book, but I will definitely use the “cruel optimism” concept in my future discussions.

Firsthand Democracy

Yesterday, I was at the WTTW studio for a kickoff broadcast and stream event for FIRSTHAND: DEMOCRACY. The event description said:

We’ll preview the documentaries, hold a panel discussion about democracy in Chicago and Illinois, and field questions from local residents. Brandis Friedman, Chicago Tonight Alexandra and John Nichols Chief Correspondent and Anchor, will host this live studio audience event. 

Reading this description, I was under the impression that we would see the documentary, which didn’t happen – we saw only small excerpts of it. However, some of the people featured in the documentary were present either on the panel or in the audience and shared their thoughts.

WTTW will run this initiative for the whole year, documenting how individuals and local organizations are responding proactively in their own communities. FIRSTHAND: DEMOCRACYwill present documentary films, investigative reporting, and a series of public events and conversations focused on civic participation, accountability, and the role of everyday people in democratic life.

To be honest, I feel very sad as the 250 annivesary of the signing of the Declaration of Independence is approaching. I was anticipating this year, this date, for at least twenty years! I was imagining how awesome it will be to be here, and celebrate with the rest of the country. And now Trump ruined it all, and I am contemplating being out of the country on July 4.

This is probably a coward tactic, and probably the right thing to do is to be here and not let Tump ruin this day. It’s our day, not his. But I am unsure how I will feel. Yesterday’s event participants talked about the strategies one can deploy while talking with someone with opposed political views. They were giving really good advices about listening, finding out what drives this person’s views, what are their values, where they are coming from. It’s true that many people just do not have enough information, or do not have time or mental capacity to research information, or their information sources are very homogeneous, and as soon as thye are exposed to a variety of informaiton, their views might start shifting.

All is true. However, today, I wen to search for the photo which people reference as a “Rockwell Kent St-Paul photo,” and ran into the whole series of MN photos again. And started to cry again. I wll never get over it. The announcement that ICE is leaving Minnesota came out yesterday, confirmed and approved. Not just the 700 presiously announced, but basically everyone – the whole operation is shutting down. But I will never get over over it. I will never get over the fact that it had to be blood to make it happen. Death is irreversable.

The photo everyone is talking about

What I Want To Do In 2026

Boris and I spent a lot of time talking about how I should reorganize my life, at least for the next two years. Most of this time was me complaining about the things I feel are important but don’t have time to do.  I know that I am horrible with establishing priorities, and I didn’t make a lot of progress in prioritizing things for 2026.

My most important resolution for 2026 is to keep trying to plan my life better. So far, my progress is rather modest, but here are some things I want to do differently in 2026:

  • Boris and I agreed to try to have him visit Chicago less frequently but for longer periods of time. This might partially address the problem with him having huge difficulties with jetlag, but I am also mindful of the fact that when he is in Chicago, he can’t do many of the things he does in Helsinki, and I feel for him, because that’s exactly how I feel in Helsinki: I can’t do a lot of things I like doing in Chicago. So we will see whether this will work.
  • I thought about all the situations in 2025 when I had scheduling conflicts and/or had to change things multiple times because it was “too tight,” and now I am thinking about them even more in advance than I did last year. For example, I am planning to bake all my international cookies before Thanksgiving. Also, I already planned the dates when Lena can visit me in Chicago in the summer, and when I can visit her in Ann Arbor. I am planning the time when my granddaughters can visit me. All of this is in the calendar, so I won’t accidentally schedule anything on top of it.
  • I still need to figure out how to be more present in my friends’ lives, but at least I am prioritizing this.

I know that, for most people, my life looks too scheduled, even as it is now, and many have told me that living such an “overplanned life” is not fun. But I know I will be much happier if I can do more things from my “I want to do it” list, and I would rather have a rigorous schedule than not have time to do something.

We’ll see how it goes 🙂

And The Last Thing About 2025

One area where I felt I failed entirely is people relationships. I feel acutely that I didn’t do enough to keep my relationships and to reach out to people.  I neglected many of my friends, and I deeply regret it, because I need them, and I feel how much I miss them.

I was constantly in situations where I did not have an extra five minutes to message “how are you doing,” and I did not know what to do about it.

