On family history, parenting, education, social issues and more
These are the best presents one can get for Christmas! I have already shown the present I received from my friends living in Ireland – chocolates and an expresso-maker ornament.
Next was a package from my friend from New Zealand: cookies baked by her triplet daughters :), chocolates, and a Christmas pendant:
The second documentary of the ‘Russian Lies” series, this one is focused on Russian Literature. And once again, I can repeat word for word the same things I said in the comments on the first documentary: none of this was ever hidden or not accessible. Ever.
We all studied Pushkin, Lermontov, Tolstoy, and Dostoevsky at school. We all read (or at least were supposed to) the books in which the never-ending war on Caucuses was a centerpiece. And brave Russian officers fighting with violent Chechens were the heroes. And we never ever questioned that assumption. Pushin’s private letters were always available in the “Complete Works.” It fact, many of them were frequently cited during the Russian Literature lessons. There was no secret of how he felt about the expansion of Russian territories from Peter the Great onward.
We knew that Russian literature didn’t exist until the 18th century. The was a Tale of Igor’s Campaign at the end of the 12th century, and then pretty much nothing (with few exceptions) until the beginning of the 18th century. But as I already mentioned, the language of the “Tale” is not Russian; it’s an old Slavic language that later evolved into three separate East Slavic languages. The language of Shakespeare is archaic English, but nevertheless, it’s English, while the language of the Tale is not Russian.
A side note. It’s a stunningly beautiful piece of literature. I was so taken away by it when I first read it (I was not older than ten) that I started to learn it by heart. I read all the scientific comments and learned what each word meant (not what it sounded like). As a result, I hated all “officially recognized” poetic translations because I could spot inaccuracies immediately. I still can recite big chunks of it.
Back to the main topic. We didn’t study any literature except for Russian. The exception was my English school; if I remained there until graduation, I would have two semesters of English literature and two of American literature. However, I moved to a specialized mathematical school. I know that regular schools had a “foreign literature” semester in the 9th or 10th grade, so the students there had at least limited exposure. As for us, we were unlucky to have a very good literature teacher. It’s not a typo; she knew Russian literature very well, and we worshiped her. On Saturday afternoons after school, she read forbidden literature to us (not completely forbidden, but let’s say, not approved, such as Bulgakov, Leonid Andreev, or Akhmatova). We believed every word she said, and she was saying that Russian literature is the greatest (she had never read any foreign literature in its original language) and that there was not enough time in the curriculum for us to learn what she wanted us to learn, so to hell with any foreign literature.
This baggage was very difficult to get rid of; somehow, the modern “progressive” writers didn’t charm me that much; somehow, I was able to detect the imperial mindset more or less right away, but many of my friends didn’t.
OK, enough commenting – please watch the documentary.
Something completely out of my character, but I guess I needed some decompression :). Quite unexpectedly, I found myself listening to Audible Originals’ “Mistletoe Murders” – all three seasons, and I utterly enjoyed it! Literally, what I needed! Also, after two months of not touching my Apple Vision, I finally pulled it out and charged, and found that there were a couple of upgrades in between, which resulted in a better user experience, and also that there were several new immersive videos, including the first non-documentary “Submerged.”
Also, I had a couple of people over and even had time to drink hot spiced wine with cheese, crackers, and lots of cookies! And I had some holiday drinks in the Charmers Cafe:
Now, all that’s left is half of the workday, making a daytime New Year for my mom, and then cheering the actual New Year with Igor on Chicago River!
I wrote this post three months ago, and meant to write a follow-up since then. I am not dismissing the importance of “magical moments” in our lives; they are important for happiness. And I agree that they can be very “uneventful.” For example, one of my most treasured memories is a moment when Boris was waiting for me outside the Orchestra Hall in Saint Petersburg, and when he saw me (it was still time when his vision was good enough to recognize me from a distance), his facial expression and body language were such that an older lady standing by him waiting for her party smiled. Or the one when we walked down the street in Moscow, and a man walking in the opposite direction said loudly: Look how much she loves you! I also understand that anybody would be happy with a surprise gift or a lovely message but I do not understand why these things might be more important than everything else, and I understand even less why the absence of something might be “magical.”
