Time Magazine article The Dating Wealth Gap is Getting Wider talks not about the “gap in wealth” between two people dating, but more precisely, about situations when women make significantly more than men. That reminded me of how I recently saw a discussion about DEI where people said, “Well, nobody would object if the wife brings home an extra 30% of the income.” When I saw this comment, I thought: that has nothing to do with women’s equality! I wonder how you would feel in a relationship when a woman makes four or five times more than her partner! Or even fifteen times more. If everyone feels comfortable in this situation, we can discuss equality!
Continue reading “Time Magazine:The Dating Wealth Gap”Author: Hettie D.
My name is Henrietta (Hettie) Dombrovskaya. I was born in Saint-Petersburg, Russian (actually, back then – Leningrad, USSR) in 1963, and immigrated to the United States in 1996.
I love Saint Petersburg, the city I was born and raised in, and I think it’s one of the most beautiful places in the world. Similarly (but differently) I love Chicago, and can’t imagine myself moving somewhere else in the observable future.
I have three children, Igor, Vlad and Anna, all adults living on their own, and one (so far) granddaughter Nadia. I also believe that my children are the best thing that happened in my life.
As for my professional life, I am working in the field of Information Technologies. When I was twenty, I’ve declared that the databases are the coolest thing invented and that I want to do them for the rest of my life. Thirty plus years later, I still believe it’s true, and still, believe that the databases are the best. These two statements together imply that I think a person can have it all, and indeed, I think so! Keep reading my journals to find out how I did it.
Tips for Black History Month- 2025 Emergency Edition
a must-read.
Conferences
It’s a perfect storm of upcoming events.
- One of my talks was accepted for the SCaLE conference (first week of March in Pasadena). This one is the easiest – I can reuse my September talk, I just need to refresh my memory regarding the examples, and as usual, I need to advertise it on social media
- I was invited to give a short talk at the Chicago DevOps Day on March 27. They chose my security talk, but I need to create a “Lighting version” of it, which will be extremely challenging
- I am (maybe) invited to a financial conference in Chicago on March 27, I will talk with them on Monday and hopefully figure out whether I am doing it or not.
- I am invited to do a podcast on Data Bene. I am talking with them on Tuesday, and we will decide on a date.
- My security talk was accepted for PG Day Chicago. The last time I gave it was a year ago, and many things have changed since then, so I need to prepare a new version of it
- On top of that, I need to address all aspects of the conference itself (a list too long to put here) and even a longer list for DevDay, which will precede it.
- None of my talks for PgCon.dev were accepted, but the Community Summit proposal to which I was last-minute invited was, and now we have a lot of work ahead!
And this has been all along with work and other aspects of life!
One More Elpha Post
Since I almost lost one of my Elpha posts, I want to make sure another one is also stored permanently. Actually, I might have published it already, but just in case!
Continue reading “One More Elpha Post”Approaching Chicago
I almost never post the views from the airplane window, but I like that one!
What’s Happening At Home
I came back last night, and now I am heading to work. (And I will probably finish this post after my workday). For those wondering why I didn’t mention anything happening at home and whether I’ve shut myself off from all the news, I didn’t. I was closely following the news. I just do not see much point in expressing my outrage without being able to do anything constructive.
When I stopped by my neighbor’s to pick up my mail for the past two weeks, she told me that she opted not to listen to the news for these two weeks, because “she didn’t want to get upset.” That’s not for me either. I need to be informed, and I need to make informed decisions.
During the past two weeks, many not-for-profit organizations where I am a donor or a member sent emails to inform me about the staff cuts and/or program closures. One of the most upsetting was the closing of four clinics of Planned Parenthood in Illinois. These announcements make me think about whether I should re-distribute my donations, which I already planned for that year, but I haven’t made any significant changes yet.
Today was a quarterly meeting of the Howard-Evanston CC Community Board which I am a member, and the agenda looked different from what was emailed to us ten days ago. All of us were focused on the report about the readiness to resist the ICE raids and protect both program participants and staff. I was happy to learn that we have counsel available to interfere with ICE during the raids and a law firm that can provide free services when needed. However, no matter how many times during the meeting the HECC Director repeated that we need to focus on providing services to our clients, it was difficult to focus on the future and to look at it with certainty.
We will try our best, and it feels good to see how many people think that way!
Prague Dev Day
On Monday evening, I flew to Prague to deliver training at the Prague PostgreSQL Developer Day. I used my full-size (10 hours long) PostgreSQL Query Optimization Training, cut out about 1/3 of it, and updated it with the examples from the book’s second edition. The preparation took way longer than I expected when I submitted this training proposal, but I am happy with the result.
It was a super-short visit to Prague; I barely was outside. I upgraded both my flights to business class because I have nine European upgrades, and I can only use them on Finnair flights. There were only two business class passengers besides me on the way there, and I was the only one on the way back 🙂
Career Success in Tech as a Single Mother
Since Elpha.com shut down earlier this year, preserving this post here
Seen By Helsinki Railway Station
Suomenlinna
We made it to Suomenlinna (in search of the salmon soup, which, as we found out, is not being served on Sundays).
Hettie's Reflections 