Month: November 2023

Assassins At Theo

The week is almost over, but it feels like it was just yesterday: I went to Theo to see a performance of Assassins with my long-time friend who is very much into musical theater.

That was a perfect outing for us! The first time I saw a show at Theo, I loved it but realized I wanted to be at the table. Then, I subscribed for a table sitting, and it was awesome. This time, I added a ticket for my friend and dinner for both of us. I didn’t want to add a dinner just of myself, and I was not sure whether I wanted to spend an extra hour and a half in the theater before the performance. With my friend, however, everything was just perfect!

We both liked the food, and we had enough time for a long conversation, and she liked the show, and she liked the whole cabaret idea (and I liked it, too!).

Today, I was finally able to find a show clip, which I am happy to post.

And here is more reading about the musical. It is running for five more weeks! (And I just can’t believe I am so fortunate to have several amazing theaters so close to home)

Happiness

I am still thinking about feeling happy. The book “Happiness Falls” gave an extra boost to these thoughts, but regardless of the book, I think about it quite often.

Today, I was working on a problem I’ve been working on for the past several days (whenever I was not involved in putting up fires). At some point, I moved my gaze away from the screen, looked in the direction of the window, and thought: how lucky I am! How fortunate I am! I know it seems like an improbable thought in the middle of an intense workday, but the feeling was very pronounced. I am sitting at my desk in a beautiful office, surrounded by smart people, doing the job I passionately love, making good money, and doing tons of other things I enjoy doing. Even with Anna’s knee injury and my mom’s ongoing situation, nobody has any life-threatening diseases.

I don’t know whom to thank, but I do not think I will ever take everything I have for granted. Feeling grateful makes me an even happier person. Also, it’s a constant reminder about how many people are less fortunate than I am. 

I had a thought recently. I know that there are people who want homeless persons “out of sight – out of mind.” They do not want to be disturbed by unpleasant pictures, and I sort of understand what’s going on in their minds. I thought there were even more disparities one hundred and fifty years ago. And I am wondering, how did rich people feel walking down State Street and seeing all these disparities worse than nowadays? How could they be happy?…

From Time Magazine: Inside Volodymyr Zelensky’s Struggle to Keep Ukraine in the Fight

(Copying the text for those who do not have access to the site)

‘Nobody Believes in Our Victory Like I Do.’ Inside Volodymyr Zelensky’s Struggle to Keep Ukraine in the Fight
BY SIMON SHUSTER/KYIV

Volodymyr Zelensky was running late.

The invitation to his speech at the National Archives in Washington had gone out to several hundred guests, including congressional leaders and top officials from the Biden Administration. Billed as the main event of his visit in late September, it would give him a chance to inspire U.S. support against Russia with the kind of oratory the world has come to expect from Ukraine’s wartime President. It did not go as planned.

That afternoon, Zelensky’s meetings at the White House and the Pentagon delayed him by more than an hour, and when he finally arrived to begin his speech at 6:41 p.m., he looked distant and agitated. He relied on his wife, First Lady Olena Zelenska, to carry his message of resilience on the stage beside him, while his own delivery felt stilted, as though he wanted to get it over with. At one point, while handing out medals after the speech, he urged the organizer to hurry things along.

The reason, he later said, was the exhaustion he felt that night, not only from the demands of leadership during the war but also the persistent need to convince his allies that, with their help, Ukraine can win. “Nobody believes in our victory like I do. Nobody,” Zelensky told TIME in an interview after his trip. Instilling that belief in his allies, he said, “takes all your power, your energy. You understand? It takes so much of everything.”

It is only getting harder. Twenty months into the war, about a fifth of Ukraine’s territory remains under Russian occupation. Tens of thousands of soldiers and civilians have been killed, and Zelensky can feel during his travels that global interest in the war has slackened. So has the level of international support. “The scariest thing is that part of the world got used to the war in Ukraine,” he says. “Exhaustion with the war rolls along like a wave. You see it in the United States, in Europe. And we see that as soon as they start to get a little tired, it becomes like a show to them: ‘I can’t watch this rerun for the 10th time.’”

Continue reading “From Time Magazine: Inside Volodymyr Zelensky’s Struggle to Keep Ukraine in the Fight” →

CSO For Kids

One one-time participation in the discussion of the CSO youth programs and my readiness to be one of the CSO for Kids ambassadors keeps getting me unexpected benefits.

I had tickets for the “bigger kids concert” for last Saturday’s matinee, and about ten days before that, I received an invitation for the exclusive behind-the-scene tours, for which I happily signed us both. Since Anna is not exactly in a position to travel, on Friday, I took Haiawata to Milwaukee; Anna dropped Nadia off at the train station, and we got on the same train back to Chicago (as usual, the conductor said: hope to see you again soon! and I replied: you’ll see me very soon!

Saturday was the CSO day. We had this amazing backstage tour an hour before the concert:

We all went on stage!
A view form the stage
Continue reading “CSO For Kids” →

“Happiness Falls” – A Book review

Recently, I returned or deleted several books in my audio library that were bought impulsively or by mistake. When I started listening to them, I soon realized I didn’t want to continue. That being said when I started to listen to Happiness Falls, I thought that this book would end up in the same virtual dumpster. To my surprise, I realized that I wanted to keep reading! Moreover, I used each and every single free minute to keep listening until I finished the book. 

I was especially surprised that I ended up liking it so much because one of the main themes of the book resonates with the central theme of Everything is f*cted, the book which I didn’t like at all. The idea is that happiness is relative, and the higher the “base level,” the more difficult it is to reach a high level of happiness. Sure, the objective measuring of happiness is a separate issue, but at least subjectively, many (if not most) people agree. 

