Author: Hettie D.

My name is Henrietta (Hettie) Dombrovskaya. I was born in Saint-Petersburg, Russian (actually, back then – Leningrad, USSR) in 1963, and immigrated to the United States in 1996. I love Saint Petersburg, the city I was born and raised in, and I think it’s one of the most beautiful places in the world. Similarly (but differently) I love Chicago, and can’t imagine myself moving somewhere else in the observable future. I have three children, Igor, Vlad and Anna, all adults living on their own, and one (so far) granddaughter Nadia. I also believe that my children are the best thing that happened in my life. As for my professional life, I am working in the field of Information Technologies. When I was twenty, I’ve declared that the databases are the coolest thing invented and that I want to do them for the rest of my life. Thirty plus years later, I still believe it’s true, and still, believe that the databases are the best. These two statements together imply that I think a person can have it all, and indeed, I think so! Keep reading my journals to find out how I did it.

Igor’s Birthday

Today was Igor’s birthday, and obviously because of the situation with my mom, our minds were not 100% on the celebration. I am glad that mom was well enough to go to the Chayhana cafe. I can’t judge their Middle asian food, but Russian dishes exceeded expectations (desserts could be better though).

it was not an easy year for Igor, and I am glad that he feels good about where he is now. Proud of his accomplishments and of his personal growth 🙂

Books

I didn’t have time even to mark books as read on Goodreads, and it was only when I waited for my last delayed flight that I finally caught up with my reading. Not all of the books I read or listened to are listed below.

May Contain Lies. I mentioned this book in connection with the podcast I listened to some time ago. The book has even more examples of (mis)interpreting the results of surveys, researches, and such. Really useful, especially for people who have very strong in their opinions, like me 🙂

Moral Decision Making. A series of lectures from the Great Courses. It was the first time I listened to anything from the Great Courses, and I liked it! The series consisted of twenty-four half-hour lectures, and here are some excerpts from the course description:

Whether or not we’re aware of them, we make important ethical decisions all the time – as professionals, consumers, citizens, parents, sons and daughters, and friends. These 24 thought-provoking lectures offer you the chance to reflect on some of the most powerful moral issues we face in our daily lives: Is it ever OK to lie? What are our moral obligations to others? What is the key to living the good life? <…>. Engaging stories and thought experiments bring these issues to life, showing what different philosophical theories have to say about real-world ethical dilemmas.

According to Professor Martin, the trick is to understand that the mind is like a parachute; it only works when it’s open. Rather than take a side in any particular debate, this course provides a framework for thinking through a host of debates and dilemmas from all sides. Through it all, Professor Martin is a sympathetic guide, helping you think through some of our most complex decisions.

The last sentence describes what I liked most about this course: I believe that morals and ethics are very logical, and that “at large” doing good is profitable for an individual, and Professor martin talks a lot about it. Of course, according to these course, the best thing that happened in my life was completely unethical (but I know that! and I can’t talk myself into admitting my wrong). Still, this is one of very few pieces in my digital library which I might go back to listen to again.

The Year of Less

When I started listening to this book, I though: I know that all, what can a younger person tell me about savings, nit buying things – I’ve done it, and I’ve done it successfully. BTW, I do not remember why I chose this title – was it on a weekly recommendation list from Audible, or in TIME magazine, or in the “daily deals.” To my surprise, after I finished listening, I realized that I forgot about some techniques, and about small ways not to overspend, and thought that I might resme some of these practice.

The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes – I am a fan of the Hunger Games, and I do not care if somebody is going to criticize me for that. I really loved this “book zero,” and I am looking forward for the next title in this series.

Google Knows!

The last story from my delayed flights saga. On September 12, when I already left my company’s London office and took Elizabeth line to Heathrow, I received a notification from Google (not British Airways): Flight XXX delayed arrival – 90 minutes. I don’t remember the exact verbiage, but something like that. Immediately, I looked at my BA boarding pass, but it didn’t show any delays. Since during my Chicago delay, Google was more accurate in estimating the delay time than AA, I thought that I will see the departure time change soon, but nothing came up. I arrived to the airport, waited for the departure in the lounge, still surprised that there was no delay announced, and finally proceeded to boarding. The flight was still perfectly on time, I took my seat, and soon, the boarding was complete.

Then came a usual announcement: “That’s your captain speaking,” and immediately after that he went off script: “So, you heard the thunder when you were boarding, right? Yea, it’s quite a storm going on, and now the traffic control want us to sit here and wait for the storm to clear. We will update you as soon as we know.”

Guess how much we were delayed? Yes, an hour and a half, and yes – just an arrival, not departure!

This left me wonder – how did Google know????

Friday

Today, I was in the office for the whole day for the first time since last Thursday. The workday was a living hell: I had multiple open issues, and I had to act like a customer support chat, replying to multiple people simultaneously. Plus, scheduling a couple of mom’s follow-ups, a CT scan, etc. Working on multiple issues was the worst, though.

Still, it’s a first step toward returning to normal. I stayed at work a little bit late, but then I went straight home and talked to my mom only over the phone. And I actually browsed the internet for the first time in several days. I am not 100% sure what I did, but I didn’t have to go/do/watch, and for the first time in a week, I started to think about what I would be doing after work.

