Thursday was the last day of the Siskel Center’s “Entrances and Exits” series. Each night, the Film Center presented the first and last film of an outstanding director. Yesterday, it was Larisa Shepitko Heat and The Ascent. I only went to see the first one, because I can’t spend four hours in the movies, and couldn’t be that late (my workload is absolutely insane these days).
Heat is Shepetko’s first movie, the one she directed as her graduation project, and I never saw it or heard about it (yes, there are some gaps in my education). I can’t even describe how much I loved it. It’s incredible that in 1963, she could produce a full-length film that would be so moving, deep, powerful, and with almost no traces of propaganda or obligatory Soviet reports.
While searching for any information about this movie in English, I found this video, which outlines the history of Kyrgyz cinematography and talks about the Heat in detail.
I haven’t seen the movie, and I didn’t know the synopsis (and didn’t want to read any reviews before I saw it for myself), so I went in on Wednesday with an open mind.
I liked the show; There is nothing deep and philosophical, but everything is put together really well; the music and lyrics are great, and the special effects are amazing. Great entertainment and it’s exactly what I needed to balance my insane workload.
I talked to a co-worker the other day. He is not Russian, not Eastern European – nothing that would make him especially sensitive to the current political situation. I do not recall what prompted his comment about “as a Russian,” but I replied as usual that “it is not what defines me.” He proceeded with, “You are not denouncing your Russianness” and “It has nothing to do with this political situation.” It started to be more serious than a breakfast conversation in the cafeteria, but I couldn’t drop it at that point. I replied that I felt like I had everything to do with the situation because it’s my generation that didn’t follow up after the collapse of the Soviet Union and the dissolving of the Communist Party. It was my generation that let it go, and thereby I do feel responsible.
He said: I have Ukrainian neighbors on one side and Russian neighbors on the other side, and my Russian neighbors are afraid to speak Russian. And then he talked about his closest friends who are Russian and about some bets and about drinking. The latter one is a serious trigger point for me, so I said that this conversation was making me uncomfortable.
We both had to go to our desks, but I hope to continue this conversation with him. I want to ask him whether his Russian friends feel that they have something to do with what the Russian government does or if they do not think it is related to them. As for speaking Russian, I am acutely aware that at this moment in history, the Russian language for Ukrainians sounds like German during WWII for many European nations, so I do not think it’s appropriate to speak Russian in their presence (unless it’s their initiative).
Recently, I read an essay by Michael Shishkin – a Russian writer who is not at the top of the list either in Russia or internationally. I was deeply moved by this essay – my thoughts and words exactly. I agree with him that it is extremely important to understand that everybody born and raised in Russia, no matter how progressive or even radical was their upbringing, carries the baggage of imperialism. The paragraph which particularly struck me was this one:
Throughout my life, I felt I could stand steadily on the foundation of the great Russian Culture. Nowadays, there is emptiness under my feet.
Also, the way he describes the silence of the Russian writers and other intelligentsia as “hosting regular events” and “pretending that nothing is happening.” That’s exactly how I feel when I read about cultural events or new productions in Russia: I can’t take it in that people “do normal things.” And yes, I am hypocritical, I know. And yes, I understand that living under permanent pressure is impossible, and a person’s mind finds ways to accept reality as a norm. And yes, I understand that I am making many people upset. And no, I do not think I am always right, and I do not think I have any moral right to criticize others. Still, I want to be honest and convey how I feel.
When I was in Ann Arbor, Lena and I visited the Artisan Market, and I put my eye on a fruit bowl.
I couldn’t tell what was so special about it except that the colors agreed with some of my tableware. Several bowls were made by the same artist. The colors of all of them were very similar, but I chose the one you can see in the photo below because of the combination of the size and the color.
The way it blended into my dining room exceeded my expectations. Wouldn’t you agree it’s “almost Cezanne”?!
Igor was at Union Park on the last day of the DNC and took lots of pictures. Usually, I post the link to his album and also post selected photos in my blog, but this time, I do not want to post any. Here is a link you can check out. And if you click it, you’ll probably realize why there are no pictures here.
I always strive to present an objective picture, and this time, an objective picture is not appealing: I do not want to multiply any Palestinian propaganda here. If you do not see these people and their posters, you might think there is some truth in what they say. But if you just take a look, there will be no mistake. That proves my point that these days, anybody who agitates people against Harris is an enemy of good. I do not know how else to put it – it literally means that this individual is on the dark side of things. And since I know that Igor captures such events with all possible objectivity, I can tell that there were way more supporters of the Palestinian extremists than anybody else. Ukrainians and their supporters, pro-choice activists and pro-life activists, communists, and socialists, all of them combined, made a lesser crowd than pro-Palestinian protesters. And I can’t get over it.
