Category: everyday life

Archeopteryx In The Field Museum

The archaeopteryx acquired by the Field Museum in 2022 is only the 13th ever found – I didn’t know they were so rare! And there were tons of other things about archeopteryx that I didn’t know; I learned them yesterday during the discussion in the Field Museum. It was the opening night for Chicago archeopteryx – it took two years for scientists to prepare this fossil for the exhibition. Two lead scientists answered the audience’s questions. They were visibly excited about the new research prospects and said a book was in the works.

Other things I learned:

  • All archeopteryxes found so far didn’t reach their maturity and were still going, so we do not know the size of an adult.
  • It’s close to impossible to tell the gender of the species.
  • We do not know what they ate, but most likely insects (judging by the teeth enamel)
  • All birds lost their teeth in the process of evolution, and scientists are unsure why. All birds swallow small stones to grind the food in their stomachs (anyone who ever butchered a chicken would agree :))
  • The feathered were not for flying originally, but rather for temperature preservation, and the ability to fly was an extra bonus 🙂

Work-In-Progress

I have too many projects at work that are “in progress,” and it’s extremely tiring. Despite the multiple thanks I receive every workday, I feel like I am not doing my best, not making enough progress, and overall doing too much of the “women’s work.” I do not mind doing it occasionally, but for a while now, it’s like “nothing but.” In addition, there are two community issues that really bother me, and I do not see any positive resolution in the near future. Strangely enough, I feel simultaneously too much invested in each of them and not doing enough for each of them.

Also, today, I took my mom for her third CT scan. The neurologist suggested doing it in the same hospital where he will see her for a follow-up, and he even mentioned it could be done on the same day. In reality, I was unable to schedule both appointments on the same day, so we had a CT scan today, and the doctor is scheduled for Friday. The hospital is located very inconveniently from where we live, and today I had to take Uber during the rush hour, and it was a living hell. The drive took an hour. Then we waited there for more than an hour. Then the drive back was extremely bumpy, and I was late for the time when I needed to do some production work. I chose today because I hoped to be home by 6-30PM, but I was there more than an hour later and tired and hungry.

Ultimately, I finished all my work, and both migrations went almost smoothly :), and I am not even staying late. I am just very tired.

Remember These Chocolates?

The ones I bought in Amsterdam, carefully chosen from an insane variety?

As with any properly made chocolate, it had to be consumed within 10-12 day, the mission which I successfully accomplished. However, i regretted not taking the pictures inside the store – although I remembered which flavors I chose, I couldn’t always tell which one I was about to consume. I enjoyed them anyway, but I had a moment when, after the box was emptied, I found a tiny black square on the bottom, which unfolded into a complete chocolate inventory!

About Mom, Life, And Other Random Thoughts

Mom wants her freedom, and it’s scary. I understand how she feels, and most likely, if I were in her place, I would feel the same way. I also understand that she can’t really process any new concepts, and I remember what the doctors in the hospital told me: at the end of the day, you do what you can do. I talked to one more potential caregiver last week, and I was trying to talk to my mom about bringing in one more person when I was away, but she was turning the conversation into her usual spiral, no matter where it would start and no matter how hard I tried.

Today, I took her to the matinee concert at the CSO, and she was upset, I am not sure with what, and then she didn’t like anything at the concert, starting with the first piece that was performed and ending with Christoph Eschenbach not wearing a bowtie. I am trying to distance myself from such situations, but at the same time, I always start to worry whether I am moving in the same direction.

I know that I have already started to forget words, and for the past two years, I have been trying to record all occurrences of forgotten words. I believe it was once in two months two years ago, then – once a month, and now almost weekly. The funny thing is that most of my forgotten words are food-related:). The rest are names of people (not the people I knew in the past, but celebrities) and names of places. Boris has nothing of it, and he remembers the names of my former co-workers better than I.

***

Another topic my mom brings up frequently is a statement that she feels sorry for me because although I am an accomplished professional, I didn’t have “magical moments” in my life. I know exactly what she means because she often speaks with pride about some super weird relationships she had, when a guy from her work invited her to a theater or a concert once a month, and sometimes, they went to one of the imperial parks around Saint-Petersburg (actually, Leningrad at that time). She keeps saying that “these days, nobody can even imagine such relationships when there was nothing except for talking.” According to her, the best and most magical part of this relationship was that there was no kissing, no intimacy. They would go out once a month, and he would record tapes for her, and that was it. I can’t imagine why not having something like this in my life makes me “unhappy.” I honestly and truly believe that my life is as close to a fairy tale as possible, and the number of magical events that happened to me is way above the average :). Boris threw a dozen hypotheses, trying to explain what was behind this statement and what kind of reasoning could lead to this conclusion.

I might make a separate post about these hypotheses because I believe there could be some historical reasons for that.

Did Summer Forget To Go, Or Did Fall Forget To Come?