I am unhappy with pretty much everything in this area, and my most important goal for 2026 is to figure out how to change it.

A book About Russia’s Serfdom

Just finished this book (“The Serfdom in Russia”). I rarely blog anything about the books I read in Russian, but I wanted to share my thoughts about this particular one.

In the preface, the author states that “we” do not know much about this period of Russian history and that even progressive historians and political figures have always been non-specific about how and what exactly was going on during this period.

I thought that this statement didn’t apply to me, but I was wrong. I still hadn’t thought through many details, even when I knew them.

The book goes in-depth in describing the unthinkable treatment of serves, even by the “good masters,” but one tiny mention struck me the most. That’s when the author recalls the episode from War and Peace, when Natasha Rostova is ready to go to bed and calls her maid to blow out the candle by her bed instead of blowing it out herself. Perhaps the most striking thing was that I never noticed anything wrong about it before.

2025. Health And Wellness

Health

The most important health-related event of 2025 was regaining sight in my left eye. Just to be clear, my vision is not perfect, and my two eyes still see differently and are still not completely synchronized. But I can get around without glasses or contacts most of the time, and that gave me the long-forgotten level of freedom. My only inconvenience is that because of the lasic in my right eye, I can’t wear a multifocal on it anymore, which means that when I wear contacts, I need to put on reading glasses any time I need to read something, not just some of the time. And unfortunately, multifocal glasses do not help. But those are such minor problems compared to the situation two years ago that I can’t complain. I probably should try to get a better multifocal prescription.

Because of the eye surgeries, I missed at least one routine test, even though I promised my GP I would schedule it. Now I need to have three procedures in 2026 :), but I already scheduled everything, so chances are they all will happen.

I definitely feel aging this year; the first area is reduced flexibility, and the second is facial aging. I think I’ve come to terms with the latter and hopefully figured out how to age gracefully, but the first one is a concern. Last year, I noticed for the first time that if I do not practice yoga for more than a week, I lose flexibility, and if I do not practice specific poses for several weeks, I lose them as well. That was an alarm bell for me, and I am trying to be more consistent with yoga than ever before.

I forget words periodically, but it happens with the same frequency as it has been for the past three years – about once a week on average. I am keeping track of it and checking with my doctor. I am glad I asked to take a baseline test two years ago, so now I can compare myself to myself :).

Other than the above, 2025 was rather uneventful healthwise.

Physical Activity

I am reasonably happy with the level of physical activity this year. The biggest achievement was increasing biking distance (both individual rides and total mileage). This year, Bike the Drive was almost not challenging. All my indoor exercisers are on the same level as last year, although I figured out how to increase the intensity of my indoor biking.

I was not consistent with yoga; there were different reasons for that, but all came down to me not trying hard enough to make time, and that’s one of the things I am trying to change in 2026; I do not want to lose my flexibility.

Update: checking the app, I can confirm that most of my active calories came from more biking, and I was hitting higher daily totals during the biking season, especially in July and August. Funny enough, the exercise minutes were almost the same throughout the year.

Food

I have a follow-up appointment with my GP in February, because I need to figure out the reason for my cholesterol still going up, especially with the changes I made last year. Since it is not a one-time spike but a three-year trend, I want to get to the bottom of it.

Sleep

In 2025, I made serious efforts to increase my sleep duration to six hours. I know that my need for sleep increased slightly in comparison to my lifetime minimum, and I do need to switch from 5 – 5.5 hours to six. I am trying with moderate success, and I especially didn’t like the last five weeks of 2025, when I slept an average of just four hours a night. If not for this last stretch, I would feel more successful in this area.

Update: just checked the health app. According to it, my average sleep in 2025 was 5 h 18 min, with December being 4 h 37 min. Some months, the average was over 5h 30 min, reaching 5 h 40 – 5 h 50 min, but this didn’t stick. Also, I looked at the time when the app recorded “time in bed” in addition to sleep, and remembered that when I was trying to get to bed earlier, it resulted in more time in bed than more time sleeping. So I should probably set more realistic goals 🙂

To summarize: not bad, but lots of areas for improvement.