I think that the best thing that happened in my life was that for the past thirty-six years, I was with one person, and we shared all aspects of our lives and no matter how many differences we had and still have, we are there for each other.
Boris says there must be some cultural and historical context for my mom’s beliefs, and I tend to agree with him. I remember that as a teen and young adult, I loved the concept of a “have to be a strong woman.” One of the “bard” songs that I loved ended with the following verse:
You paint the sky blue, and you paint the rocks grey,
and then you paint men always strong, and women for sure weak.
But the sky is blue only sometimes, and those that are gey are not rocks,
so you have to be strong while you long to be weak.
I mentioned in this blog multiple times that it was commonplace for a man to exhibit some grand gestures to win a woman’s heart, and it’s not cool to accept somebody’s courting until such grand gestures are made. “A woman should be treated with respect” included opening and holding the door, helping with getting in and out of the outdoor coat, pulling the chair, carrying anything heavier than a purse, and all other things that meant a woman was “treated like a princess.” At the same time, within the same mind frame, it was assumed that when you are married, you have to take care of all your husband’s needs; you cook and clean, wash and iron the clothes, and do most of the shopping. I want to reiterate that men didn’t refuse: we just never thought about asking for help, at least my married friends and I.
Possibly, it was something like, “You will never be treated like royalty after you are married, so make sure you are treated like this once in your life.” Or, it was a weird mixture of the pre-revolutionary upper-class and lower-class household patterns.
I am left with the question, why did we believe we were “treated with respect.” We were not; presuming you are weak and must be assisted is not a sign of respect. Why did we rush to get married? Why did we rush to divorce? Why was a display of something more important than having actual feelings or help
It took me years to understand how wrong I was and even more years to internalize these ideas. And now, I need to come to terms with the fact that my mom is forever frozen in that historical mindset and not try to change it. Honestly, it might be OK with my mom, but when I hear the same nonsense from people my age or younger, I don’t know how to comment!
That’s in case you didn’t notice this abbreviation for those three and a half years I lived here. Not everything is rosy in RP, but I am so happy I moved here!
On Monday, when Nadia and I were walking back home from the Common Cup, Nadia noticed a new mural – I remember when the contest for the new mural was announced, but somehow, I passed by in a hurry several times without noticing what exactly was painted.
Below is the new mural – all three parts, and that’ all you need to know about RP!
Actually, there is one more thing you need to know! On December 25, when I walked from the Jarvis Red Line station to the back entrance of our building in my red coat carrying half-empty red luggage, I heard, “Merry Christmas, Hettie!” three times!
A friend shared with me a series of Ukrainian documentaries uncovering the tools Russian propaganda uses to mislead both the world and its own people about Russian and Ukrainian history, culture, and their respective roles in the world and how the Russian-Ukrainian war is the logical continuation of all of the above. I want to present these documentaries one by one and write (hopefully) detailed comments about each of them, mostly targeting my American friends.
The first documentary is about the history of Russia. Most of my friends likely remember only some episodes of Russian history that, for this reason or that reason, were mentioned in popular culture or were taught in school in relation to US history. The bottom line is that I do not expect anybody to have extensive knowledge of Russian history, so here is some explanation.
The first part of this documentary talks about the Medieval state Kyivan Rus (or Ancient Rus), with Kyiev being its capital and the language being the predecessor for three languages: Ukrainian, Russian, and Belarusian (and if you ask me, I’d say that nowadays Ukrainian is the closest of three to this old language). After the disintegration of the Kyivan Rus (the stage all the Medieval states went through) and after the Mongol invasion, the Moscow Principality gradually rose to power and eventually conquered most of the original Kyivan Rus land, but the rest of the world referred to it as Moscovia, not Rus. As this documentary states correctly, “Russia” as a name of the state appeared way later.
The most striking fact is that nobody ever made a secret of it! I was very much into history when I was in school, and by the time we started to study Russian history in the fourth grade, I already knew “all of it.” Nevertheless, I remember our textbook as clear as if I read it yesterday, and all of the above facts were mentioned there!
There were many facts I didn’t know about the newer parts of history; for example, I knew nothing about the joined annexation of Poland and the Soviet-Nazi parade in Brest, but everything related to Ancient history was well-known and was always in plain sight. I can’t explain why I never questioned the moral grounds of “conquering Siberia” and other colonial acquisitions. Let me repeat it again: while 20th-century history was heavily censored and presented as the “liberation” and the “fight for justice,” there were never any attempts for a similar cover-up of the earlier history. We all knew it, and we all thought it was OK.