Still early morning biking, only know the sunrise catches up with me only when I am turning back from the most distant point:

And a brown sugar peach popsicle at the Sunday Market!

And if the stars align properly, I might have one more swimming day this week!

The Pawnbroker

In between the two operas, I watched The Pawnbroker, a 1964 film directed by Sidney Lumet. I learned about this movie from one of the kino-websites advertisements related to Lumet’s 100 anniversary. Then it was my usual movie story: I need to find time; the movie is so captivating that I can’t watch it as a background to anything, etc. Actually, after the first ten minutes of watching, I realized that I won’t be able to hit the stop button….

How many Holocaust movies did I watch? Many! How many books? How many photos? A lot, but still, this movie was unbearable to watch even though it shows very little of actual Nazi atrocities. We do not even know the whole story of Sol Nazerman. We only see flashbacks of past events triggered by something happening in the present. Still, it’s striking evidence of unmendable damage done to a human. When I was watching the movie, I physically felt Mr. Naserman’s suffering. I just do not have the right words to describe how I felt. A naked truth. Immense sorrow.

Mom’s Updates

It has been a week since I posted the last update about my mom. In short, things are fine, although there are still many unknowns.

A PT is coming once a week (the original order was twice a week, but Medicaid only covers one). Mom is doing the exercises twice a day and is making good progress. She is still not allowed to go outside on her own, but a PT said that he hopes to get her to the level when she will be able to walk without a walker and without a cane, but it will take weeks. I hired a person to walk with her for an hour once a day, and she was fine with it for the first two days. On Sunday, she made a scene accusing me of “making decisions for her without consulting her,” and we had a pretty ugly conversation. She refused to recall that I asked her first and that she agreed

A Russian-speaking nurse will be coming once a week.We had a first visit with her on Monday, and she ordered a new blood pressure monitor and a wearable so that mom could push a button if she falls.

Also, the nurse said that she would put a request for home help, and that’s where my mom exploded again. We had another ugly conversation, and finally, I figured out what it was about. For some reason, my mom got into her head this idea that “I want to send her to a senior home” (she even thought about it when I was trying to sign her up for subsidized housing). So now it’s a new development: she got an idea that when I offer to hire help or when I want to request a social worker for her, I am doing it to collect the evidence that she can’t live on her own and should be placed into a senior home, so pretty much the opposite of what we are trying to do.

The more I think about it, the more it feels like that cynical approach to life that I talked about in one of my recent posts. She has a deep belief that “everyone is evil,” and everyone thinks only about their own well-being, not their neighbor. It’s extremely unsettling (I do not know how she can say that “she respects me” and “I am the best daughter ever.”

I still have no idea how to provide coverage for the time I will be away, not even in terms of finding additional help but in terms of convincing her to accept that help. I think that at some point I will have to let it go as PT doctors at the hospital told me.

Rigoletto

On Tuesday, my neighbor and I went to our second opera of that season: Verdi’s Rigoletto. In contrast to Fidelio, it was a very traditional production, and it was astonishing.

I saw Rigoletto multiple times back in Russia, but like with many operas that I thought I knew, it turned out that we had a severely reduced version of it. My first eye-opener was Carmen, and Boris told me that he had a similar revelation with Faust, and now Rigoletto.

Beautiful. More tragic than I ever thought.

Summer Never Ends!

Twice, I washed my swimsuit and beach towel “for a season,” and twice, I stashed them away “until next summer.” And on Monday, I took them out for the third time :).

I was in the office for half the day and then rushed to my mom’s house to meet with the nurse. After the nurse’s visit, I had a long and not very productive conversation with my mom, and it was still relatively early when I left there house.

While I was walking back along the beach, I realized that it was still warm, and even with the shorter days, it was still enough time! I rushed home, pulled my neatly folded beach towel from the top shelf along with my just-washed swimsuit, pulled a pair of shorts from the bottom of the summer clothes box, and quickly walked back to the beach!

It was warm! And the water was warm! There were some people sitting on the sand, but nobody in the water. I don’t know why – the water was warm, and there were no lifeguards, and oh my, how perfect it was to be there at that very moment!

Thank you, Lake Michigan!

The Harm Of Cynicism

I didn’t want to add anything to the previous post because I felt it was important on its own. But there is one more thing I wanted to add. I think that cynucisn, he belief that people in general are greedy, dishonest, and untrustworthy, was (and still is) deeply engraved in Russian society, and in the heart and soul of every Russian. That’s where this belief of “stupid Americans” is coming from. And that’s why people are so unhappy, and do not believe that something good is possible. And don’t make any strides for change.

And that’s why I was the only smiling mother on the pictures which Igor’s classmates drew in his preschool for the Women’t Day.

And that’s why I felt immediately at home when I came to the US, despite of all financial hardships.

And that’s why I am so furious about PostgresPro. .