I married Igor (Igor’s dad) thirty-six years ago, on December 22, 1984. Igor was twenty-two, and I was a month short of being twenty-two.
The was not too young by then-standards to get married. I’d say most young people would get married around that age, either right before graduating from college or right after. I talked about this situation briefly here.
I hope that I will tell the whole story of our relationships at some point, but the short outline looks like this. We started dating in September (I can’t recall the date, though I might find it). Igor proposed to me about six weeks into our relationship, and I said yes. Then we went to register to get married in a complete secret because first, we were afraid of gossips in the university, and second, we knew that his parents wouldn’t be thrilled. We went to register at the local Bureau of Registration of Igor’s district. The usual waiting time was three months, but somehow they told us that we could get married on December 22, which was only six weeks ahead, and we gladly accepted.
Igor told his parents four weeks before the wedding day, there was a scene, but then things calmed down. Then both of us announced to my mm and all my relatives with whom we lived together, and they were very happy and congratulated us, and all was like it was supposed to be on a happy occasion.
We arranged our parents were meeting and getting to know each other, and then the only thing we were trying to do was to minimize the attempts of Igor’s parents to have a big celebration. We wanted nothing of it. Okey, it is possible that Igor wanted, but I didn’t, and at that point, he would d what I wanted :).
His mother used this occasion to order a good suit for him, and I asked my friend’s mother to make a velvet skirt and vest for me. I didn’t want a while dress, anything which I would wear just once. We didn’t have any extra money; we didn’t have money, period, and we didn’t want our parents to give us money.
For me, it was just the beginning of the relationship; I knew that being in love does not mean you can build a family together, but there was no option to find it out except for getting married.
The pictures below are the only pictures ai have from our wedding. A standard set; we got an album, and the parents got a set of printed photos, and that was it.
Our witnesses, Igor’s friend Sasha and my friend Lena were the only people except for our immediate relatives who knew that we are getting married, and we asked them to keep the information to themselves.
On Igor’s side, it’s his mother and his stepfather, and I do not remember why his father was not invited.
The “adults” left to Igor’s (and his parents) apartment, where they were going to have a party. Four of us took a subway to the Nevsky Prospect and had champaign and ice-cream in the Frog Place (the most popular ice-cream parlor). Then Lena and Sasha went home, we returned to Igor’s apartment, set at the table with the “adults” for half an hour, and left to take a train to Tallinn – one-day trip, four rubles for a student ticket; and we could not afford more.
I do not regret that I got married thirty-six years ago because I do not regret anything I’ve done in my life. It meant to be then. And who knows how my life would turn if I won’t get married :). In any case, all the things we are doing, all decisions we are making make us the people we are, and I like myself the way I am 🙂
My historical posts are being published in random order. Please refer to the page Hettie’s timeline to find where exactly each post belongs, and what was before and after.