On family history, parenting, education, social issues and more
Author: Hettie D.
My name is Henrietta (Hettie) Dombrovskaya. I was born in Saint-Petersburg, Russian (actually, back then – Leningrad, USSR) in 1963, and immigrated to the United States in 1996.
I love Saint Petersburg, the city I was born and raised in, and I think it’s one of the most beautiful places in the world. Similarly (but differently) I love Chicago, and can’t imagine myself moving somewhere else in the observable future.
I have three children, Igor, Vlad and Anna, all adults living on their own, and one (so far) granddaughter Nadia. I also believe that my children are the best thing that happened in my life.
As for my professional life, I am working in the field of Information Technologies. When I was twenty, I’ve declared that the databases are the coolest thing invented and that I want to do them for the rest of my life. Thirty plus years later, I still believe it’s true, and still, believe that the databases are the best. These two statements together imply that I think a person can have it all, and indeed, I think so! Keep reading my journals to find out how I did it.
One more note about this eye surgery and how it differed from the previous ones: although the surgeon told me it would be “more serious” than the initial cataract surgery, it didn’t feel this way. Two days after the surgery, I already felt like a normal person, and when, a week later, I was allowed to go completely “back to normal,” it was surprising and exciting but totally expected. I felt like that!
Last time, I felt like my whole body was negatively affected, I felt as if I got older, and I looked older, and I do not feel like that this time!
(Not to mention that this procedure costs literally three times less than the first one, and that’s without inflation adjustment. I was able to cover it entirely from my FSA)
Work is nonstop, but I also have almost as much (if not more) going on with my Postgres Community activities (and what’s not). The things that are falling apart are so many that I do not want to talk about them. If I didn’t receive some positive signals from the Universe, I would assume that the Universe is telling me to give up on half of the things I am doing.
On the talk preparation side, I had to prepare three different versions of my security talk: a forty-minute talk for PG Day Chicago, a twenty-minute talk for Lighting Talks at the office, and a five-minute talk for DevOpsDay Chicago.
The last one was the most difficult and took more time than the other two combined. The problem was not even five minutes, but other requirements. Usually, I plan one slide per minute, and I know that this averages correctly. However, at this event, they requested twenty slides for a five-minute talk, and they will automatically advance a slide every 15 seconds!
I never had to do anything like that! At first, it seemed like an impossible task. Also, I was not allowed to use animation; it had to be twenty slides, not twenty clicks. I had to learn how to set up a slide show and rehearsed multiple times, each time making changes to the slides. It sounds unbelievable how much I worried about this five minutes! However, that’s the first time I was invited to talk at the DevOpsDay, and my goal is to spark interest and to make sure people approach me and talk with me after the presentation. That means the presentation has to be flawless.
I finished it last night and submitted the slides to the conference, and only then I realized how much it bothered me! I am leaving to Pasadena tomorrow, and it feels like a 40-minute talk on a different topic in front of a very large audience is less stressful 🙂
I had some events to attend every day of that week, plus trying to get six hours of sleep every day (hopeless), plus everything else.
Out of the six cultural events I attended last week, one was “above categorization” (the screening of the “20 Days in Mariupol), two were in the category “OK, but I won’t lose much if I didn’t attend,” and three were great.
The weather is great, and also, I have a million things to do, and also, I had time this afternoon because I moved several things around. And for the past two hours, I can’t do anything. I feel the time running away and disappearing in the sand of eternity, and I know I will punch myself tomorrow for this paralysis, but the only thing I can think of now is – why bother? I told a group of like-minded people a couple weeks ago: I will never forgive him Ukraine.
Another like-minded person said in a Telegram channel: I do not blame all Americans, I blame him. The thing is, however, that same as I can’t not feel my personal responsibility for Putin’s existence, I can’t not feel responsibility for Trump being on the top of the world. All the canvassing I didn’t do, no matter how good the reasons were, all the time I focused on solving the problems in the Postgres community, all the time I was fighting for other causes, I didn’t fight for that one. And it will stay with me.
And all of the half-written blog posts about the plays I saw this week, about the events I attended, and even the fights I thought felt absolutely meaningless.
Since I already received a couple of concerned messages, I wanted to let my friends know that everything is great, and the reason I didn’t blog much is that life happens multiple times every day :).
