On family history, parenting, education, social issues and more
Author: Hettie D.
My name is Henrietta (Hettie) Dombrovskaya. I was born in Saint-Petersburg, Russian (actually, back then – Leningrad, USSR) in 1963, and immigrated to the United States in 1996.
I love Saint Petersburg, the city I was born and raised in, and I think it’s one of the most beautiful places in the world. Similarly (but differently) I love Chicago, and can’t imagine myself moving somewhere else in the observable future.
I have three children, Igor, Vlad and Anna, all adults living on their own, and one (so far) granddaughter Nadia. I also believe that my children are the best thing that happened in my life.
As for my professional life, I am working in the field of Information Technologies. When I was twenty, I’ve declared that the databases are the coolest thing invented and that I want to do them for the rest of my life. Thirty plus years later, I still believe it’s true, and still, believe that the databases are the best. These two statements together imply that I think a person can have it all, and indeed, I think so! Keep reading my journals to find out how I did it.
In the spirit of my recent listen, Embrace Discomfort (5 hours in a semi-wild environment, once a month), I decided to spend one of the days of this long weekend at Fort Sheridan. And the book is just an excuse, although I really liked it! I love going to Fort Sheridan, and I only needed a small push – I knew I would enjoy it! I didn’t spend the whole five hours there, but I had a great time! Surprisingly, it was warmer there than in Rogers Park, or maybe it’s just that the wind was not so strong. And I didn’t even listen to an audiobook or anything – just the birds and the roaring of the waves!
… when I moved to Rogers Park. The one volunteering activity I stopped doing was nature restoration. For the past two years, however, I thought that I might get involved in the local lae shore restoration, but I didn’t make practical steps; each time I saw a workday ad, it was time I couldn’t make it, but I know that if I “can’t make it” it means that I do not want to make it that much!
So, this Sunday, here I was, learning about new invasives (wild Morning Glory), or bindweed and new natives (silverweed), and pulling out the former, and planting the latter, and planting something in the sand for the first time!
I made connections with other nature volunteers, and learned about other workdays on other beaches, and we agreed that I would be coming to pull out the bindweed whenever I have a moment, because consistency is critical, and because we can’t use pesticides that close to the water…
I learned about this museum on WBEZ (the third museum in Chicago, which I discovered on the radio!). It has been on my list for a while, and I had different ideas about with whom I should go there, but I ended up going by myself this Saturday. I really enjoyed this visit, and now I am thinking who I should invite to go with me next time 😀.
It was my first outing with the repaired right eye, and I do not know what exactly changed, but it was way easier for me to read all the signs. Somehow, things stopped duplicating at that distance, and lines stopped running away.
As for the museum itself, I could easily spend twice more time there (which I would probably do next time!) Tons of pictures below.
It’s funny that something that should be a major event in my life is just one of many good things that happened during the last week.
Since the time my left eye became so much better than my right eye after the lens replacement, I knew I wanted to do something with the right eye :). Who would have known things could be so much better! The same surgeon who did my last surgery and who is a true miracle worker, told me he can do Lasik on my right eye, and that was enough for me to say yes! With any other surgeon, I would be skeptical.
It took a while to find the date when the surgery could be done (I had to stop wearing a contact lens five days before, and I was traveling non-stop). I chose May 23, so that the surgery would be “after everything”. Also, I ordered temporary glasses for these several days. It was a complete waste of money, but I was glad I did, because I had five events during these five days! It was still extremely uncomfortable, but I managed 🙂
The surgery itself was very quick and uneventful. (I felt mildly stressed because I had to wait for a long time before they started, but that was it.) I asked not to administer sedatives, because I didn’t want to ask anybody to escort me home. They still gave me a local anasthesia, and everything was fine. It’s weird when you see and feel somebody messing with your eye😀, but not a big deal. I saw better immediately, although it was supposed to happen later. I still feel like my eyes do not work completely together, so it’s like I see with each eye better than with two together, but we will figure it out 🙂
And if you think about it, it’s amazing how much medical science has advanced in recent years!
As it is clear from my last several posts, I am on my way to “back to normal.” However, something has permanently changed; in some sense, it is a “new normal,” and I am trying to figure out how the past several months have changed me.
One thing is that I feel removed from “ordinary human feelings,” and I am unsure whether this is here to stay with me. Since October last year, I have been so focused on Prairie Postgres that everything else has become non-essential. I blame myself for not contributing to election campaign, not doing canvassing, not talking enough about the issues. I was among many who didn’t do enough. I definitely didn’t have “cycles” for that, but still.
My decision matrix, my Eisenhower quadrants, were skewed to the sole purpose of making sure the Chicago conference happens, and the Chicago community is not negatively affected. I consistently find myself at a loss responding to “how are things with you, what’s new in your life?” I mean people, who might not be my closest friends, but who know me well enough or care enough so that I can’t reply: “All good, thank you for asking.” Still, I understand that it would be the weirdest thing to start answering such questions with what is really on my mind. Because the honest answer would be something like that: “For several months, some people were trying to make my life incredibly difficult to the point I was afraid to check my email, and they were trying to stop me from doing things which were important to me and to my community. There were many times when I wanted to quit and walk out, but I did not give up, and now everything is good, and nobody is after me.” And that’s the first, second and third most important thing in my life.
