Category: everyday life

The Harm Of Cynicism

I didn’t want to add anything to the previous post because I felt it was important on its own. But there is one more thing I wanted to add. I think that cynucisn, he belief that people in general are greedy, dishonest, and untrustworthy, was (and still is) deeply engraved in Russian society, and in the heart and soul of every Russian. That’s where this belief of “stupid Americans” is coming from. And that’s why people are so unhappy, and do not believe that something good is possible. And don’t make any strides for change.

And that’s why I was the only smiling mother on the pictures which Igor’s classmates drew in his preschool for the Women’t Day.

And that’s why I felt immediately at home when I came to the US, despite of all financial hardships.

And that’s why I am so furious about PostgresPro. .

Hidden Brain: Cynicism and Scepticism

You 2.0: Fighting Despair

This Hidden Brain episode is called “Fighting Despair,” but I became really focused when it came to the second part: the cynicism and the skepticism as an alternative. Before I heard this episode, I never thought about a formal definition of these concepts. Here is how the psychologist Jamil Zaki defines them:

Continue reading “Hidden Brain: Cynicism and Scepticism” →

Fidelio

I never heard anything except for the overture to “Fidelio.” I do not think it was ever on stage in the Soviet Union (likely because the theme of the opera is the imprisonment of a political rival), and it was rarely performed in the US as well.

My friend and I were wondering how far the opera “modernization” would go; we both had a couple of traumatic experiences of that kind recently. However, the production was amazing! Everything fit really well in the context of the modern prison, and an amazing woman whose courage saves the world prompted somebody behind us to start chanting Ka-ma-la! 😀

And the voices were extraordinary!

Igor’s Birthday

Today was Igor’s birthday, and obviously because of the situation with my mom, our minds were not 100% on the celebration. I am glad that mom was well enough to go to the Chayhana cafe. I can’t judge their Middle asian food, but Russian dishes exceeded expectations (desserts could be better though).

it was not an easy year for Igor, and I am glad that he feels good about where he is now. Proud of his accomplishments and of his personal growth 🙂

Books

I didn’t have time even to mark books as read on Goodreads, and it was only when I waited for my last delayed flight that I finally caught up with my reading. Not all of the books I read or listened to are listed below.

May Contain Lies. I mentioned this book in connection with the podcast I listened to some time ago. The book has even more examples of (mis)interpreting the results of surveys, researches, and such. Really useful, especially for people who have very strong in their opinions, like me 🙂

Moral Decision Making. A series of lectures from the Great Courses. It was the first time I listened to anything from the Great Courses, and I liked it! The series consisted of twenty-four half-hour lectures, and here are some excerpts from the course description:

Whether or not we’re aware of them, we make important ethical decisions all the time – as professionals, consumers, citizens, parents, sons and daughters, and friends. These 24 thought-provoking lectures offer you the chance to reflect on some of the most powerful moral issues we face in our daily lives: Is it ever OK to lie? What are our moral obligations to others? What is the key to living the good life? <…>. Engaging stories and thought experiments bring these issues to life, showing what different philosophical theories have to say about real-world ethical dilemmas.

According to Professor Martin, the trick is to understand that the mind is like a parachute; it only works when it’s open. Rather than take a side in any particular debate, this course provides a framework for thinking through a host of debates and dilemmas from all sides. Through it all, Professor Martin is a sympathetic guide, helping you think through some of our most complex decisions.

The last sentence describes what I liked most about this course: I believe that morals and ethics are very logical, and that “at large” doing good is profitable for an individual, and Professor martin talks a lot about it. Of course, according to these course, the best thing that happened in my life was completely unethical (but I know that! and I can’t talk myself into admitting my wrong). Still, this is one of very few pieces in my digital library which I might go back to listen to again.

The Year of Less

When I started listening to this book, I though: I know that all, what can a younger person tell me about savings, nit buying things – I’ve done it, and I’ve done it successfully. BTW, I do not remember why I chose this title – was it on a weekly recommendation list from Audible, or in TIME magazine, or in the “daily deals.” To my surprise, after I finished listening, I realized that I forgot about some techniques, and about small ways not to overspend, and thought that I might resme some of these practice.

The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes – I am a fan of the Hunger Games, and I do not care if somebody is going to criticize me for that. I really loved this “book zero,” and I am looking forward for the next title in this series.