On a separate (but still DNC-related) topic, there were lots of comments about “CTA has done a great job keeping the stations clean.” I do not disagree with that; it was hard not to notice the unusual cleanliness. However, the immediate questions are: 1) why does it have to be a convention to make this change? 2) what did it cost in terms of time, labor, etc? I do not like shows like this, and I genuinely want these questions to be answered.
There were tons of things we could do and wanted to do over this weekend, but it was not even remotely possible to fit everything in, so I suggested a couple revisions to our plans to make sure we do what’s most important for us and not rush. We ended up doing only two things today: the beach and Aquarium. Both Anna and I felt we didn’t do enough beach time on Saturday (partially because both she and I had to take calls), and Annd hardly had any beach time this summer, so we decided to skip the market and all other potential morning activities and to spend more time at the beach. Then, we took an Uber to the Aquarium and left all the luggage in a locker.
For her birthday, I gave Anna a Beluga encounter experience at the Aquarium, which ended up being a two-hour thing, and Anna said it was “one of the best things she had ever done.” (Now I want to do it myself!)
I just realized I didn’t hit “publish” on yesterday’s post. And I know why I didn’t – I wanted to add that for the third year in a row, on Vlad and Anna’s birthday, I think not about the last Russian revolution which was happening when they were born, but about Ukraine Independence Day, and the war, and about everything my generation didn’t do back then. Then I decided that I would write a separate post about it, and then I didn’t press “Post.”
The birthday was yesterday. Today, we just did things together: we went to the beach, had a post-birthday lunch, and then went to Chalk Howard, decorated our square and looked at how others decorated their’s.
The number of people on the beach was insane:
I was glad that we camped in the part which is usually less crowded because there are small rocks in the water. We had a great time and a lot of space around us. And Chalk Howard was a blast, as always.
Our square – I think next year I will buy two or three squares to accommodate all the art our family can create:) Anna reads Igor’s birthday card
Today, my twins turned thirty-three, and I have no idea when it happened 🙂 I even checked my calculation several times to ensure I was right!
Every year, on the day they are born, I tell myself and the rest of the world that having them was the best decision I ever made. Their presence in my life drove many of my decisions, which would have been drastically different otherwise.
***
This week, I listened to “Moral Decision Making,” one of the Audible Great courses. Once again, the lecturer explained that what Boris and I did thirty-six years ago was completely and unquestionably morally wrong—not like I didn’t know it before. But that was the best thing that happened to both him and me. Not only because there won’t be Vlad and Anna otherwise but also because even thirty-six years later, I smile each time I think about him, and he smiles each time he thinks about me. And this is the most impossible thing in the world, which never happens :).
I was not in the office that only day when the actual clash with police happened. And yes, it was indeed right by our office, this only serious one. The pictures made by a photographer whom I know look horrific. To be clear, I have no pity for these pro-palestinian demonstrators. I think the way they are acting, the slogans they chant, and the posters they carry – all do a great disservice to everybody, including themselves. I do not even want to copy the pictures I saw. On the one hand, they look a lot like Soviet propaganda from the 1970s: police in a capitalist country assault the workers fighting for their rights. On the other hand, the posters which protesters carry, tell a different story.
Anyway, it was a huge mess, and over 50 people were arrested (and again, I have no pity). But since it happened literally in from of our office (the Israely consulate is located on the thrid floor of the train station) many people in the office were scared, and on Wednesday and Thursday, even fewer people were in the office.
Today, one of my co-workers told me that his friend who works for Chicago Police told him that there would be even worse tonight, so if I was staying late… I told him that I have a journalist son who has a little bit different information, and I was right. I still do not have details from Igor from the Union Park, and possibly he will blog about details himself.
I only took some pictures when I was walking around Monday night waiting for the Planned Parenthood fundraiser to start.
Finally, I went to reception.
It was crowded, as you can see, and loud, as you can imagine.
From the official event photo gallery
Also, it was scheduled very late, and the talks started even later, because the speakers couldn’t get from the United Center to Carnival, where reception took place. I didn’t see a single person I would know (although the guest list promised some familiar faces). I left at ten, because otherwise, I won’t have even five hours of sleep, and before I left, one guy started to hit on me (out of all events in the world, at the Planned Parenthood event!). Now I think that it would be better if I would just donate money and not show up!
One positive thing: I wore a dress which I bought for Vlad’s wedding, and ended up not wearing, but liked it enough not to return to the store. So here is it:
Hettie's Reflections 