I know that I didn’t talk enough with many people who care about me, and I care about them. There were several months of ignoring emails, skipping events, and telling myself that I will have time for all of that later. I can only imagine how many of my friends, especially my “remote” friends think that I forgot about them, or that their lives are not interesting to me anymore.
Looking back at the past several months, I do not know how I did it :). When i was at the PGConf.dev, and when I attended multiple meetups last week, many of those to whom I told about my not-for-profits reacted: oh, you got 501(c)?! Congratulations! Or asked me: is it your full time job? So, I guess, I did something good, and something to be proud of.
Still, I want to get back to “being human,” but Prairie Postgres would still remain not “one of the things” I am doing, but “the most important thing” I am going, and hopefully the thing that outlive me :).
One more “first time” this week – I went to a concert at the Guarneri Hall. It’s a shame I didn’t know about its existence until I heard the story on WBEZ. Since then, I have tried to find a concert that I would love to attend, that I could attend, and one that is not sold out! Finally, all stars aligned, and I was there on Thursday!
It is a former recording studio in the heart of the city, with only forty people’s capacity, that delivers an unmatched experience for any music lover. I can’t even describe the difference in the quality of the sound it makes. I sat with my mouth open for the duration of the concert!
It turned out that they have a reception after each concert; I didn’t stay because I didn’t feel right staying for just fifteen minutes and leaving, but I will definitely plan to stay next time.
Thursday was the day when they announced the next season and opened the sales, and I already got two tickets, and now I’m torn between wanting to purchase each and every concert and not wanting to risk wasting money if I won’t be able to attend. I will do one more swap :).
The past several days, starting with my return from PGConf.dev, were densely filled with various community activities.
On Sunday, I went to the Chicago Code and Coffee meetup (I planned to do this for a couple of months, but ran into a conflict each time).
It was as loud and loosely organized as it could possibly be with over three hundred nerds in one not-so-large space. The Capital Cafe decided to sponsor the meetup with free drinks, and everyone took advantage of this opportunity. I thought I would not survive in this noise level, but the organizer allowed me to speak immediately after the volunteers, so I was able to advertise my events and myself :). As a result, I have several people joined our new user group, and several RSVPs to Tuesday event.
On Tuesday, I hosted a second meetup of Prairie PUG. Inspired by what I saw at DevOpsDay Chicago, I announced the Developers’ Summit and invited application developers who use Postgres to discuss their pain points and possible solutions. I planned this event for a while, but had to postpone it several times. Finally, i was able to make it a reality.
It went really well (I neglected to take pictures of the group discussions, and only took some during the final presentations, but it was a definite success). The conversations continued after we were done with the “official” part and went back to the cafe for remaining pizza.
Then on Wednesday, I went to yet another meetup! it was the 10th anniversary of AWS meetup. I was planning to start attending this meetup, but for one reason or the other, it never worked. It almost didn’t work this time as well, because there was one more event on the same evening, but I decided I can come for just an hour, and it will be better than nothing!
I came, and talked to the organizers, and also found out that several of the Postgres meetup members attended the AWS meetup as well. I talked with several people, and told them about Prairie Postgres, and distributed my flyers. I saw that two more people joined my meetup next day, so it was not completely useless!
Another event I wanted to attend on the same day was a local CAPS beat meeting. I consider these meetings of police with local residents very important; it was unfortunate that I had so many conflicts this year and could barely attend any of them. This time, I was a little bit late, but was still able to sit through most of the meeting. Out Beat representatives talked about the crime statistics, asked about the incidents we observed on our blocks, explained which apps to use to report crimes, potentially dangerous situations and problems which do not require police involvement. I picked up several flyers for future reference.
I think it was my mistake that I ignored all “other” meetups in the past, and I am glad I started to change it. Overall, I feel like slowly starting to get back to my “normal self.”
I was shopping for plants outside the Charmer’s (yes, they are a flower shop in addition to being a cafe). A group of bikers exited the cafe and walked towards their bikes. I overheard them continuing their conversation:”… and look, maybe you will live here one day! It’s a nice place!” I couldn’t keep from smiling, and one of them saw my smile and asked: “Do you agree?” I said, “Yes, that’s the right place to live!” They turned to me: How long did you live here? Did you live in other Chicago neighborhoods before that? Ans I told them that that’s one of the best decisions I made, and I didn’t regret a single day!
When I bought this apartment, I had to fix many things just to move in. I had a limited budget and limited time, so I decided that the floors could wait. Retrospectively, if I had known back then how fast I could get the floors fixed, I might have reconsidered, but it probably won’t fit my budget anyway.
Then I was busy with other things, and didn’t have mental energy to start this project, until finally I realized I can’t look at the floors with so many bald spots anymore. I call the person who did all my painting jobs for the past three years, and he connected me to a partnering business. They did an absolutely miraculous job!
We agreed that they will work during the week I will be in Montreal. They had to move the furniture twice, and let the floor dry in between. I wanted to keep the same color, but stain the floors instead of painting, and they did exactly that! The color is just like it was, but now I can see the wood structure. The whole apartment looks so new, just “out of the box.”
Also, they actually finished a day earlier, because they wanted to make sure everything is done before I arrive. The put a couple of furniture pieces in the wrong places, but when I mentioned that, tw people came the next morning and put everything back. And I can’t stop admiring my floors 🙂
Hettie's Reflections 