Friday

Today, I was in the office for the whole day for the first time since last Thursday. The workday was a living hell: I had multiple open issues, and I had to act like a customer support chat, replying to multiple people simultaneously. Plus, scheduling a couple of mom’s follow-ups, a CT scan, etc. Working on multiple issues was the worst, though.

Still, it’s a first step toward returning to normal. I stayed at work a little bit late, but then I went straight home and talked to my mom only over the phone. And I actually browsed the internet for the first time in several days. I am not 100% sure what I did, but I didn’t have to go/do/watch, and for the first time in a week, I started to think about what I would be doing after work.

I have several posts that have been in drafts since my trip two weeks ago, so maybe I will finish them over the weekend.

All Updates

A side note: I credit myself for two responsible actions. First, when I got a call that my mom fell and was taken to the hospital, I ate before rushing there. And second, when she was already home on Saturday, I asked Igor to stay with her for an extra hour and went to the beach because I knew it was my last opportunity of the season. I said thank you to the lake, to the warm clean water, and to that amazing summer.

Those were the last two responsible actions on my part. Although the second CT scan didn’t show any negative dynamics, the doctor still didn’t want to let my mom go back home. All the doctors kept telling me about horrible things that could happen if my mom fell one more time and insisted she had to be supervised 24/7 if we wanted to take her home. Mom didn’t want to be supervised, she didn’t want to make any changes in her routine, and she repeatedly said that she better die than like “like that.”

It was great that Anna could come over and stay until Tuesday afternoon. Mom was thrilled to see her, and I could take breaks and even do some work. However, we still struggled to make mom use assistive devices and exercise caution.

Taking a shower using the bench was the hardest, and I almost yelled at her. She kept saying that she was not used to washing herself sitting, and it was inconvenient. But then, I came up with a great strategic idea. Mom often states that I don’t remember how it is to live without a shower at home while she lived like this and had to go to the public baths once a week. In fact, I do remember: I had to go to public baths when I was in summer camps and when we stayed in the countryside in summer. So when she repeated that “she never washed herself in a sitting position, I said: Wait, what about the public baths? Didn’t you sit on a bench then? And this was a trigger. She said yes, and you had to wash the bench before sitting on it!

Then she got into the shower as I instructed her, and then I saw through the door crack that she was washing herself while sitting, and then she got out of the bathtub in a safe way. I said: good job, mom! You learned a new skill! For that she replied: there is nothing new in it!

By some miracle which I am not going to question, he got at-home physical therapy twice a week and the nurse’s visits once a week. She already had one PT session and did the exercises once on her own, so the progress is outstanding.

I am planning to go to the office for tomorrow afternoon.

Last Week Of Summer

There are many ways to decide when the summer ends. I have already posted more than one “End of Summer” blog. Before I left for London I thought that my swimming season was over (having that I would miss the next weekend and one after) so I washed and stored away my swimsuit and beach towels, but I was happy to pull them out again last week.

I want to say explicitly that although we have an ongoing situation now, and my weekend plans had to be canceled, I can’t say it was a bad week. In fact, it was a gorgeous summer week, filled with all these bitter-sweet “last” gelato, “last” balm evenings, an incredibly warm lake, and fun in the sun. Also, I want to see ‘Harry Potter” and the opening of the season of the Chicago Symphony with a violin virtuoso Benjamin Beilman.

I have nothing but thanks to the Universe for this gift.

A Quick Update

…for friends because the family already knows. Mom fell during her Friday morning walk and hurt her head really badly. She was taken to the ER, and since I had my phone in her phone as an emergency contact, somebody called me, so I went there right away. Fortunately, that was this once-a-month thing when I worked from home (I had a seasonal furnace tune-up).

We thought it would not be a big deal because although there was a lot of blood, they didn’t even need to stitch her, just glue the wound. However, the CT scan showed brain bleeding, so she was left in an ICU overnight. I spent eight hours there yesterday and came there in the morning. They released her home with 24/7 supervision, so now we are figuring out how to make things work.

Harry Potter And The Cursed Child

This show just opened last weekend, and I saw it yesterday. I have just one word – FANTASTIC! Everything they write about this show, and better! Everything you can see in this promotional video, but better because it’s had to capture the fire on stage – it is way cooler than it looks!