I do not like this idea because, for many years, inspired by my mom’s attitude, I was always super anxious for this very reason. When I wanted something to happen, or I was anticipating something good coming/happening soon, I tried to lower my expectations so that I wouldn’t be disappointed. This way of thinking evolved quickly into experiencing severe anxiety before these potentially good events. I imagined all sorts of things that would prevent good things from happening. Likewise, I was never fully immersed in being happy, always thinking that “there will be consequences.” 

It took years after I moved to the US (which meant being away from my mom and also observing a very different attitude to life) until I started to realize that I was harming both myself and my loved ones and that I started to learn to think and live differently. It took a while, but I made this change, possibly because, by nature, I am a happy person, and I was a happy child until I was taught to be unhappy. 

The most important thing I loved about this book is another theme: reflections about how a non-verbal person is judged in our society as mentally incapable. The author draws a parallel between being a foreigner who does not know the language of their new country and a person with motor skills deficiencies that prevent them from using spoken language. 

Language (and accent)-wise, I’ve written about it so often that I do not want to repeat it. I had it both ways: being a subject of “those who speak with an accent think with an accent” and subconsciously having the same attitude toward others. I am deeply ashamed of the latter, but I can’t deny that I had that attitude at some point in my life. 

Also, I couldn’t stop thinking about one Russian family whom I have known for many years, where the mother discovered a similar way to communicate with her son with severe cerebral palsy. I remember both her struggles and disbelief and denial from the doctors and general public, all the accusations of “faking” her son’s communications with others. I could not stop thinking about them all the time I was listening to this book. 

What I Liked About My Night Out

Same as my last weekend, I liked that I didn’t have to rush through the evening. My workdays are such that I am completely focused on what I am doing, and I often need to literally solve several problems in parallel. I love the excitement of chasing the problem and fixing it, and I also like these intense sessions of design when you go through several solutions, try one, go through code building, find design flaws, discard and start over. However, this leaves you completely drained even if you do not work long hours.

I like to fit a lot in my day, but it also takes an ingenuity to take a day (or night) as it goes, having an agenda, but not necessarily a timeline.

The last weekend was good, and the week that followed was also good, but now I am facing a challenge of making it through the rest of the year without a crisis.

Halloween For Myself

That was one of the few days for a very long time when I didn’t have any obligations after work: no volunteering, no visits to my mom, and nothing urgent to write about. And I had plans just for myself. The plan was:

  • Finally, visit the newly reopened Pret on Monroe

I should mention that Halloween was the coldest day of this fall so far. It was freeing and it was snowing for the good part of the day:

From the office window

However, by the end of the workday, the snow stopped and the sun came out:

  • After Pret, I walked towards the Starbucks Reserve Roastery on North Michigan Avenue. I rarely walk in this direction these days, and I enjoyed every minute of that walk.
Continue reading “Halloween For Myself” →

No Title…

My friend from Saint Petersburg told me this horror story. She was talking to her friend in Germany on her landline (there is some huge discount on landline calls from Germany, as she explained). Since it was almost free for her friend, they talked for a long time – over forty minutes. While they were still talking, she heard the buzzer from downstairs: Open, police!

Frightened, she buzzed them in, and two policemen in full gear entered her apartment. They asked her whom she was talking to, and whether she was sure it was her friend, not a scummer, and what city she was calling from. They said that they “wanted to protect her” from possible scum(?!). All looked like they came to arrest my friend, and it took her a while to talk them into leaving her alone.

Later, she started to question her other friends, and it turned out that others had similar situations (all conversations were on landlines and calls coming from Germany).

I don’t know what else to add…

Helping In The Kitchen

Last week, my granddaughters asked me at what age their mom started to cook and at what age I started to cook. I could not remember when Anna started, although I remember that by the age of nine, both Vlad and Anna were cooking on a regular basis, and we had a schedule of who was making dinner each day.

As for me, the biggest problem was that in order to cook, I had to turn on a gas burner on the stove, and the burners didn’t have ignition. To start the burner, you had to strike a match, turn a gas knob up and move a burning match close to the burner. The scariest part for me was lighting a match. I was scared to scratch the head of the match with a force enough to produce sparkles. My mom was teaching me, and these lessons would end up with me crying and with her yelling at me. I do not remember why and how I overcame this fear, but it was definitely after I turned eight.

Even warming up the food was not that easy because microwaves didn’t exist (at least in our lives), so I needed to use our gas stove to warm up my food after I was back from school. The food would be most often “cutlets” (now I call them “Russian meatballs”) with potatoes or pasta, and I had to warm it up on a skillet, adding some butter so that it wouldn’t get burned and stirring constantly. I remember that for a period of time, my mom left one burner on (on “low”) in the morning so that I could turn it on “high” when I came home from school and warm up my meal. (There were other adults at home, so I do not know what was the deal and why others could not help me). This was supposedly “dinner,” but all this meal naming was a separate story.

Back to cooking. My help in the kitchen while I was limited to some low-skill level tasks. One of the things I was often assigned (and I hated it!) was to “watch the milk.” The unpasteurized milk from the barrel had to be brought to boil, and I had to stay by the stove and watch, and when it started boiling, I had to turn it off. Otherwise, it would “run away.” Of course, I would look aside precisely at the moment when it happened!
Another chore was making mannaya kasha, which pretty much meant stirring non-stop, making sure it was not burned. And another one was potato peeling. It was always done with a knife, and the quality of my work was judged by how cleanly I peeled potatoes and how thin the peel layer was so that the waste would be minimized. More than fifty years later, I am still a potato peeling champion.

My historical posts are being published in random order. Please refer to the page Hettie’s timeline to find where exactly each post belongs and what was before and after.

The Earliest Christmas Present Ever:)