Mini-Vacation in Boston Day 1 – Afternoon

After the Isabella Gardner museum, we went to the Massachuset Fine Arts Museum:

I am trying not to post too many artworks because my amateur photos do not do them any justice, but since I can’t talk about these artworks without showing them, I tend to post too many:). The picture below struck me, and when I read the story, it struck me even more.

And then to a Korean place for more desserts:

Mini-Vacation In Boston, Day 1 Morning

The first day went just perfect! The building where my friend live has a great gym

We went for breakfast to Tatte:

And then to the Isabella Gardner Museum:

Continue reading “Mini-Vacation In Boston, Day 1 Morning”

Mini-Vacation In Boston Day 0

My mini-vacation started with the horrific flight delay. I was so happy with how I planned Friday, avoiding the congestion at ORD by taking public transportation, only to depart five hours later than it was scheduled!

The good thing is that I was at the AA lounge, so I had food, drinks, and comfortable seating, and also I had instance access to customer service. Eventually, I was put on a flight that departed earlier than my original one. However, we were delayed a couple of times, even on that flight. The aircraft just started to gain ground speed and then stopped, and we were told we would need to wait for the storm to clear! So – one more adventure! At least I was able to get to my friend’s apartment in Boston five minutes after midnight, not in the middle of the night!

How My Relationships With My Mom Evolved

My mom definitely punished me at a relatively young age. Even though she didn’t spank me, she would yell at me and give me “citations” but that was pretty much what all parents would do even with their toddlers. Later, she started giving me a sielent treatment.

I am trying to recall when it started, because at the time that I am writing about (when I was ten year old) this was definitely happening on regular basis. She would all of a sudden stop talking to me, stop replying to my questions, won’t tell me what I did wrong, and it would continue until I start to cry unconsolably. She would then keep ignoring me and just periodically say in a very tense voice: don’t you dare to be hysterical around me! By that time, I was extremely emotionally depended on her. It was not like this when I was younger. I would be fine staying at dacha when I was five, or being in the sanatorium when I was six. She told me later that she missed me very much and was looking for excuses to visit me more often. I was happy to see her, but I was not unhappy when she was not around. By the time I was nine or ten, it changed. When she was not around, I felt like an abandoned lover, and when she was around and was upset with me, my life was a living hell. At the time when she was giving me a silent treatment and letting me cry and cry, I thought to myself that it is not possible that she loved me and let me cry. Eventually she would finally tell me what my crime was, and after I admit my crime and ask for forgiveness, she was a loving mother again.

Now I understand that being subjected to this treatment, I learned that it’s OK to hurt a person whom you love. It’s OK to be cruel, and it does not diminish the value of your love. It took me many years to unlearn this, and not without casualties. I do not hold this against her, nor many other things. It’s not about redemption. I just remember about it when she attempts to do something similar, and make sure I am not involving myself in these games. Sometimes, I actually have to yell at her, because it’s the only way to make her take something seriously, and it’s upsetting that that’s the language she understands.

My historical posts are being published in random order. Please refer to the page Hettie’s timeline to find where exactly each post belongs and what was before and after.

TIME Magazine: America Needs to Rethink It’s Economic Model

Here is the article I wanted to discuss. The topic (“How we can fight economic inequality”) is not new, and many people write about it. The fact that the earning gap between the lowest and the highest earnings in the USA is much bigger than in Europe is equally well-known.

The idea that is not discussed very often is viewing one’s work not only as a source of income but also for its importance for independence, identity, and community.

Continue reading “TIME Magazine: America Needs to Rethink It’s Economic Model”

Young Pioneers’ Activities

Back to where I left: what were the Young Pioneers activities we were doing? The thing which we thought was the most fun happened rarely. Now that I think about it, it was mostly due to the fact that it required a lot of additional work from adults. One of the most anticipated activities was scrap metal collection. I think it was way more popular during my parent’s young pioneer’s youth when there was more scrap metal lying around. However, we had it in my school a couple of times, and we would find some old pipes in the corners of the courtyards and triumphantly bring them to school. And, of course, there was a “socialist competition” between classes (or, to be more precise, between different pioneer detachments). Retrospectively, I suspect that there was a big hassle of taking this scrap metal away from the schoolyard to the processing facility, which is why it was not a very popular activity. Also, the need for scrap metal was not as dire in the 1970s as it was in the 1930s-1950s.

Less exciting but still moderately adventurous was recycling paper collection. That involved ringing the doorbells of innocent citizens and asking: do you have some recycling paper by any chance? With a relatively high probability, they would give us a stack of old newspapers. And then again, there was a “socialist competition” between detachments. In case it is not obvious to the next generations, we were running around, looking for this scrap metal and knocking on people’s doors completely unsupervised, starting from the age of ten (that’s when you would become a young pioneer).

Other activities were way more boring. Nobody liked to “clean the territory” during “subbotniks”—voluntary-obligatory cleaning work on Saturdays or other days whenever they were announced. Nobody liked to stay after school for voluntary-obligatory meetings. A big part of the meetings was scolding our classmates who fell behind with their grades. As I mentioned earlier, everybody’s grades were public knowledge, and all teachers, even those whom we liked and who were genuinely better than others, would announce everybody’s test grades and even comment on specific mishaps of students in front of the whole class.

