Author: Hettie D.

My name is Henrietta (Hettie) Dombrovskaya. I was born in Saint-Petersburg, Russian (actually, back then – Leningrad, USSR) in 1963, and immigrated to the United States in 1996. I love Saint Petersburg, the city I was born and raised in, and I think it’s one of the most beautiful places in the world. Similarly (but differently) I love Chicago, and can’t imagine myself moving somewhere else in the observable future. I have three children, Igor, Vlad and Anna, all adults living on their own, and one (so far) granddaughter Nadia. I also believe that my children are the best thing that happened in my life. As for my professional life, I am working in the field of Information Technologies. When I was twenty, I’ve declared that the databases are the coolest thing invented and that I want to do them for the rest of my life. Thirty plus years later, I still believe it’s true, and still, believe that the databases are the best. These two statements together imply that I think a person can have it all, and indeed, I think so! Keep reading my journals to find out how I did it.

Klondike Movie

Klondike was part of CIFF Summer Screenings, and Igor and I watched it today. It’s one of those movies when you can’t say, “It is a good movie.” It is shocking and disturbing, and you can’t take all the horrors in, but at the same time, you still can’t take your eyes off the screen. I can’t say “I recommend it.” If you feel that you have enough is you to sustain it, please watch it, but it’s not for everyone.

I am glad I went to that screening. It was a full house, and 95% of the audience were not Ukrainian. I guess it’s a good sign, but the panel discussion after the screening was horrible.

I don’t understand how the organizers could have no plan and no agenda for such an important discussion. I don’t understand the choice of panelists (citing the panel announcement Professor Petrovsky-Shtern from Northwestern University, and Migration Lawyer by profession and journalist by hobby – Svitlana Ugryn). To be entirely honest, Deputy Consul General of Ukraine in Chicago Yevgeniy Drobot, who was supposedly leading the discussion, wasn’t helpful either.

I am really upset about this panel, but it is difficult to me to pinpoint what exactly was so wrong. The panel was about nothing. Instead of sending a powerful message, the panelists were talking about the “authenticity” of making vegetable preserves, and the “Chekhov-style” acting when “people want to do something, but nothing happens.”

Two most disturbing episodes.

  1. One of the audience members asked the panel, whether “separatists stil exist.” The answer from the professor was: “there are some people [in these areas]who feel like they are Ukrainian, and the are some people who feel like they are Russian, and they want to be Russian, and there are some people, who are just common people, and they do not care, they want to have their house, and their cow, and have their babies… “
  2. Svitlana commented that “it is important that the soldiers at the end of the movie speak Chechen, because Chechnia was occupied by Russia, and now Russia sends Chechens to fight in this war, so if Russia will defeat Ukrain, it will move to invading other countries. That latter thing is true, but what is has to do with the soldiers speaking Chechen? If you ask me, that would be the only thing for which I might critisize the movie: you get an impression that all of the atrocities were done by Chechens, and Russians never committed any violence.

Maybe I will write more about it tomorrow if I will be able to arrange my thoughts.

Mini-Vacation In Boston. Day 2: More Art

Each art museum is different, and there is no such thing as “too much art.” It does not matter that we have the Art Institute in Chicago, it does not matter how many art museums I visited in my life. It does not matter how many Florentine icons I’ve seen in my life, or how many Monet’s or Van Gogh’s. Each one is a new one.

Can you guess who the artist is? I could not believe it when I read the name!
Maybe there are more chances to figure out who’s work is this one, but it was not obvious for me either.
And you can see the artist’s name here 🙂
Toulouse-Lautrec, of course!
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Mini-Vacation In Boston Day 2: Art And Coffee

Started the day at the Faro Cafe (the best coffee in Harvard, according to my friend). The coffee was good, and the cafe definitely had a vibe.

Could Van Gogh paint this chair?
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Mini-Vacation In Boston Day 1: Evening

We walked to yet another neighborhood, Charlestown, for a Thai dinner and more history. It had a very different vibe, strangely more like a “small American town,” and at the same with way more history in the air.

Mini-Vacation In Boston Day 1: Walking Around

The thing I liked the most in Boston, was walking around different neighborhoods and feeling different vibes, starting from Cambridge.

The place just beyond the finish line where the bomb exploded
The Boston Marraphon finish line
MLK monument at Boston Public Garden
Make way to ducklings

Boston: When You Can’t Choose

Mini-Vacation in Boston Day 1 – Afternoon

After the Isabella Gardner museum, we went to the Massachuset Fine Arts Museum:

I am trying not to post too many artworks because my amateur photos do not do them any justice, but since I can’t talk about these artworks without showing them, I tend to post too many:). The picture below struck me, and when I read the story, it struck me even more.

And then to a Korean place for more desserts:

Mini-Vacation In Boston, Day 1 Morning

The first day went just perfect! The building where my friend live has a great gym

We went for breakfast to Tatte:

And then to the Isabella Gardner Museum:

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Mini-Vacation In Boston Day 0

My mini-vacation started with the horrific flight delay. I was so happy with how I planned Friday, avoiding the congestion at ORD by taking public transportation, only to depart five hours later than it was scheduled!

The good thing is that I was at the AA lounge, so I had food, drinks, and comfortable seating, and also I had instance access to customer service. Eventually, I was put on a flight that departed earlier than my original one. However, we were delayed a couple of times, even on that flight. The aircraft just started to gain ground speed and then stopped, and we were told we would need to wait for the storm to clear! So – one more adventure! At least I was able to get to my friend’s apartment in Boston five minutes after midnight, not in the middle of the night!

How My Relationships With My Mom Evolved

My mom definitely punished me at a relatively young age. Even though she didn’t spank me, she would yell at me and give me “citations” but that was pretty much what all parents would do even with their toddlers. Later, she started giving me a sielent treatment.

I am trying to recall when it started, because at the time that I am writing about (when I was ten year old) this was definitely happening on regular basis. She would all of a sudden stop talking to me, stop replying to my questions, won’t tell me what I did wrong, and it would continue until I start to cry unconsolably. She would then keep ignoring me and just periodically say in a very tense voice: don’t you dare to be hysterical around me! By that time, I was extremely emotionally depended on her. It was not like this when I was younger. I would be fine staying at dacha when I was five, or being in the sanatorium when I was six. She told me later that she missed me very much and was looking for excuses to visit me more often. I was happy to see her, but I was not unhappy when she was not around. By the time I was nine or ten, it changed. When she was not around, I felt like an abandoned lover, and when she was around and was upset with me, my life was a living hell. At the time when she was giving me a silent treatment and letting me cry and cry, I thought to myself that it is not possible that she loved me and let me cry. Eventually she would finally tell me what my crime was, and after I admit my crime and ask for forgiveness, she was a loving mother again.

Now I understand that being subjected to this treatment, I learned that it’s OK to hurt a person whom you love. It’s OK to be cruel, and it does not diminish the value of your love. It took me many years to unlearn this, and not without casualties. I do not hold this against her, nor many other things. It’s not about redemption. I just remember about it when she attempts to do something similar, and make sure I am not involving myself in these games. Sometimes, I actually have to yell at her, because it’s the only way to make her take something seriously, and it’s upsetting that that’s the language she understands.

My historical posts are being published in random order. Please refer to the page Hettie’s timeline to find where exactly each post belongs and what was before and after.