I have several posts that have been in drafts since my trip two weeks ago, so maybe I will finish them over the weekend.

All Updates

A side note: I credit myself for two responsible actions. First, when I got a call that my mom fell and was taken to the hospital, I ate before rushing there. And second, when she was already home on Saturday, I asked Igor to stay with her for an extra hour and went to the beach because I knew it was my last opportunity of the season. I said thank you to the lake, to the warm clean water, and to that amazing summer.

Those were the last two responsible actions on my part. Although the second CT scan didn’t show any negative dynamics, the doctor still didn’t want to let my mom go back home. All the doctors kept telling me about horrible things that could happen if my mom fell one more time and insisted she had to be supervised 24/7 if we wanted to take her home. Mom didn’t want to be supervised, she didn’t want to make any changes in her routine, and she repeatedly said that she better die than like “like that.”

It was great that Anna could come over and stay until Tuesday afternoon. Mom was thrilled to see her, and I could take breaks and even do some work. However, we still struggled to make mom use assistive devices and exercise caution.

Taking a shower using the bench was the hardest, and I almost yelled at her. She kept saying that she was not used to washing herself sitting, and it was inconvenient. But then, I came up with a great strategic idea. Mom often states that I don’t remember how it is to live without a shower at home while she lived like this and had to go to the public baths once a week. In fact, I do remember: I had to go to public baths when I was in summer camps and when we stayed in the countryside in summer. So when she repeated that “she never washed herself in a sitting position, I said: Wait, what about the public baths? Didn’t you sit on a bench then? And this was a trigger. She said yes, and you had to wash the bench before sitting on it!

Then she got into the shower as I instructed her, and then I saw through the door crack that she was washing herself while sitting, and then she got out of the bathtub in a safe way. I said: good job, mom! You learned a new skill! For that she replied: there is nothing new in it!

By some miracle which I am not going to question, he got at-home physical therapy twice a week and the nurse’s visits once a week. She already had one PT session and did the exercises once on her own, so the progress is outstanding.

I am planning to go to the office for tomorrow afternoon.

The Atomic Cafe 1982

I finally watched The Atomic Cafe, which was on my watchlist for the past two months recommended by Michael Roman. As usual, when the movie is the one I want to pay close attention to, I watch it one small piece at a time.

To summarize my reaction in one sentence: what a horror story! I had no idea that that’s how the US propaganda worked, and I am not even sure I should use a past tense here. The scariest part for me was not even the actual propaganda films with “no worries, the hair will grow back” and “it’s safe to get out after an explosion,” but the background country songs jokingly mentioning an atomic bomb, punishing Japan and all things related. Gives you a new perspective on the “Oppenheimer” movie and life in general. It’s worth noting that there is no narration and no commentary, just interviews, tv shows, and propaganda movies clips.

Must-see. Open access at the link above. Enjoy….

Last Week Of Summer

There are many ways to decide when the summer ends. I have already posted more than one “End of Summer” blog. Before I left for London I thought that my swimming season was over (having that I would miss the next weekend and one after) so I washed and stored away my swimsuit and beach towels, but I was happy to pull them out again last week.

I want to say explicitly that although we have an ongoing situation now, and my weekend plans had to be canceled, I can’t say it was a bad week. In fact, it was a gorgeous summer week, filled with all these bitter-sweet “last” gelato, “last” balm evenings, an incredibly warm lake, and fun in the sun. Also, I want to see ‘Harry Potter” and the opening of the season of the Chicago Symphony with a violin virtuoso Benjamin Beilman.

I have nothing but thanks to the Universe for this gift.

TIME Magazine: Dining Solo

I always encourage people to go to plays, concerts, or restaurants by themselves if they do not have company but want to go, and I always thought that it was just a personal decision. However, according to this Time Magazine article, the restaurants do not like solo diners. It was interesting to read about why there are more solo diners these days than before, why restaurants often do not like them, and why they should 🙂

I think that in the nineteenth and early twentieth century there were more people dining out on a regular basis and solo, and it was absolutely normal back then. However, back then, these solo diners were male only, so possibly the issues which the article lists concern women more often than men.

Continue reading “TIME Magazine: Dining Solo” →

A Quick Update

…for friends because the family already knows. Mom fell during her Friday morning walk and hurt her head really badly. She was taken to the ER, and since I had my phone in her phone as an emergency contact, somebody called me, so I went there right away. Fortunately, that was this once-a-month thing when I worked from home (I had a seasonal furnace tune-up).

We thought it would not be a big deal because although there was a lot of blood, they didn’t even need to stitch her, just glue the wound. However, the CT scan showed brain bleeding, so she was left in an ICU overnight. I spent eight hours there yesterday and came there in the morning. They released her home with 24/7 supervision, so now we are figuring out how to make things work.

Harry Potter And The Cursed Child

This show just opened last weekend, and I saw it yesterday. I have just one word – FANTASTIC! Everything they write about this show, and better! Everything you can see in this promotional video, but better because it’s had to capture the fire on stage – it is way cooler than it looks!