Last week, my mom told me, as she often says, that “she needs time when I won’t be in a rush, because she needs to tell me something and to show me something.” And if you think that I am dismissive and not paying attention to something important, I have tried to listen to “something important” many times in the past five years, so I sort of knew what was coming.

Still, I acknowledged the request and suggested that she probably could tell me something on that day, when I was not that rushed, and then we could sit together for another hour late in the week. She replied that “an hour was not enough” and she needs “half a day.” Realistically estimating her endurance, I could not imagine any activity for longer than two hours, and told her that I could come any time she wants on Saturday, so that she could have as much time as she needs (I was indeed flexible on Saturday, and knew it wouldn’t be half a day). She tried to ask “when it was convenient for me,” and I told her any time would work, so she asked me to come at 11 AM. Knowing her meal schedule meant that it wouldn’t be more than an hour and a half, and it was.

First, she said that she “wanted to show me where things are so that I know where to look when she passes away.” I already knew, because she showed it to me many times, but she took out three bags with documents again. There was a bag with Russian documents and another with American documents, so I told her it was all good and that she needed to keep them all. She was about to put everything away, but then she said: Oh, we didn’t go over the third one!

We started with the third one, and she showed me a purse which she had shown me before with some small amounts of dollars, euros, and rubles, which she used to carry with her when she still traveled. But then, she opened other envelopes, and I saw that there was a lot of money! In dollars, euros, and rubles! I said: Mom, why is this money here? We put all your money into the bank when you first came to the US! What I figured out looking at the receipts was that she brought this money with her when she first came (and later she was always telling me that she is afraid to carry money on her, so even when she still traveled, Boris had to bring her pension converted to dollars, back to the US.

My hypothesis is that she didn’t trust me when she came, and decided to stash some money “under the pillow,” just in case. And then she forgot about it, but not until recently, because I remember her showing me “everything” several times.

I took the US money, except for small bills, which I hope she will remember to use for tips and deposited it to the bank. Euros will travel to Helsinki. Rubles won’t go anywhere.

Oh, and as for the important things she wanted to tell me, it was something she told me multiple times previously, and with more details. But that’s what I expected, so I sat politely and listened.

For the past year or two, I have always written my schedule for mom on the whiteboard in her kitchen, listing when I will visit her, when I call her, and when I just email her because I would return home too late to call. Since she does not understand that “life happens,” and sometimes things can be delayed, I always add some extra time, and most times, I schedule emails instead of sending them when I am actually on my way home.

On Thursday, I was at Joffrey Ballet, and was immensely enjoying every moment of the performance when I saw a call from my mom coming up on my watch. Everything was on silent, of course, so I just clicked the hang-up button, but a minute later the call repeated. I pressed the red button again, and five minutes later, I saw a text message coming from my mom’s caregiver. You might imagine how I felt; however, I waited for the second intermission, and then got out into the foyer and looked at the text message. Since the message was simply I need to talk to you,” I dialed back, and it turned out that it was nothing related to my mom (and she didn’t know I was at the show). I answered her questions, and scheduled the email to my mom for the time I will be out of the theater: “Hi, all good, I am on my way home. I saw that you called. Perhaps you forgot I am watching a ballet tonight, but I hope you figured it out by now. Talk to you tomorrow!”

When I was already on the Red line. (and my scheduled email went out), I saw my mom calling me! She never calls me after nine, and it was 10:40, so to say I was surprised would be an understatement. I picked up the call and heard her shouting: I already took my dentures out, and my hearing aid out, but I saw your message and I wanted to let you know that my internet is down!”

Yes, that’s the only thing she considers an emergency, and that’s the only time she calls me …well, any time!

I emailed her a reminder about how to turn her modem off and back on. On Friday morning, she called me at work to report that this didn’t help, and she wouldn’t listen to my explanation that I really can’t talk at work. In the evening, since things were still not working, I asked Igor to stop by her, and it turned out that she accidentally put her computer into flight mode! I would never guess!