Since my first cataract surgery in February 2020, I knew that something wrong was done to my left eye. As a result, no lens can improve my left eye vision; it is constantly blurry, no matter contacts or glasses. In addition, it affects my double-vision negatively, and all my attempts to fix it didn’t provide any positive outcome.
Each year, when I go for my annual, an optometrist tries to send me “to a real doctor” so that I can “finally figure out what’s wrong.” Last summer, the same call was made again, but this time, an optometrist wanted to confirm my long-time suspicions about the cataract surgery ourcome.
He referred me to a specialist on Chicago North Side, and when I called her office, they said that the earliest they could see me was in December.
On December 13, I finally went to my appointment. After all measurements were taken, the doctor came in and told me that she was confident my suspicions were justified and I should never had a multifocal lens (which I was trying to get from the surgeon who did that first one). She went on with her examination and confirmed and told me that she would send me for a consultation with the best specialist in Chicago, Dr. Rubenstein. He would be able to evaluate the risks/benefits. Since I waited for an appointment with Dr. Rogers for four months, I was mentally prepared for at least the same with Dr. Rubuinstein, but she escorted me to the reception and asked the receptionist to make a call and see if “maybe something with holidays and such.” The receptionist made a call and said that Dr. Rogerst was wondering, understanding that holidays-and-such-but-may-be-something, and then she turned to me: will you be able to come on Monday? Yay!!! Having that it was Friday, and having that it was mid-December, and having that I already took a day off for that Monday.. Yay!
That’s, by the way, how my last attempt to finalize the cookie-sending without sleep deprivation failed! On December 16, I spent the morning with the pest control person, baked extra tea cakes in the early afternoon, and then went to Rush University Medical Center.
Even though I planned my trip perfectly, and all public transportation cooperated, I left home at 12-15 and returned at 6-15. Six hours! The travel in one direction took over one hour; the wait was minimal, so the rest was extensive testing. I really liked Dr. Rubenstein and all his staff. In a funny way, I felt a deep connection with him as a professional. When I was informed that although I have my test results from three days ago, “Dr. Rubunstein still wants to have them in his fingertips,” I laughed and said that it’s the same way as I always want to run a query execution plan myself, even when it is provided along with a ticket.
I spent over two hours being tested on different equipment, known and unknown, and finally, the doctor came to talk to me. He said that he had reviewed all the information, and he believed that I was a perfect candidate for a lens replacement surgery, although he usually does not recommend it lightly. I felt even more related to him when he said that he always fixed other surgeons’ mistakes and that other surgeons would send their patients to him whenever it was a complicated case. That’s exactly what happens with me! He said that this surgery would be more involved than my first one, but still, it would be an outpatient one.
Next, I went to a scheduling person. The next available date was February 19, and again, it worked perfectly for me! I still need clearance from my physician closer to the surgery date, but that’s it, and I am staying cautiously optimistic.
When I realized that I wouldn’t be able to take Nadia to the Christmas concert on December 20, I offered an alternative plan: I took December 23 off, purchased the ticket for matinee performance on that day, and suggested to pick up Nadia on the evening of December 22, and then come back with her on December 23 and stay to celebrate Christmas. Unfortunately, there were no Amtrak tickets available for me for “swapping a suitcase for a child” (the only acceptable train was sold out), so Anna had to drive to Kenosha, and I took Metra there (and took another Metra back 20 minutes later). I packed a gigantic luggage with presents and all the things I needed in Milwaukee so that the next day, Nadia and I could travel light.
The trip back was very long, but Nadia entertained herself by reading all the names of the stops and keeping track of them – for some reason, stops had not been announced on this trip!
The next morning, we went to Common Cup for breakfast (I am so glad Nadia likes Common Cup as much as I do – yay!).
Then Nadia decorated all of the remaining cookies, and I was impressed by her skills! I told her that next Christmas, I will request her help in my cookies’ operation!
Continue reading “Merry Merry Chicago One More Time”Foto, travel, St.Petersburg, Stokholm, Tallin
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