I had a second post-op today, and there was something going on (not with me), because the surgeon had to dash to other rooms multiple times, and I spent more than an hour just waiting.
However, the news is positive: everything is healing very well, and I can do all my regular activities, provided nothing hits my head and I am not lifting something heavy.
The vision is still fluctuating, however, as I already said, even the worst it was during this week is tons better than it was before and better than I was hoping for.
It’s not even funny, but Boris’ flight back was also screwed up. To be precise, his evening flight on Sunday was canceled, and he was put on a British Airways flight that departed almost four hours later. As a result, he missed his connection in London, and they couldn’t find his new ticket, so he missed the next flight as well and was at home after 10 PM on Monday.
With all that, I am not optimistic about my next week’s flight to LA because it’s also AA. My only consolation is that I fly in the day before the conference starts, and my flight back is super -early Sunday morning on the day of switching to the DST
The Siskel Center ran “20 Days in Mariupol” as part of their Shadows of the War Lecture series, which meant that this documentary was a part of the curriculum for the students of the Art Institute of Chicago. The tickets were also sold to the general public, so I got a chance to watch it (without advertising).
It’s incredibly painful to watch this documentary right now, with Trump doing what he is doing, with the UN resolution, and everything related. Adding all the other battles I have to fight these days, it feels like the whole world is against me, and all the evil forces are coming from one source (which is not true).
I do not think I can add any meaningful comments about this documentary. In the beginning, the lecturer mentioned that “there is not much reading available” for it, but I am sure that there will be plenty and that it will remain in the history of war documentaries as an outstanding journalistic work. And I hope that the time will come when it will be presented as evidence of war crimes to the International Tribunal.
Today, however, it feels like nobody is held accountable for all these atrocities.
You can watch the whole documentary here if you haven’t had a chance to see it yet.
She is brilliant! It was so special to see her so close from our first-row seats, to see how the CSO musicians looked at her during her amazing solos, and to see David Chen nodding approvingly. And she enjoys what she is doing so much!
Thursday was still weird, and although I was super happy with the optical effects, I still didn’t feel myself, both physically and mentally. I still had to make some important decisions because one of my “battles” was still ongoing (I hope that at some point in the future, I will be able to tell all about that, but not yet).
Friday morning was a turning point. Boris and I walked to the Common Cup for breakfast. I could not make myself eat normally since the surgery; I had zero appetite. That breakfast was the first time I enjoyed food, and I appreciated the Common Cup more than ever.
My vision is fluctuating, and it was expected. On Thursday, it was good; on Friday and Saturday, it was terrific; today, it is a little bit worse, but the surgeon told me it would be a rollercoaster, so I am patiently waiting. The best part is that even at the lowest, I do not need any additional correction on my left eye, and when I put a contact lens in my right, my vision is as close to perfect as it can be. I am trying not to wear the reading glasses to train my eyes. One of the most difficult things in my current situation is that I am not allowed to do any physical activity, and I can’t bend down. That includes no strength training, even with body weight, elliptical or stationary bike, or yoga. And on top of it, I am not allowed to move fast! It was very cold on Wednesday, and Boris didn’t even let me walk outside (the next day, the surgeon said it was fine). However, I am still motion-deprived and barely make half of my move ring on my Apple watch. No bending blocks most of my household activities, and it’s awesome that Boris is here because he can unload a dishwasher and move the clothes from the washer to the dryer. (And to be honest, that’s the best this time – no COVID restrictions and having him here). I forgot about “no bending”, and I am thankful that this is for one week only, not for three months, like after my back surgery! I also forgot about the drops: three kinds of drops four times a day, with 5 min intervals in between 🙄
After seven days, I will continue the two non-antibiotic drops until I use the whole bottle, but just twice a day.
One of the drops stinks a lot! I do not recall any of them causing such an “ouch” after my previous surgeries.
Last time, I was struggling getting the drops in the eye – half of them ended up missing, and I was never sure whether I should repeat or it was “good enough.” The nurse said, that if I am unsure, it is beter to repeat. Boris showed me his techniques to see the drop getting out of the bottle, which increases the chances of success dramatically, so I do not worry that much about it this time.
Boris is leaving later today, so we are going to do everything which requres bending and lifting before that. And since I am oging to the office tonorrow, I woun’t need to worry about the dishwasher until me next post-op on Thursday 🙂
Hettie's Reflections 