Then “class active” which included the detachment council chairperson and a couple of others, obtained addresses of those who were “falling behind” (otherwise called “tailers” as “tail’), and then the whole group of us went to these addresses to “talk to the parents.” Almost all apartments in our neighborhood were “communal,” with many families living in one apartment with the big communal kitchen being the center of the social life. We would walk in, call for “Misha’s parents” or “Natasha’s parents,” and tell them that their son or daughter was “holding the whole class behind.” They would, in turn, yell at their son or daughter, “You should be ashamed that your own classmates came to tell us about your behavior!” We would ask parents “to take appropriate measures” and leave, never thinking what those appropriate measures were going to be.

Yet another activity was making wall newspapers: there were articles, cartoons, etc., as in the real newspaper, but everything was mounted on a big poster paper that was in turn mounted on the wall in the class so everybody could read and comment out loud. Unfortunately, I didn’t save any of those from my middle school years, but I have a couple from my mom’s time (I didn’t scan them yet!).

Usually, very few students in each class were interested in doing any of these things. Our teachers and “pioneer leaders” used to say that most of the students were “inertial” and “not active,” and to be honest, I do not even think that the lack of desire to do anything was related to the politicized agenda. I think that by the beginning of the fourth grade, most of my classmates really didn’t want to do anything. 

My historical posts are being published in random order. Please refer to the page Hettie’s timeline to find where exactly each post belongs and what was before and after.

It’s 11:30 (Almost)

Beach weather on Tuesday:

Crazy winds on Tuesday night,

Crazy work week, and “four in five” never goes well. Somehow, I am all packed for a trip, and ready for the official start of summer. Whether I will have time to sleep or now, I am still not 100% sure 🙂

About me…

Two things happened yesterday. First, I was tagged in a LinkedIn post, and following the link, I got to listen to a podcast where people were talking about me. And I realized that it was the first time that somebody was talking about me, and it was not an interview or a panel, I was not involved in this podcast in any way, but people talked about me like “the fact of life.” (If you are curious, you can listen starting from 27:05)

Ship It! 104: FROM guests SELECT Andrew – Listen on Changelog.com

The second thing was that I was looking for my own videos about bitemporal framework, and I found that Google classifies me as a public figure 🤨. The good part is that Google does not show anything bad or horribly personal about me, mostly my talks on Postgres, some articles and interviews, including the very old ones… So I guess it’s OK 🙂 

Public Transportation News

I didn’t know about it, but there is a way to request new bike racks at specific locations. I learned about it from the newsletter of our new, about-to-open coop, Wild Onion Market, and I requested a bike rack close to our about-to-be-open coop.

Another thing that is on the news: Chicago has had the largest increase in bikers for the past several years compared to any other US city, but bikers’ safety is among the worst. And those who are in Chicago do not need to be reminded about it!

As for other means of public transportation, the Metra line, which I use for my commute (UP-North), has launched a new schedule. First, there is now one extra stop between mine and the next one towards the city. That’s more bad than good news for me because it now takes longer to get to the final destination. There is also some good news, though: several trains were added to the weekday schedule. The one which I really wanted departs Rogers Park Station at 6-30. I took it on Monday, the first day of the new schedule in effect, and there were only four people except for me who got on this train at Rogers Park. I think that there will be more, and I hope that it will offload some people from the 7 AM train.

Speaking of which, I took a 7-15 AM today because I wanted to have a longer bike ride before work and also because I thought that 7-15 would be less crowded. But alas, I still had to stand all the way to the final stop! Tuesdays are impossible! I don’t know who is “not in the office” these days.

There is one more extra morning train (8-10), which I believe should ease the morning commute for the second morning wave, and also an outbound 4-50PM. And also, Kenosha finally becomes reachable during the day, which means that we can drop-off/pick-up my granddaughters there. The only remaining issue is how to get to work on Tuesday and have a bike ride before that 🙂

Mom

The week before last was quite challenging on the “mom’s front.” She forgot again that since the start of the war, we haven’t congratulated her on V-Day. And to be honest, no matter how many times I tell myself that it does not really matter, that she is where she is mentally and can’t reason straight, I still can’t create a version of the “Goodbye Lenin” movie. I can’t make myself think that “it doesn’t matter.” I can’t make myself to say anything celebratory. We talked about this two years ago. A year ago. She kept bringing it up again this year, and I ended up raising my voice and being upset, and the latter one was completely unnecessary.

The WWII Veterans’ organization organized a concert and a celebration at a restaurant, and my mom was invited to both. Later, she told me that at one of the events, another veteran asked her whether she had a social worker. When my mom replied that she didn’t have one, they kept asking who did shopping for her and who cooked and cleaned. She proudly replied that she was doing all of it by herself.

I remember how excited I was when I learned that I could get a social worker for her and offload some of my responsibilities. And I remember how upset she became when I told her that this could be an option. I see at least two different aspects here.

Continue reading “Mom”